Hot tips, tools and dating advice

If you’re a single woman over 40, follow the blog to learn how to attract quality men, sustain a healthy relationship, break up with dignity, understand and communicate with men 40 +, and much more…

Share this!


Can These 36 Questions Make You REALLY Fall in Love With Anyone?

Posted by in first date success, love after 40 | 0 comments

Remember the viral Modern Love article about the 36 questions that will make you fall in love with anyone? Is it okay to ask them on a first date?


Arielle Ford has mentioned The 36 Questions That Lead to Love on several occasions. According to the study in the article, these 36 questions can make you fall in love with anyone. Arielle Ford says you should ask these questions of strangers on first or second dates. 

What is your opinion? Could it be too personal for date #2?  I recently had a first date with a new man. We had lunch, and for our second date, he wants to go to lunch or dinner again. 

Even though he is very handsome, my gut feeling says that he is still totally stuck on his late wife. She died eight years ago, but he wears his wedding band in his primary Match photo. What? When I confronted him about his photo, he was NOT defensive. He said that he wore his wedding band for five years after her death, and that he joined Match three years ago per his children’s insistence. 

In order to determine IF we are vaguely compatible, do you EVER recommend asking the 36 questions? He is also almost 70-years-old and wants to email or text and NOT have a phone conversation—even though we have already had a two hour first date. Oh, and he talked about himself the entire two hours. He only asked me one question about myself the entire time.  (more…)

Share this!

The No Nonsense Guide to Healthy Relationships After 40

Posted by in communication skills in dating, dating in midlife | 0 comments

How do you have a loving, lasting, healthy relationship after 40? Start with being a mensch and communicating effectively with your partner. Here’s how…

How do you have a loving, compassionate, healthy relationship after 40? My radio guest, Jamie Greene has so many important things to say about this topic. Raised in England, Jamie survived boarding school, endured disastrous relationships, excelled as an 80’s pop drummer, hobnobbed with Royalty, you name it… he’s witnessed it all. His Zen-like approach to coaching combined with his British sense of humor and refreshing straight talk, has built a thriving reputation as a licensed psychotherapist, teacher, mentor and trainer. He was cast as a real-life marriage therapist on the show ‘Marriage 911′ helping save a marriage on the rocks. The couple is still thriving, years later. Jamie was recently featured as Therapist and Life Coach to Brad Womack on “The Bachelor”.

Pretty cool bio, huh? Following are highlights from my interview with Jamie Greene on the no nonsense guide for women and men to truly understand each other.


Share this!

Am I in Another Emotionally Abusive Relationship?

Posted by in red flags in relationships, self-esteem in dating | 0 comments

Her boyfriend bolts when life gets complicated. Is this another emotionally abusive relationship? Yes, and here’s how she can put an end to it.

Hello Sandy,

I have been in a relationship with a man for six years now, and this is the second time he has broken up with me. The first time was almost a year ago. He said he left me because of my daughter and her issues. I feel as though he left for an old girlfriend who happened to come back into the picture around the same time. After not communicating for a month or two, I broke down and contacted him because I missed him. I think after she found out we were talking again, he moved back to his home. He insisted that he didn’t leave me for her, but because my daughter’s issues were too much for him. (more…)

Share this!

Why Do Men Disappear and Reject Me?

Posted by in breaking up with grace, communication skills in dating | 0 comments

men disappear

Ever wonder why men disappear? Whether it’s after a few texts or phone calls, or even a few weeks of dating, when men disappear, it sucks. Try this.

Dear Sandy,

I think I am in the beginning stages of a new man disappearing. We’ve only been talking for five days. Wednesday and Thursday he texted me all day long, he called me, sent kiss emoticons. Today, I didn’t hear from him until I texted him this morning. His replies to anything I sent were short, no emotion, certainly no kisses. We haven’t met in person yet, but I already felt spoiled by his attention. So, I straight up asked him if something was wrong because he seemed distant today. I got no reply. (more…)

Share this!

Back in the Dating Game: 4 Ways to Build Killer Confidence

Posted by in dating after divorce, dating in midlife | 0 comments


Dating after divorce, loss, or a breakup? Here are 4 ways to rebuild your confidence to help you succeed at finding true love.

Returning to singledom is undeniably terrifying. Entering the dating scene after years of being in a relationship or marriage can be like diving blindly into an abyss of dating apps, swipes, messages and multiple weekly meet ups.

Your secret to navigating this abyss is confidence and self-assurance (with a touch of humility). If you’re still working on your newfound confidence, fake it ’til you make it and take the following advice… (more…)

Share this!

How to Create Intimacy After Sexual Trauma

Posted by in communication skills in dating, dating in midlife | 0 comments

If you’ve been affected by any form of sexual trauma, it can be difficult to feel safe in a relationship. Here’s how to create intimacy and safety. 

Are you afraid of intimacy in a relationship? Sexual trauma—whether it’s rape, molestation, or even being shamed about your body, can deeply affect your ability to be intimate and vulnerable with your partners. This important topic was discussed on Last First Date Radio with my guests Neil Sattin, and his partner Chloe Urban.

Neil is a relationship coach, and host of the award-winning podcast Relationship Alive. He has interviewed many of the top hearts and minds in the relationship world, and synthesizes their wisdom to help you have amazing relationships. He and his partner, Chloe Urban, combine coaching, psychology, and healing work to help you overcome obstacles to connection and deep intimacy in your relationship. Their forthcoming book helps couples who have been affected by sexual trauma deepen intimacy, and their course, Thriving Intimacy, is a 7-week course designed to teach you the relationship skills that you never learned in school.

Highlights below for episode #239: How to Create Deep Intimacy, Especially if You’re Affected by Trauma.


Share this!

Best Texting Advice for Mature Daters

Posted by in communication skills in dating, online dating after 40 | 0 comments

Texting Advice

Learn the best texting advice for singles who are re-entering the dating world at 50, 60, and beyond. Discover when to text, what to text, and more.

Peggy and Richard Wolman are matchmakers and dating coaches for mature daters. I interviewed them on Last First Date Radio, where they shared their best texting advice for women and men re-entering the dating scene later in life. Texting is a whole new world of communication, and many mature daters have no idea how to navigate this confusing aspect of the dating scene. When to text? What to text? When NOT to text? I will share highlights of our show in a moment, but first, a little more about my guests. 


Share this!

9 Ways to Stay Positive When Dating Gets You Down

Posted by in dating after divorce, dating in midlife | 0 comments

Dating Gets You Down

You’re over 40. What do you do when dating gets you down? Here are 9 wonderful tips to help you stay positive on the path to love.

What do you do when dating gets you down? You’re 40, 50, 60, 70 and beyond. You’re disappointed with your dating experience. You’re sick of men disappearing after a few online messages or even a few weeks of dating. WTH? Online dating doesn’t yield many high quality men, and you go on first date after first date with men who are boring or just plain liars. You’re sick of men showing up on a first date looking nothing like their photos. Maybe you’re so frustrated, you’re done with dating. You’re going to enjoy your life and spend more time with your amazing girlfriends.

I understand the frustration you’re feeling right now. It’s hard to stay positive when dating gets you down. But, if you don’t have the resilience to stay in the game, you probably won’t find love. And don’t you want love in your life? Deep down, we all yearn for love, but many of us are too afraid that we’ll never find it. So we shut down, because it’s better to be safe than hurt again…


Share this!

How to Disconnect from Toxic Relationships and Foster Healthy Ones

Posted by in love after 40, red flags in relationships | 0 comments

Toxic Relationships

A life-altering car accident taught author David Chatfield how to disconnect from toxic relationships and inspired him to write a book on happiness.

After a life-altering car accident, author David Chatfield learned how to disconnect from toxic relationships. He gained greater clarity about how to live an authentically happy life. He shares his knowledge in his book, Taking Control: Cracking the Code to Happiness

David Blake Chatfield began his career as an attorney and manager, representing global companies, music artists and producers, motion picture and television writers, producers, actors, and editors. He currently has his own law practice where he serves as General Counsel in several diverse companies, is the managing partner of The United Music Group, a partner in C & A Management, and owns Chatfield Entertainment.

I loved interviewing David on Last First Date Radio about How to Disconnect from Toxic Relationships and Foster Healthy Ones. You’ll find highlights of the show below.


Share this!

Can You Train a Man to Make You Happy?

Posted by in communication skills in dating, dating in midlife | 0 comments

train a man

Are men like dogs? And can a woman train a man to make her happy? That’s the topic of this episode of Last First Date Radio with author, Steve Alten. 

Many women complain that they are unhappy with the way men treat them. That’s why I pose the question, can you train a man to make you happy? My radio guest, L.A. Knight (aka New York Times best selling author, Steve Alten), says yes; men are pretty simple, kind of like dogs. If you can train a dog to listen, can you train a man to listen, too?

In his new book, DOG TRAINING THE AMERICAN MALE, author, L.A. Knight hopes to entertain readers ‘while keeping the wolves at bay’. L.A.’s late father believed that laughter was the best medicine. He passed down his sense of humor and a lifetime of love and wisdom to share with the world.

While our radio interview got off to a tough start, including a caller who wanted help with her inter-species relationship with her cat (you can’t make this stuff up!), and Steve’s inability to call in for the first eleven minutes, there are some gems worth listening to. I’ve included some highlights below of our radio show, How Men and Women Think Differently in Relationships.  (more…)

Share this!