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If you’re a single woman over 40, follow the blog to learn how to attract quality men, sustain a healthy relationship, break up with dignity, understand and communicate with men 40 +, and much more…

Single this Holiday Season? 5 Ways to Stay Happy (and Sane)

single this holiday seasonYou’re single this Holiday season. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Chanukah, or Kwanza, the holidays can be challenging. TV commercials paint a Norman Rockwell-esque portrait of couples-happy-in-love during the holidays. It can make you want to throw things at your flatscreen. When everyone around you seems to be happily coupled, it can be tough to stay positive (and sane) around the holidays. But have no fear! Help is on the way…

 

 

 

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Substance Misuse and Victims of Domestic Violence

domestic violenceToday’s guest post is by Amy, a writer for Steps to Recovery, a site that helps victims of domestic violence. It is my passion to help women over 40 make safe and healthy choices in dating and relationships. If you’ve ever been in an abusive relationship -verbally, emotionally, or physically – please read this article. If you know anyone who’s been abused, please share this post.

Although intimate partner violence is more likely to begin before the age of 35, with CDC figures showing this is the case for more than 90% of women, physical, sexual or psychological assaults can affect women of any age. Alcohol and drug use in partners is frequently implicated in violent attacks against women, but it is important to appreciate that a problem with substance misuse can also place you at greater risk of serious abuse within a relationship, and that suffering from abuse is a potential trigger for alcohol and drug dependency.

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5 Apps to Improve Your Relationship

improve your relationshipRelationship needs have changed over the years. They have evolved from physiological and safety needs to being more about self-actualization and relating and responding to one another, shows research from Northwestern University. Those ideas might be hard to consolidate when we live in a world where texting, email and social media are the norm and gazing into your partner’s eyes may only be an occasional indulgence. Instead of trying to separate our plugged-in culture with our relationships, why not embrace it? Download an app to your smartphone that is designed to enhance your intimacy needs, improve your relationship, and give your relationship a fiery boost.

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Letting Go of Your Ex

letting go of your exEllen and Jim dated for six months. In the beginning, their relationship was wonderful. The attraction was strong, and they shared many common values and interests. By month six, Ellen realized there was one red flag she could no longer shove under the rug. Jim had unresolved anger issues, and his last outburst was the final straw. He wasn’t in therapy and didn’t think his anger was a big deal. If he wasn’t going to take responsibility for his anger issues, Ellen wanted out. She got together with Jim and told him it was over.

He was devastated and shocked. He said he didn’t see it coming, even though Ellen had discussed her concerns with him many times. He wouldn’t take “no” for an answer and began stalking her. He wrote her long emails, professing his undying love, pleading with her to take him back. Then he began to text her daily. His obsession with Ellen had the exact opposite effect than the one he intended. Ellen felt annoyed and unsafe. She told him to leave her alone, but he wouldn’t listen. That’s when she reached out to me for support.”Help! My ex won’t leave me alone! What can I do to make him stop?”

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You Really CAN Find Love Online

ONLINE DATING Most women I speak with have given up on online dating due to a lack of success. If you’re a woman over 40 and you’re still single, let’s talk. Have you given up hope? Maybe you’ve heard so many horror stories about the liars, cheaters, and scammers online, you’re too frightened to even try online dating.

I understand. When I first started dating online after my divorce, I was confused and scared. It felt like I had entered a foreign land. Which site to choose? Is it okay for women to email men? How quickly do you respond to an email? When do you share your phone number and how long should you talk before meeting?

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First Impressions Are Everything: Here’s How to Make a Great One

first impressions Dating. For some, it can be a four-letter word. Others jump at the opportunity to date as much as possible. Whether you fall on one side of the spectrum or the other—or land somewhere in between—one thing is true, no matter how cliché it is: You never get a second chance to make a first impression. Recent studies show that first impressions are often made in an incredibly short amount of time, perhaps even less than a second.

The reality is (and everyone is guilty of this to some degree) that human beings are judgmental creatures. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as there are good judgments as well as bad ones, and understanding this can be to your advantage when meeting someone for the first time. Knowing that first impressions are made before you even have a chance to say a single word, take a little extra time on your appearance.

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Why Do Men Play Mind Games?

mind gamesHi Sandy,

I recently dumped a guy I had been dating for 2 months as it seemed he was playing mind games with me, and only wanted to see me when it was convenient for him.  I met him online and specifically noted in my profile I was not interested in any game playing.  I made it clear I was looking for a long-term monogamous relationship.

I’m 53 and he’s 55.  When he sent a smile/flirt, I wrote him back even though he’s not normally the type of guy I would even go for. I thought I would step outside my comfort zone.

We would have a great date one night, and the next night he would act very cold.  In person, he’d say things like, “I really like you a lot”, “I enjoy your company, we have fun together”, and “You’re really easy to talk to, it makes it very easy for me to buy you a gift”.  He mentioned things like how “hot” I made him, etc.  Then I wouldn’t hear from him for 4 or 5 days and most of the time in between, I was reaching out to him via text or phone.

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