Subscribe to this


before making these

3 dating mistakes ever again!

We respect your privacy. No SPAM!

Hot tips, tools and dating advice

If you’re a single woman over 40, follow the blog to learn how to attract quality men, sustain a healthy relationship, break up with dignity, understand and communicate with men 40 +, and much more…

5 Hacks to Instantly Increase Your Confidence in Dating

confidence in dating“Just be confident!”


Men and women struggle with self-confidence when it comes to dating and eventually attracting the right partner. Many people deal with insecurities and crippling anxieties when they think about going on a date with someone they’re very attracted to.


But it doesn’t have to be this way. You don’t have to think that you are not confident enough to approach her or to smile at him. There are ways to feel confident within minutes or even seconds, without overcompensation and without faking it.

Share this!
Read More

Why Gratitude Makes You Sexier

gratitudeInstead of blaming your ex for your struggles, focus on gratitude for the gifts of your relationship.

Thanksgiving in the United States means…long lines at Costco and Trader Joe’s, turkey, cranberry sauce, gravy, sweet potato pie with marshmallows on top, green bean casserole, and pumpkin pie, delays at the airport, traffic jams, and family tension.

Thanksgiving is also about giving thanks. It’s about gratitude. Having a gratitude practice – on Thanksgiving and every day – can help you get through the tough times in your life.

“Gratitude always comes into play; research shows that people are happier if they are grateful for the positive things in their lives, rather than worrying about what might be missing.”

— Dan Buettner

I can put things into perspective because I have a daily gratitude practice.

As I think about recent national and international crises, my heart breaks. And the issues I’m dealing with in my life pale in comparison. I can put things into perspective because I have a daily gratitude practice.

The first thing I do when I wake up is say “Thank you.”

Thank you for the gift of another day, for my healthy body and mind, for my wonderful children, my amazing clients. The list changes slightly from day to day, but gratitude is always the first thing on my mind.


Why is gratitude so important?

Life can be challenging. Things happen—a large bill for home or car repairs, a disgruntled client or boss, a child going through a tough time. And then there are larger, more devastating challenges—a scary medical diagnosis, or the tragic loss of someone you love.

How do you view your challenges? You don’t get to choose the crisis, but you do get to choose how you process it.

You don’t get to choose the crisis, but you do get to choose how you process it.

When you are grateful for what you DO HAVE rather than focusing on what you don’t, you can deal much better with whatever comes your way. You life become richer every time you manage a crisis with grace. And that’s sexy.


Gratitude helps in life and love

Ever been on a date with someone who was fuming at her ex for leaving her financially ruined? Exhausting, right? She is stuck in blame, which is a crappy place to be, for her and for anyone she dates.

Sure, it can be difficult to heal from a divorce or the breakup of a long-term relationship. But you have a choice as to how you process it. Instead of blaming your ex for your struggles, focus on gratitude for the gifts of your relationship.

Yep. If you have children born of that union, that’s the greatest gift of all. Maybe your ex taught you the importance of setting boundaries in future relationships. Perhaps he or she taught you the importance of good communication in a relationship.

Gratitude is sexy

You know what’s sexy? When a person takes responsibility for what they learn in life’s toughest moments, that’s attractive and very sexy. When a person is grateful for what they have, that’s sexy.


A Gratitude Practice

You want to be sexier? Develop a gratitude practice. I’ll start with my list of five.

My gratitude list

  1. My healthy, gorgeous, talkative 17-month old granddaughter
  2. My 3 wonderful, thoughtful, kind, beautiful children
  3. The amicable relationship I’ve developed with my ex-husband
  4. My inspiring clients who are attracting the loving relationships they deserve
  5. My ability to do work that I love, work that makes a positive impact on the lives of others

Wishing you and your family a gratitude-filled, loving, and very Happy Thanksgiving!

Please share your top 5 gratitude list in the comments below.


This article appeared in The Good Men Project

Photo: Flickr/Evelyn Lim

Share this!
Read More

5 Steps to Manifest the Love You Want

manifest love

Isabelle Rizo is a remarkable young woman. And I mean young…she’s in her early twenties, and she is wise beyond her years. She skipped college (yay, college is NOT for everyone), and founded The Bellavie, a company devoted to helping entrepreneurial women who “want to live beautiful lives by starting businesses that allow for more travel, freedom, and creativity.

She’s about to start a new venture, which has yet to be announced, and I’m sure it will be a success. I hired Isabelle to help me launch my online courses. And what I got was more than I bargained for. We became friends, kindred spirits. She helped me with business, and I helped her with the love business!

When Isabelle announced that she was no longer single, I jumped at the opportunity to share her story of how she manifested love into her life. We ‘blabbed’ about it this week.

Share this!
Read More

The Ups and Downs of Online Dating

online dating

Lauren Urasek is a science geek turned makeup artist in her mid-twenties. With more than 15,000 four- and five-star ratings, an average of 35 messages per day, and hundreds of thousands of profile views from interested suitors, Lauren was dubbed “the most popular girl on OKCupid” by New York magazine. After being inundated with online dating messages, she began to document them in her Tumblr. 

I spoke with Lauren on Last First Date Radio about her new book documenting her journey through online dating in The Ups and Downs of Online Dating from the Most Popular Girl in New York City. I’ve posted highlights of the show in today’s blog.

Share this!

Read More

5 Red Flags to Avoid When Dating After 40

red flagsTechnology is ever-changing, and it’s a challenge to keep up with all the new social media tools out there. Most people my age are not even comfortable with Facebook—forget about Twitter and Google plus, Pinterest and Instagram!

I love learning about the latest in technology, and I’ve been intrigued by a new social media platform called Blab, defined as “a place to watch, join, and interact with live conversations about the topics that matter most to you.” It’s like a public Skype with up to four screens streaming live at the same time. Anyone can join and ask questions in the live chat. It’s super cool, and the quality is excellent.

I thought it would be a fantastic platform for sharing my message about smarter dating to a wider audience. So, I invited my good friend and colleague, Bobbi Palmer, CEO of Date Like a Grownup, to co-host a blab with me about the 5 dating red flags every woman over 40 should know before they get involved.

Share this!
Read More

Divorce Support and Valuable Insights

divorce supportGreg Frank is the Co-Founder & CEO of DivorceForce provides a safe and supportive community for anyone to navigate all aspects of divorce.

It’s a place where people can find each other in similar situations – geographically, socially and financially. People come to DivorceForce to ask advice, educate, find independent views and share experiences – both professional and personal.

DivorceForce assists you during a divorce and will enrich your life at the end of the process with tools, support, valuable insights and new friends.

Greg was my guest on Last First Date Radio, where he shared valuable advice about how to obtain divorce support: before, during, and after. Highlights of our show below.

Share this!

Read More

Why Does She Attract Closeted Gay Men?

Dear Sandy,

I listen to all of your podcasts and LOVE them!  They have been extremely helpful to me as I have been navigating the online dating world for a while now, searching for my mate who I know is out there we just haven’t connected physically yet!  So, THANK you for your wonderful advice, sharing your experiences, and hosting interviews with extremely high caliber, professional guests.

I do have a request or suggestion for a topic that I would like for you discuss.  I have been on several dates and/or started relationships with men who I later found out were in the closet (gay).  Actually, the warning signs were there when I first met these men, but I tried to dismiss them in my mind because how can you be 100% sure? I had lack of proof, and some men I guess may have effeminate characteristics and not be gay.  I feel that even if they are not gay, they have strong feminine qualities that I am not attracted to.  But this scenario is extremely frustrating for me and I’m struggling to know why I attract closeted gay men and how I can stop attracting them?



Share this!
Read More