Hot tips, tools and dating advice

If you’re a single woman over 40, follow the blog to learn how to attract quality men, sustain a healthy relationship, break up with dignity, understand and communicate with men 40 +, and much more…

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How to Find and Keep a Good Man

Posted by on September 1, 2015 in first date success, love after 40, online dating after 40, single women over 40 | 0 comments

how to find and keep a good manAshley Arn is happily married and passionate about helping others experience the joy that comes from sharing a deep connection with your partner. She has earned a Bachelor and, Master of Arts degrees specializing in Marital and Family Therapy, and a Doctorate in Psychology, all of which require extensive training and experience working with people to create loving relationships. Ashley’s experience in relationship psychology and deep understanding of successful matchmaking make her an ideal relationship guide for you. Ashley wants to build a connection with you so that she can help you find that special someone to share your life with.

Ashley was my guest on Last First Date Radio. She spoke about How to Find and Keep a Good Man. Below are loosely transcribed highlights of the show.


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Self-Care is Crucial When You’re Looking for Love After 40

Posted by on August 31, 2015 in dating after divorce, dating in midlife, love after 40, self-esteem in dating | 0 comments

self-careIn my last newsletter, I spoke about the importance of self-care, especially if you’re dating after 40. If you’re anything like me, you grew up with the belief that self-care is selfish. The message in my home was, “Care for others before caring for yourself”. While I’m an advocate for giving to others, if you don’t give to yourself first, you will often be running on empty. Everyone gets a piece of you except YOU.

When you’re dating, self-care is even more crucial. In caring for yourself, you are modeling how you want to be treated by your future romantic partner . If you put yourself at the bottom of your to-do list, you may as well be wearing as sign that says, “Treat me as an afterthought”. Take exquisite care of yourself and model what you want from your partner; to be cherished, loved, and prioritized.  Don’t you want to date someone who takes care of themselves, too?

I asked my newsletter readers to share 3 things they do to for self-care. I loved their responses. My readers are self-care superstars! Here’s what they had to say… (more…)

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How to Quickly Identify if There’s a Lasting Love Connection

Posted by on August 28, 2015 in dating after divorce, dating in midlife, first date success, love after 40 | 0 comments

lasting love Have you ever felt like you wasted precious time dating the wrong person? It can be difficult to know whether you should give him/her more time to see if there’s a lasting love connection. Most of us struggle with this issue. We spend too little time with the right people and too much time with the wrong ones.

Why? It could be because you don’t know the essential qualities to look for, the must-haves that you absolutely need in a partner in order to have the lasting love connection you’re seeking. But…what if it was easy to quickly identify if there is that lasting love connection? I’m sharing an exercise that can help…



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Cultivate Your Relationship by Creating Unique Customs

Posted by on August 26, 2015 in love after 40 | 0 comments

cultivate your relationshipWhen does a romantic relationship jump from being casual to serious? Do you stop saying “hello” when you answer the phone and just pick up the conversation where you last left off? Do you stop calling it a “date” and start calling it “dinner”? When do you start tracking the milestones?

No matter what the status of your relationship, you know the moment where everything changes — where it stops being “me” and “you” and starts being “we.” From that point on, you’re working to build a future together and trying to enrich your relationship with customs and traditions that are all your own. The best of these are born naturally out of your relationship — your common interests and favorite places — but there also are ways to create meaningful ones that you can share for a lifetime. Here are just a few ways you can cultivate your relationship by creating unique customs. (more…)

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Midlife Marriage: Prenup or No Prenup?

Posted by on August 25, 2015 in dating after divorce, dating in midlife, love after 40 | 0 comments

prenup or no prenupAuthor, Speaker and Lawyer for men David Pisarra is an internationally recognized authority on Fathers and Men’s Rights. He is a sought-after speaker on what men need to know about Family Law and protecting themselves and their relationships with their children.

He is currently filming a documentary about men who are victims of domestic violence called, What About The Men?

I’ve transcribed highlights from our radio interview on Last First Date Radio, where David Pisarra spoke about whether you need a prenup or no prenup when marrying in midlife.


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If He Wants to Break Up, Why Is He Still Sleeping With Me?

Posted by on August 24, 2015 in breaking up with grace, dating a dangerous man, red flags in relationships, self-esteem in dating | 0 comments

why is he still sleeping with me Dear Sandy,

I was dating a guy—he’s 53-years-old and I’m 33. Yes, there’s a big age gap, but I fell in love with him. We always enjoyed our time together. I thought we could have a serious romantic relationship. One day, I received an email from him saying he is not ready for a real relationship. I tried so hard to change his mind. He said his main priorities right now are his health and his job. I already invested so much in him, and at the end he tells me he is not ready? I can’t figure out why he said this. He was so nice to me the whole time. How could he drop me so suddenly? And just last week, I was at his place and we got intimate again. If he wants to break up, why he is still sleeping with me? 



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When She Said ‘No’ to Sex On Their Second Date, He Disappeared

Posted by on August 20, 2015 in dating after divorce, red flags in relationships, self-esteem in dating, single women over 40 | 0 comments

he disappearedThis article first appeared on The Good Men Project

Dear Houdini (my disappearing man),

Over the past year, I went on scores of first dates with men who talked about themselves too much (do I really need to hear about your genius grandson for the third time on a first date?). Men whose idea of first date conversation is ex-wife bashing, complaining about their dire financial situation, or talking about their aches and pains throughout dinner. Um, no, thank you.

Then, I met you on an online dating site. I was immediately drawn to your passion and zest for life, your keen intelligence and creativity, your manliness, and your sexiness. I felt alive with possibility! (more…)

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How to Drastically Improve Your Relationships

Posted by on August 18, 2015 in communication skills in dating, dating a dangerous man, dating in midlife, red flags in relationships | 0 comments

improve your relationshipsDeborah Morehead has 20 plus years of expertise in the business of helping people. She is a highly trained leader, expert therapist, and outstanding teacher. Deborah is the creator of the “Stop the Cycle: Sabotage to Success Relationship System.” This is an effective and efficient Relationship Methodology, pulled from her extensive education, tens of thousands of hours interacting with clients, twenty years professional experience, and her lifetime of personal experiences. Deborah has a unique gift of looking right into your heart, recognizing your core needs then helping you transform yourself and your relationships to what you desire. 

I was honored to have Deborah on my radio show, where she shared fabulous tips on how to drastically improve your relationships. Following are loosely transcribed highlights of our radio interview, From Embarrassingly Sucky to Amazingly Wow Relationships. 


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Dating in Midlife: Does Age Really Matter?

Posted by on August 11, 2015 in communication skills in dating, dating after divorce, dating in midlife | 0 comments

dating in midlifeJeff Zeth is a social worker, parent, coach, mentor, and musician. With 25 years of experience helping people change, he’s also just your average guy who figured things out, with the help of some wise teachers who challenged and inspired him. He’s a published author in the area of men’s issues and addiction, and he blogs at

Following are highlights of our radio interview about dating in midlife: does age really matter?


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4 Traits to Look for in a Romantic Partner

Posted by on August 7, 2015 in communication skills in dating, dating after divorce, love after 40 | 2 comments

traits to look for in a romantic partnerYou’re divorced, widowed, or recently broke up with someone. You’re ready to date again. But before you dive in head first, it’s important to know and understand what you want in a partner. You don’t want to get deeply into a new relationship only to find out you aren’t compatible in your values, habits and lifestyles.

If you understand what you want in a partner, you won’t waste as much time with the wrong partner. You won’t experience as much pain due to a breakup from a partner who wasn’t the right fit for you. To get you started, here are 4 must-have traits to look for in a romantic partner.






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