9 Ways to Stay Positive When Dating Gets You Down
You’re over 40. What do you do when dating gets you down? Here are 9 wonderful tips to help you stay positive on the path to love.
What do you do when dating gets you down? You’re 40, 50, 60, 70 and beyond. You’re disappointed with your dating experience. You’re sick of men disappearing after a few online messages or even a few weeks of dating. WTH? Online dating doesn’t yield many high quality men, and you go on first date after first date with men who are boring or just plain liars. You’re sick of men showing up on a first date looking nothing like their photos. Maybe you’re so frustrated, you’re done with dating. You’re going to enjoy your life and spend more time with your amazing girlfriends.
I understand the frustration you’re feeling right now. It’s hard to stay positive when dating gets you down. But, if you don’t have the resilience to stay in the game, you probably won’t find love. And don’t you want love in your life? Deep down, we all yearn for love, but many of us are too afraid that we’ll never find it. So we shut down, because it’s better to be safe than hurt again…
How to Stay Positive When Dating Gets You Down
Please don’t give up on love. I’d like to offer some support. I heard an interview with my friend and colleague, positive psychologist, Maria Sirois, about “Rising After Heartbreak: Resilience in the Field of Love”. These are some key takeaways that might help you when you’re feeling stuck, sad, frustrated with men, when it seems like all men suck, or you’ll never find love.
9 Ways to Stay Positive on Your Path to Love
1. Notice any good in your life and put your attention there.
2. Make mindful conscious choices in every moment. You are at choice even when you feel you’re not.
3. Ask, “How will I make today a good day?”
4. Remember, this moment will shift.
5. Remember that life is so much more mysterious than we ever imagine. Everything that feels overwhelming and devastating in your life has eventually passed .
6. Look at life through the lens of opportunity. What can you learn from this situation?
7. Don’t let other people define your life experience for you. You get to be in charge of that.
8. Learn to be quiet with yourself every day, through prayer, meditation, a walk in nature. Go within and trust your intuition. It knows the answers to your problems.
9. Be playful and compassionate with yourself: Instead of feeling like you screwed up and how can life get any better, you can tell yourself, “Oh, there I go again…oh well!”, and let it go.
Please, don’t just read this article; put these principles into practice.
Listen, I have been through hell and back—the suffering and loss of my first child at the age of five, a 23-year marriage to a man with arrested development who did not know how to communicate or support me emotionally, and much more.
I don’t say this because I want your pity. I am resilient and happy in spite of what happened in my past, and I managed to keep my sanity throughout all the turmoil in my life. Why? Because I live by the principles above. Anyone can learn to be happier if they put these principles to work.
Let me know if you find this to be helpful. And I wish you the best on your journey to find the love of your life.
Above Photo: Pinterest