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If you’re a single woman over 40, follow the blog to learn how to attract quality men, sustain a healthy relationship, break up with dignity, understand and communicate with men 40 +, and much more…

How to Find and Keep a Good Man

how to find and keep a good manAshley Arn is happily married and passionate about helping others experience the joy that comes from sharing a deep connection with your partner. She has earned a Bachelor and, Master of Arts degrees specializing in Marital and Family Therapy, and a Doctorate in Psychology, all of which require extensive training and experience working with people to create loving relationships. Ashley’s experience in relationship psychology and deep understanding of successful matchmaking make her an ideal relationship guide for you. Ashley wants to build a connection with you so that she can help you find that special someone to share your life with.

Ashley was my guest on Last First Date Radio. She spoke about How to Find and Keep a Good Man. Below are loosely transcribed highlights of the show.

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Self-Care is Crucial When You’re Looking for Love After 40

self-careIn my last newsletter, I spoke about the importance of self-care, especially if you’re dating after 40. If you’re anything like me, you grew up with the belief that self-care is selfish. The message in my home was, “Care for others before caring for yourself”. While I’m an advocate for giving to others, if you don’t give to yourself first, you will often be running on empty. Everyone gets a piece of you except YOU.

When you’re dating, self-care is even more crucial. In caring for yourself, you are modeling how you want to be treated by your future romantic partner . If you put yourself at the bottom of your to-do list, you may as well be wearing as sign that says, “Treat me as an afterthought”. Take exquisite care of yourself and model what you want from your partner; to be cherished, loved, and prioritized.  Don’t you want to date someone who takes care of themselves, too?

I asked my newsletter readers to share 3 things they do to for self-care. I loved their responses. My readers are self-care superstars! Here’s what they had to say…

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How to Quickly Identify if There’s a Lasting Love Connection

lasting love Have you ever felt like you wasted precious time dating the wrong person? It can be difficult to know whether you should give him/her more time to see if there’s a lasting love connection. Most of us struggle with this issue. We spend too little time with the right people and too much time with the wrong ones.

Why? It could be because you don’t know the essential qualities to look for, the must-haves that you absolutely need in a partner in order to have the lasting love connection you’re seeking. But…what if it was easy to quickly identify if there is that lasting love connection? I’m sharing an exercise that can help…


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Cultivate Your Relationship by Creating Unique Customs

cultivate your relationshipWhen does a romantic relationship jump from being casual to serious? Do you stop saying “hello” when you answer the phone and just pick up the conversation where you last left off? Do you stop calling it a “date” and start calling it “dinner”? When do you start tracking the milestones?

No matter what the status of your relationship, you know the moment where everything changes — where it stops being “me” and “you” and starts being “we.” From that point on, you’re working to build a future together and trying to enrich your relationship with customs and traditions that are all your own. The best of these are born naturally out of your relationship — your common interests and favorite places — but there also are ways to create meaningful ones that you can share for a lifetime. Here are just a few ways you can cultivate your relationship by creating unique customs.

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Midlife Marriage: Prenup or No Prenup?

prenup or no prenupAuthor, Speaker and Lawyer for men David Pisarra is an internationally recognized authority on Fathers and Men’s Rights. He is a sought-after speaker on what men need to know about Family Law and protecting themselves and their relationships with their children.

He is currently filming a documentary about men who are victims of domestic violence called, What About The Men?

I’ve transcribed highlights from our radio interview on Last First Date Radio, where David Pisarra spoke about whether you need a prenup or no prenup when marrying in midlife.

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If He Wants to Break Up, Why Is He Still Sleeping With Me?

why is he still sleeping with me Dear Sandy,

I was dating a guy—he’s 53-years-old and I’m 33. Yes, there’s a big age gap, but I fell in love with him. We always enjoyed our time together. I thought we could have a serious romantic relationship. One day, I received an email from him saying he is not ready for a real relationship. I tried so hard to change his mind. He said his main priorities right now are his health and his job. I already invested so much in him, and at the end he tells me he is not ready? I can’t figure out why he said this. He was so nice to me the whole time. How could he drop me so suddenly? And just last week, I was at his place and we got intimate again. If he wants to break up, why he is still sleeping with me? 


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When She Said ‘No’ to Sex On Their Second Date, He Disappeared

he disappearedThis article first appeared on The Good Men Project

Dear Houdini (my disappearing man),

Over the past year, I went on scores of first dates with men who talked about themselves too much (do I really need to hear about your genius grandson for the third time on a first date?). Men whose idea of first date conversation is ex-wife bashing, complaining about their dire financial situation, or talking about their aches and pains throughout dinner. Um, no, thank you.

Then, I met you on an online dating site. I was immediately drawn to your passion and zest for life, your keen intelligence and creativity, your manliness, and your sexiness. I felt alive with possibility!

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