Hot tips, tools and dating advice

If you’re a single woman over 40, follow the blog to learn how to attract quality men, sustain a healthy relationship, break up with dignity, understand and communicate with men 40 +, and much more…

Share this!


20 Success Tips for Finding Love After 40

Posted by in dating after divorce, dating in midlife, love after 40 | 0 comments

finding love after 40

I’ve gathered the 20 best tips for finding love after 40…

There’s so much conflicting advice out there for finding love after 40, how do you make sense of it all? Do you listen to your best buddy? Your mom, dad, sister, brother? Which dating experts have solid advice, and which confuse you even more?

I’ve been coaching for ten years. My dating philosophy comes from many places; The Coaches Training Institute, where I trained and became certified, and the experts I’ve interviewed for the past four years on my radio show, Last First Date Radio.

I’ve learned from the multitude of relationship and dating books I’ve read, from my dating experience post-divorce, and from my beloved clients, who’ve taught me as much as I’ve taught them (if not more).

I’ve learned from the multitude of relationship and dating books I’ve read, from my dating experience post-divorce, and from my beloved clients, who’ve taught me as much as I’ve taught them (if not more).

I also learned so much from other dating coaches and therapists, those whose wisdom influenced me and inspired many of the tips I’m sharing with you today.


Special thanks to:

  • David Steele of the Relationship Coaching Institute, who taught me the value of being the chooser in a relationship, not waiting to be chosen.
  • Matthew Hussey, author of Get the Guy, who taught me the importance of being a high value woman and setting clear boundaries with men. (Same goes for men who value themselves).
  • Evan Marc Katz, who taught me many things, especially the importance of not putting people on a pedestal, because you can only look down on them.
  • My good friend and colleague, Bobbi Palmer, who taught me how to prepare for a first date and so much more.
  • I am also grateful to Alison Armstrong, Dr. Pat Allen, and LiYana Silver, who have helped me understand feminine and masculine energy and how they play out in relationships. They’ve also shared the secrets to how women and men can communicate most effectively in relationships.

To all these coaches and therapists and many others I haven’t mentioned—you have helped me become the coach I am today, helping women over 40 know their value, communicate with grace and power, and attract their best partner. Dating after 40 has some unique challenges, such as carrying around additional baggage and balancing parenting and dating.

There are many advantages to dating after 40, too.

We know what matters and can focus on the big stuff, not the minutiae.

We hopefully know ourselves better. We know what we don’t want and do want in a relationship. We know what matters most, and can focus on the big stuff, not the minutiae. And we’re truly capable of rich, wholehearted love, the best kind there is!


20 of My Best Tips for Finding Love After 40


  1. Date a few people at a time until you’re ready to become exclusive with one.

  2. When words and action don’t align, pay more attention to actions.

  3. The three most important elements of a partner are kindness, consistency, and character.

  4. Don’t make assumptions about your date. Learn about your date by getting curious.

  5. Don’t bring your past relationships to your present relationship or date. See each person as a clean slate.

  6. When a person first reveals him/herself to you, pay close attention. That’s when you learn most of what you need to know.

  7. If a woman has shown clear interest to a man on a first date, she doesn’t need to text the next day to remind him that they had a great date.

  8. Know your absolute must-haves in a relationship. Don’t sway from that list.

  9. If a woman wants a take charge man, she should stop making all the plans.

  10. You don’t need a perfect body and face to be attractive. Attraction is about confidence in who you and what you’ve got. Work it!

  11. Don’t invest more into a potential partner than they invest in you.

  12. Don’t put someone on a pedestal. They will only look down on you.

  13. Balance your heart and head, and enter a relationship with your eyes wide open. The character and values you see at the beginning are what you will get at the end.

  14. Women need to stop hoping they can somehow fix a man.

  15. Don’t waste time in a relationship with someone who doesn’t value you.

  16. Don’t plan the future before there’s a present.

  17. Each date is an opportunity to learn something about yourself and about dating. Have fun and be present.

  18. As grandma said, every pot has a lid. Don’t give up hope.

  19. Your self-esteem is equal to the quality of the person you attract.

  20. Be the chooser. Don’t go into every dating thinking, “I hope he/she likes me.” Go in thinking, “I hope I like him/her.”


What do you think of these 20 tips for finding love after 40? Do you agree? Disagree? Do you have any tips to add to the list? Please share below.

Note: This post originally appeared in the Good Men Project

Share this!

How to Move on After Divorce Without Bitterness or Regret

Posted by in dating after divorce, single women over 40 | 0 comments

after divorce

Check out my interview with Laura Richardson on Last First Date Radio about how to move on after divorce…without bitterness or regret.

Laura Richardson has been a licensed attorney in Texas for thirteen years, with a primary focus on family law.

In 2015, she transitioned from Lawyer to Life Coach. Her mission is to help clients find alternative solutions to their ongoing problems with their ex that are faster, less expensive, and more satisfying than going directly to the courthouse.

As a Certified Advanced Mediator, Ms. Richardson seeks to help people who are on both sides of the table feel like they had a fair chance to participate in shaping an agreement on how they move forward.

I interviewed Laura on Last First Date Radio about how to move on after divorce…without bitterness or regret. Check out highlights of our show below.


Share this!

The Secret to Being Irresistible on a Date

Posted by in dating after divorce, dating in midlife, love after 40, self-esteem in dating | 0 comments

Want to know the secret to being irresistible to a quality guy? Dating Coach, Sandy Weiner, reveals what she did this summer…

Are you tired of going on first dates that don’t lead to a second? Swiping right only to find out he’s married, into a threesome or some strange fetish? If you want to attract a quality man, you need to be a woman of value. A woman who values herself in all ways—that’s one of the secrets to being irresistible.

If you’ve had a stressful summer, it’s even more important to do what I’m going to suggest today. (more…)

Share this!

Help, I’m Dating a Widower!

Posted by in dating after divorce, dating in midlife, love after 40, understanding men over 40 | 0 comments

dating a widower

Is it a good idea to be dating a widower? Or will he always be comparing you to his late wife? 

Dear Sandy,

I am 62-years-old, and back in 2012 when I briefly joined eHarmony, I met a widower. I did NOT know exactly how to handle him. I learned a great deal and hung in there, but it was quite different. Fast forward to last summer when I joined eHarmony again and voila—I met another widower. I went straight to my minister, who said I would be alright dating a man who has been widowed for approximately a year. (There are some widowers who get on dating sites after three or six months.)
Just last week when I revisited eHarmony, I met another widower who lost his wife 14 months ago after a grueling illness. We briefly interacted, and he seems interested, but says that he is only seeking companionship, not even thinking of marriage. He also said that he wanted to know if I would consider moving (he is four hours away from where I live), because he loves his beautiful home that he and his wife built many years ago. YIKES….


Share this!

Mindful Practices for Breaking Through Love Blocks

Posted by in dating after divorce, love after 40, self-esteem in dating | 0 comments

Bex Burton helps you bust through love blocks to manifest your true love.

My radio guest, Bex Burton, talked about breaking through love blocks and opening to big love. As a Certified DreamBuilder Coach, Bex helps people design and manifest a life they truly love living. From a young age, she has manifested dream upon dream in her own life, including a marketing career in Broadway Theatrics, a Movement and Wellness company in NYC, and most impressively, her own true love story, which she conjured creating hula hoop performance art. (Yep, really! She shares this story on the show.)

Bex inspires audiences worldwide through live and online workshops, events and transformational in-depth coaching programs, designed to ignite the fire within you so that you may achieve new heights of success, purpose, and spiritual aliveness.

You can read highlights of our radio show below!


Share this!

Let’s Talk About Sex After 40

Posted by in dating after divorce, dating in midlife, love after 40, online dating after 40, single women over 40 | 0 comments

If you’re single and over 40, watch this video about sex after 40. Three top experts disclose the juicy stuff!

Sex after 40 is NOT the same as sex in your twenties and thirties. That’s why I got together with two other top experts on dating after 40 and made this video for you. Bobbi Palmer, of and Melani Robinson, of, and I talked about everything you need to know about sex after 40. (more…)

Share this!

How to Spot a Psychopath Before You Become a Victim

Posted by in dating a dangerous man, online dating after 40, red flags in relationships | 0 comments


A psychopath doesn’t just show up on Dateline. He could be on an online dating site, looking for his next victim. Don’t let that be you!

Author, Dianne Emerson, has become a bit of a psychopath expert. She created the first online support forum for victims of psychopaths over 18 years ago. She discovered many things from the victim’s perspective over the years and wanted to learn more about how psychopaths operate. 

After interviewing psychopaths through a comprehensive survey, she learned that they seek out a specific type, and people can be victimized several times over their lifetime. She wrote, Psychopaths in Our Lives: My Interviewsto inform the public about how they get trapped in relationships with psychopaths and  how to spot them before it goes too far. 

She joined me on Last First Date Radio and shared excellent tips on how to spot a psychopath before you become a victim. Highlights of the show below.


Share this!

How to Fight Fair: 3 Proven Strategies to End an Argument

Posted by in communication skills in dating, red flags in relationships | 0 comments

You don’t have to be afraid of conflict if you know how to fight fair. Learn how here…

Dr. Laura Louis has over 10 years of experience in helping distant couples heal after infidelity by building trust, cultivating intimacy, and enhancing communication. Her therapeutic approach has been influenced through worldwide training in Brazil, Mexico, London, and Haiti.

She has conducted hundreds of seminars transforming relationships all over the world . She is affectionately called the Marriage Architect. Her book, Marital Peace, is a valuable resource intended to support couples through the challenges of marriage.

Highlights below on our radio interview on how to fight fair, 3 strategies to end an argument.


Share this!

Dealing with Breakup or Rejection Like an Adult

Posted by in breaking up with grace, self-esteem in dating | 0 comments

dealing with breakup

Check out these 4 grownup ways for dealing with a breakup or rejection.

When you get dumped or turned down for a date in high school or college, you go through a lot of highs and lows. You may become irrational or depressed, and it can be difficult to know how to cope. But as we get older and gain more relationship experience, we grow emotionally and learn how to recover gracefully from a breakup or rejection without letting it consume our lives. If you’ve ever gone through this experience, you know how painful it can be. Nonetheless, there are many mature ways to cope with the disappointing, emotional roller coaster that is breaking up, allowing you to recover quickly and move on with your life. (more…)

Share this!

Turning Conflict Into Connection Through Conscious Love

Posted by in communication skills in dating, love after 40, understanding men over 40 | 0 comments

All couples argue. The trick is to be able to turn conflict into connection. Here’s how…

What’s conscious love? Imagine having the relationship you’ve always desired. After being stood up on her 30th birthday by her drug addicted boyfriend, Deborah Morehead was determined to figure out this relationship stuff. And she did. She is co-author of Conscious Love: Enlightened Relationships and Soulful Sex. And along with her 20 years experience as a therapist and her effective Happy Relationship Success System you will have the power to create your own happy, amazing relationship.

Deborah Morehead was my guest on Last First Date Radio, where she shared her thoughts on how to turn conflict into connection through conscious love. Check out the highlights below.  (more…)

Share this!