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If you’re a single woman over 40, follow the blog to learn how to attract quality men, sustain a healthy relationship, break up with dignity, understand and communicate with men 40 +, and much more…

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Why Gratitude Makes You Sexier

Posted by in dating after divorce, love after 40, self-esteem in dating | 0 comments

gratitudeInstead of blaming your ex for your struggles, focus on gratitude for the gifts of your relationship.

Thanksgiving in the United States means…long lines at Costco and Trader Joe’s, turkey, cranberry sauce, gravy, sweet potato pie with marshmallows on top, green bean casserole, and pumpkin pie, delays at the airport, traffic jams, and family tension.

Thanksgiving is also about giving thanks. It’s about gratitude. Having a gratitude practice – on Thanksgiving and every day – can help you get through the tough times in your life.

“Gratitude always comes into play; research shows that people are happier if they are grateful for the positive things in their lives, rather than worrying about what might be missing.”

— Dan Buettner

I can put things into perspective because I have a daily gratitude practice.

As I think about recent national and international crises, my heart breaks. And the issues I’m dealing with in my life pale in comparison. I can put things into perspective because I have a daily gratitude practice.

The first thing I do when I wake up is say “Thank you.”

Thank you for the gift of another day, for my healthy body and mind, for my wonderful children, my amazing clients. The list changes slightly from day to day, but gratitude is always the first thing on my mind.


Why is gratitude so important?

Life can be challenging. Things happen—a large bill for home or car repairs, a disgruntled client or boss, a child going through a tough time. And then there are larger, more devastating challenges—a scary medical diagnosis, or the tragic loss of someone you love.

How do you view your challenges? You don’t get to choose the crisis, but you do get to choose how you process it.

You don’t get to choose the crisis, but you do get to choose how you process it.

When you are grateful for what you DO HAVE rather than focusing on what you don’t, you can deal much better with whatever comes your way. You life become richer every time you manage a crisis with grace. And that’s sexy.


Gratitude helps in life and love

Ever been on a date with someone who was fuming at her ex for leaving her financially ruined? Exhausting, right? She is stuck in blame, which is a crappy place to be, for her and for anyone she dates.

Sure, it can be difficult to heal from a divorce or the breakup of a long-term relationship. But you have a choice as to how you process it. Instead of blaming your ex for your struggles, focus on gratitude for the gifts of your relationship.

Yep. If you have children born of that union, that’s the greatest gift of all. Maybe your ex taught you the importance of setting boundaries in future relationships. Perhaps he or she taught you the importance of good communication in a relationship.

Gratitude is sexy

You know what’s sexy? When a person takes responsibility for what they learn in life’s toughest moments, that’s attractive and very sexy. When a person is grateful for what they have, that’s sexy.


A Gratitude Practice

You want to be sexier? Develop a gratitude practice. I’ll start with my list of five.

My gratitude list

  1. My healthy, gorgeous, talkative 17-month old granddaughter
  2. My 3 wonderful, thoughtful, kind, beautiful children
  3. The amicable relationship I’ve developed with my ex-husband
  4. My inspiring clients who are attracting the loving relationships they deserve
  5. My ability to do work that I love, work that makes a positive impact on the lives of others

Wishing you and your family a gratitude-filled, loving, and very Happy Thanksgiving!

Please share your top 5 gratitude list in the comments below.


This article appeared in The Good Men Project

Photo: Flickr/Evelyn Lim

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5 Steps to Manifest the Love You Want

Posted by in communication skills in dating, love after 40, self-esteem in dating, single women over 40 | 0 comments

manifest love

Isabelle Rizo is a remarkable young woman. And I mean young…she’s in her early twenties, and she is wise beyond her years. She skipped college (yay, college is NOT for everyone), and founded The Bellavie, a company devoted to helping entrepreneurial women who “want to live beautiful lives by starting businesses that allow for more travel, freedom, and creativity.

She’s about to start a new venture, which has yet to be announced, and I’m sure it will be a success. I hired Isabelle to help me launch my online courses. And what I got was more than I bargained for. We became friends, kindred spirits. She helped me with business, and I helped her with the love business!

When Isabelle announced that she was no longer single, I jumped at the opportunity to share her story of how she manifested love into her life. We ‘blabbed’ about it this week. (more…)

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The Ups and Downs of Online Dating

Posted by in online dating after 40, self-esteem in dating, single women over 40 | 0 comments

online dating

Lauren Urasek is a science geek turned makeup artist in her mid-twenties. With more than 15,000 four- and five-star ratings, an average of 35 messages per day, and hundreds of thousands of profile views from interested suitors, Lauren was dubbed “the most popular girl on OKCupid” by New York magazine. After being inundated with online dating messages, she began to document them in her Tumblr. 

I spoke with Lauren on Last First Date Radio about her new book documenting her journey through online dating in The Ups and Downs of Online Dating from the Most Popular Girl in New York City. I’ve posted highlights of the show in today’s blog.


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5 Red Flags to Avoid When Dating After 40

Posted by in dating a dangerous man, dating a narcissist, dating in midlife, online dating after 40, red flags in relationships | 0 comments

red flagsTechnology is ever-changing, and it’s a challenge to keep up with all the new social media tools out there. Most people my age are not even comfortable with Facebook—forget about Twitter and Google plus, Pinterest and Instagram!

I love learning about the latest in technology, and I’ve been intrigued by a new social media platform called Blab, defined as “a place to watch, join, and interact with live conversations about the topics that matter most to you.” It’s like a public Skype with up to four screens streaming live at the same time. Anyone can join and ask questions in the live chat. It’s super cool, and the quality is excellent.

I thought it would be a fantastic platform for sharing my message about smarter dating to a wider audience. So, I invited my good friend and colleague, Bobbi Palmer, CEO of Date Like a Grownup, to co-host a blab with me about the 5 dating red flags every woman over 40 should know before they get involved. (more…)

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Divorce Support and Valuable Insights

Posted by in breaking up with grace, dating after divorce | 0 comments

divorce supportGreg Frank is the Co-Founder & CEO of DivorceForce provides a safe and supportive community for anyone to navigate all aspects of divorce.

It’s a place where people can find each other in similar situations – geographically, socially and financially. People come to DivorceForce to ask advice, educate, find independent views and share experiences – both professional and personal.

DivorceForce assists you during a divorce and will enrich your life at the end of the process with tools, support, valuable insights and new friends.

Greg was my guest on Last First Date Radio, where he shared valuable advice about how to obtain divorce support: before, during, and after. Highlights of our show below.


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Why Does She Attract Closeted Gay Men?

Posted by in dating after divorce, dating in midlife, red flags in relationships | 0 comments

Dear Sandy,

I listen to all of your podcasts and LOVE them!  They have been extremely helpful to me as I have been navigating the online dating world for a while now, searching for my mate who I know is out there we just haven’t connected physically yet!  So, THANK you for your wonderful advice, sharing your experiences, and hosting interviews with extremely high caliber, professional guests.

I do have a request or suggestion for a topic that I would like for you discuss.  I have been on several dates and/or started relationships with men who I later found out were in the closet (gay).  Actually, the warning signs were there when I first met these men, but I tried to dismiss them in my mind because how can you be 100% sure? I had lack of proof, and some men I guess may have effeminate characteristics and not be gay.  I feel that even if they are not gay, they have strong feminine qualities that I am not attracted to.  But this scenario is extremely frustrating for me and I’m struggling to know why I attract closeted gay men and how I can stop attracting them?



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3 Reasons Why Dating Sucks After Divorce

Posted by in dating after divorce, dating in midlife, first date success | 0 comments

dating sucks after divorceLet’s explore why dating sucks after divorce and what you can do to find love again.

I got this message on Twitter this morning: “1st date since my divorce was an utter disaster, never doing this again. I think I’m better off with my books and movies.”

My response: “Give up after one date? If you read one bad book, would you never read again? If you had one bad job, would you never work again?”

Dating after divorce can be frustrating, but there are good people out there. So, why does dating after divorce suck? Why can’t you find a decent person to date? Or if you found one, why doesn’t it work out?

A: You’re dating people who are not a good fit. There are going to be way more people who don’t work out than people who do.

Dating is all about trying people on and seeing if they fit, learning from the experience, rinsing and repeating. If you’re searching for lasting love, all it takes is one. Everyone else is a detour along the way to love.

B: You’re saying or doing something that’s killing attraction (without even realizing it). Let’s explore option B. We’ll look at why your dating life sucks, and what you can do to find love again after your divorce. (more…)

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The Number One Reason Successful Women Are Single

Posted by in dating after divorce, dating in midlife, red flags in relationships, self-esteem in dating, single women over 40 | 0 comments

successful women are single

Why are so many smart, strong, successful women single? Dating coach, Lisa Schmidt, reveals the number one reason. 



Lisa Schmidt is a certified dating coach and a regular contributor for Singles Warehouse Dating Group, The Huffington Post and Elite Daily. She helps men and women who feel lost in dating, do something about it. She helps them figure out what’s holding them back, and move forward without obstacles, doubt or a mindset of fear. You will be the person you want to date and know how to attract and sustain the relationship you desire.

Lisa was my guest on Last First Date Radio, where she shared The Number One Reason Strong Successful Women Are Single. Check out highlights of the show below.


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Better Communication for Authentic Relationships

Posted by in communication skills in dating, dating after divorce, red flags in relationships | 0 comments


I am the proud host of Last First Date Radio. I can’t believe I’ve taped 179 episodes! I’m honored to have interviewed top colleagues in the field of dating and relationships in midlife. As much as I love being a host, sometimes it’s nice to sit on the other side of the table, as a guest on other peoples’ podcasts.

Last week, I was a guest on the Better Human Show with David Rachford. I spoke with David about how to communicate better for more authentic relationships. We went deep. I revealed what inspired me to became a dating coach, my biggest fear in divorcing, and how my life has transformed since my divorce. I even talk about an ex boyfriend and what I learned from that relationship!

We covered many topics such as:

  • When to start dating after divorce
  • How to talk about feelings and needs
  • How to spot red flags in new relationships
  • Is it ever okay to ask your date about his/her ex

You can listen to the episode by clicking on this link. It will take you to the iTunes page of the show. Click ‘view in iTunes’. Then click on episode 008 to listen in.

Please leave a comment below and let me know your favorite parts of the show.

Click here to rate/review/subscribe to the Last First Date Radio show. Thanks for your support!




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It’s Never Too Late to Believe in Love

Posted by in dating in midlife, love after 40, self-esteem in dating | 0 comments

believe in love

Don’t give up on love! D.D. Marx has written a beautiful love story to help awaken the heart to believe in love again!


D.D. Marx is a contemporary romantic fiction writer, blogger, and a lover of all things social. D.D. is a graduate of the University of Dayton as well as the Second City program in Chicago, where she currently resides. A proud aunt and self-described hopeless romantic, Marx has always had a knack for humorous and engaging storytelling. Her pen name is a dedication to her beloved friend Dan, who continues to guide and inspire her in her daily life.

Following are highlights of our recent interview about her new book, Beyond Believing: an Inspiring Story to Awaken the Heart.


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