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If you’re a single woman over 40, follow the blog to learn how to attract quality men, sustain a healthy relationship, break up with dignity, understand and communicate with men 40 +, and much more…

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Let’s Analyze this OKCupid Email Exchange, Shall We?

Posted by on September 1, 2014 in communication skills in dating, dating in midlife, online dating after 40 | 0 comments

OKCupid email exchangeThere are all types of people dating online. The good, the bad, and the crazies. I encountered one of the crazies recently, but it wasn’t immediately obvious that he was immature, overly sexualized, and a lazy bum until we began emailing. According to OKCupid, this guy was 84% match/11% enemy. That’s based on their algorithms for matching people online. When he showed up in my weekly matches, I checked his profile. He was handsome, and I liked some of what I read in his profile, but not enough to send an initial email. However, he saw that I opened his profile, and about a minute later, I got this email… (more…)

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Dating After 50: Upgrading Your Style and Technology

Posted by on August 29, 2014 in dating in midlife, online dating after 40, single women over 40 | 0 comments

dating after 50There are some things about dating that will never change – no matter your age. You still have to figure out who you are attracted to and where to find them. On the other hand, there is a lot about the dating world that has changed if you’re dating after 50.

Technology, especially the Internet and smartphones, has transformed every aspect of our lives over the past 20 years, and that includes dating and relationships. It wasn’t all that long ago where if you met someone, you’d have to make that dreaded call, hoping the person on the other end would be as excited as you were. Today, interest is often expressed using a slightly less invasive option, a text message or dating site, which means if you don’t already have the latest smartphone, it’s probably time to make that upgrade. Also, make sure that your phone is fast enough to keep up with the latest apps and websites. (more…)

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How Do I Deal With a Deadbeat Dad?

Posted by on August 28, 2014 in dating a dangerous man, dating a narcissist, self-esteem in dating | 0 comments

deadbeat dadDear Sandy,

I have a 14-month old baby girl with a man who left when she was only 6-weeks old. I wouldn’t agree with him on certain things, and he was hurtful, cruel, and very vindictive. He came back when she was 6-months old. But now he’s moved out and left me with the baby again to chase success and the millions he says he’s going to make. Of course he blamed the parting on me. I now know better than that. I know now that this is a good thing, but I’m so sad for our daughter. Before he left, he admitted that he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and ADD. He has no compassion nor empathy. How do spend the next 18 years dealing with him coming in and out of our life? I tried being kind and nice so we wouldn’t fight. I even asked him to sign over his right to her so I wouldn’t have to go back and forth with him, but of course he said no. How do I deal with a deadbeat dad for the next 18 years?

Thank you,

Lucia (more…)

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Midlife Dating Can Be Fun and Exciting

Posted by on August 27, 2014 in dating in midlife, love after 40, online dating after 40 | 0 comments

midlife datingSo you’ve reached the age where chocolate hearts are viewed as nothing more than weight-increasing demons. Your last spark of hope for eternal romance left you somewhere around page 33 of the “finding love for older women” self-help book your friend lent you, and dating is like shopping for socks—something you do only when absolutely necessary.

But don’t let midlife dating get you down just yet. The fact remains that many people are successfully dating later in life. A 2003 AARP survey of 3,501 single men and women ages 40-69 showed that 63 percent were actively dating. And being practical isn’t always the best way to find love after 40. I suggest you try out romance one more time. Here’s how: (more…)

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What to do When He Suddenly Stops Calling

Posted by on August 26, 2014 in communication skills in dating, dating in midlife, red flags in relationships | 0 comments

he suddenly stops callingDear Sandy,

I am recently widowed and met a nice man.  I had been sexually deprived because of my husband’s lengthy illness, so I had sex with this man on the second date.  After three months of fun and great sex he suddenly stops calling.  I realize he was obviously not that into me; however, I would like him to tell me what happened.  Should I contact him?  He owns a piece of my heart and I am trying to move on.

Thank you,

Heidi (more…)

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Shift Your Perspective to Find Hidden Beauty

Posted by on August 25, 2014 in dating in midlife, self-esteem in dating, single women over 40 | 0 comments

shift your perspectiveFive years ago, I penned my first blog. It was called “Express Your Essence”, daily reflections of my life as a life coach and newly divorced single mom. The following post was written in September 2009, right after the Rosh Hashanah holiday. Although my belief in God and religion is often in flux as I try to make sense of the spiritual world, the overall sentiment of the article still rings true for me. I wanted to share it with you, and I’d love to hear your thoughts. (more…)

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Gratitude Makes You a Better Dater

Posted by on August 24, 2014 in dating in midlife, first date success, single women over 40 | 0 comments

gratitudeI’ve been hobbling around on one foot for a week and thinking a lot about gratitude. It all began last Sunday, after a first date with someone I met online. He took the train from Manhattan to meet me at a lovely restaurant near me. We sat for about two hours, dining al fresco on a gorgeous Summer afternoon. As I began walking towards my car, my left foot cramped up. I thought it was a fleeting thing and would work itself out by the time I got home. So, I made plans to take a walk with a friend, but my foot just kept getting worse. Our walk lasted about 10 minutes, as I limped around the block and collapsed on my coach. “What’s going on with my foot?” I thought. This is weird. I thought I’d sleep on it and all would be good in the morning. (more…)

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Why Power Couples Are a Myth

Posted by on August 22, 2014 in love after 40, self-esteem in dating, single women over 40 | 0 comments

power coupleLena L. West is the leading expert on how women entrepreneurs can monetize social media. She is also the Founder of, the home of the Influence Expansion Academy, the only social media mastermind program created specifically for women entrepreneurs. Lena spoke with me about why power couples are a myth this week on Last First Date Radio. Can two powerful people coexist in a relationship? Is competition destructive to a romantic partnership? How important is it for a powerful businesswoman to tap into her feminine self with her man? Following are loosely transcribed highlights of our radio show.  (more…)

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What NOT to Say When Your Feelings Are Hurt

Posted by on August 21, 2014 in communication skills in dating, dating in midlife, understanding men over 40 | 0 comments

your feelings are hurt

Don’t you wish you always knew just what to say when someone you’re dating or in a relationship with hurts your feelings? I used to have two basic modes of communication: shut down or get defensive. Neither method is very effective. I had no idea how to express my hurt feelings without turning a man off. I had the same issue in my non-romantic relationships. Whether it was with a family member, a friend, or my boss who wrongly accusing me of something, I would be at a loss for the right words to say. I knew what I didn’t want to do – yell back or just slink away in silence. What I yearned for was to remain connected and empowered, feel heard, and be open for feedback. After studying communication skills for a decade, I’ve finally learned how to effectively express hurt feelings. I’ve also learned what NOT to say when your feelings are hurt.


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Do You Love Yourself First?

Posted by on August 20, 2014 in dating in midlife, love after 40, self-esteem in dating | 0 comments

love yourself firstLove yourself first? The first time I read about the importance of self-love, I didn’t buy into the concept. We’re living in the “me” generation. Don’t we have enough navel gazing? Isn’t our society saturated with enough narcissists? What’s up with all this self-love? We were taught to be humble. “Don’t talk about yourself.” “Be nice to others and put yourself last.” Those were the messages of my childhood, and I’ll bet you can relate. So, why must you love yourself first before attracting a healthy romantic partnership? (more…)

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