I recently met a great guy online. We have incredible chemistry, and we’re on the same wavelength about so many things. We’ve only been on a few dates, and he wants to spend New Year’s Eve with me. I’m not sure if that’s such a good idea. It feels like it’s too soon.
While I really like him, New Year’s seems ominous, a big night to spend with a serious boyfriend. Since we’re obviously not serious at this point (even though we like each other a lot), is this too soon? Should I go out with him, or make plans with my girlfriends for the big ball drop?
Congratulations on meeting a guy you like who likes you, too. Many women over 50 give up on online dating because they don’t have success. So, it’s commendable that you kept on dating until you met someone with whom you have a strong connection. And he likes you enough to want to spend New Year’s eve with you. Yay!
While meeting a good guy is definitely worth celebrating, I truly commend you for your ability to balance your heart with your head. Even though you’re excited about dating this new guy, your instinct is to slow it down. I couldn’t agree with you more. I believe that “slow and steady” is usually the wisest way to build a budding relationship.
Of course there are exceptions to the “slow and steady” rule. You probably know at least one couple that started with a bang and continued to grow in intensity. I subscribe to dating “principles” more than hard and fast rules. There is no “one size fits all” in dating. And one of my general dating principles is to beware of instant chemistry. It’s easy to follow your heart and libido and jump into an instant relationship when there’s strong chemistry and attraction.
When you’ve been in the “dating desert” for a long time and you finally meet a guy with whom you feel a strong connection – a spring of delicious cold water – you want to drink and drink and drink. But you can overdo it and get a little sick from too much too soon.
To learn about the danger of instant attraction and the importance of pacing in a new relationship, read more here.