Vision Board for Love

Posted by on January 13, 2011 in dating after divorce, single women over 40 | 0 comments

Are you tired of dead-end or heartbreaking relationships? Do you feel you’ll never find true love?

On Sunday, I had the pleasure of leading a vision board workshop for women who wanted to get clarity about the future of their love lives. When I say pleasure, I mean it in the truest sense. I love leading workshops because of the magic that happens when a group of people gather to gain a deeper understanding of themselves, and perhaps a new perspective on life.

As the women introduced themselves, I asked them to state the current status of their love life. Some had an active dating life, some were not dating at all. Most said that dating was hard, frustrating, exasperating. My goal was to help them change their perspective on dating, to renew their sense of hope in the possibility of meeting their true soul mate.

There were some pretty tough non-believers in the group. Arms crossed, with a suspicious look on her face, one group member came to the workshop with trepidation, with an ounce of hope that perhaps she might have a good experience. The morning of the workshop, she said, “I was reluctant about other things that you encouraged me to do, and you were right about how much I benefitted. Maybe this will be the same kind of experience. I will be open.”

After a brief guided visualization, the workshop attendees set out to tear out resonant words and images from the piles of magazines that I provided. Some brought their own magazines. The important thing to respond to was an emotional response. I encouraged the women not to overthink, just go with their gut.

Here are some examples from the workshop:

The central theme of this vision board was about putting herself first. This woman is a super-competent mother and highly successful solo-business owner. She takes exquisite care of everyone in her life, but doesn’t always pay enough attention to her own self.

As part of her quest for balance, she plans to let go of trying to control so much, and will make time to give back in more charitable ways. She is open to the road less traveled and plans to be a more fun mom. She recalled the wisdom of her father. When she was growing up, if she got a bad grade on a test, he would say, “Tomorrow’s another day. What have you learned from this experience?” I loved that and plan to use that philosophy with my kids.

This woman had suffered in an abusive marriage and has come a long way in the few years since her divorce. She is committed to living more fearlessly, taking more risks, traveling, and making real connections with men who are giving and loving in return.

She chose a picture of a loving family, which is what she hopes for. This is not just about finding the love of her life. He must be able to be a loving presence in her children’s lives as well.

This vision board is about the balance of love and romance with creativity, something core to this woman’s life. She chose beautiful images of women in wedding gowns that she loves, because for her first wedding she was more interested in practicality than beauty. She has made a commitment to taking better care of herself, paying attention to the values and needs that are important to her personal growth. She is looking for love that is ‘forever yours’, ‘real love’, one that is ‘not just a dream’, ‘having her cake and eating it, too’!

Not only did all the women have a great time getting to know each other, but they walked away inspired, with a plan to balance their lives and take better care of themselves. I am a firm believer that if we take care of ourselves, love flows our way. We are more giving, and thus more loving. Give yourself love,  and you will be open to giving and receiving more love.

Here is what some of the women were saying about the workshop: “We are all longing for inspiration from time to time, and this vision board for love was just what I needed. To think and vision what you actually yearn for was very liberating. Thank you for your wisdom.” Jill, Redding, CT

“Being able to visually express my goals and dreams helped me get a clear picture of who I really am and where I want to be in the near future. I liked taking a break from my busy life to work on ‘me’ for a change. With Sandy’s guidance, I created a vision board which will remind me of my goals on a daily basis.” Katrina, Old Greenwich, CT

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