Blog

Hot tips, tools and dating advice

If you’re a single woman over 40, follow the blog to learn how to attract quality men, sustain a healthy relationship, break up with dignity, understand and communicate with men 40 +, and much more…

Share this!

Why You Shouldn’t Stop Dating (Even if You Think All Men Are Jerks)

Posted by on October 30, 2014 in dating after divorce, dating in midlife, love after 40 | 0 comments

you shouldn't stop datingI get it. Dating at this age can be very frustrating. Time after time, you get dressed up in your best “date outfit”, get your nails and hair done, apply your makeup, and put on a happy face. This time is different. This time, you’re excited.

Finally, after months of meeting boring or inconsiderate men, you’ve connected with an interesting, nice-looking, seemingly high-functioning guy. Your phone conversations have been wonderful. You begin to let down your guard and open up to him. You allow yourself to hope that maybe he’s the guy for whom you can finally close out your online dating profiles for good. You are excited for the first time in ages. (more…)

Share this!

Does Love at First Sight Exist?

Posted by on October 28, 2014 in dating after divorce, dating in midlife, online dating after 40, red flags in relationships | 0 comments

love at first sightDo you believe in love at first sight? If you look through online dating profile essays, love at first sight is still a fantasy. So many people over 40 believe that an ideal first date is when you meet for the first time, lock eyes, and feel butterflies. Your heart goes pitter pat and the chemistry is off-the-charts. Back in high school, that’s how most relationships began. As a grownup adult, we can do better if we know better. That instant chemistry is usually a sign of trouble down the road. Why? I explain in this video. (more…)

Share this!

How do I Find a Good Guy After a Marriage of Verbal Abuse?

Posted by on October 24, 2014 in dating a dangerous man, dating after divorce, love after 40 | 0 comments

verbal abuseThis article originally appeared in Better After 50.

Dear Sandy,

I’ve been divorced from Mr. Wrong for four years. I was verbally abused in my marriage and want to do better this time around. I’ve done some healing with a therapist and am now ready to find my Mr. Right. I’m only interested in dating men who are serious and commitment-minded, not players or those who are just looking for a fling. How do I quickly screen out the wrong men without being too judgmental and possibly overlooking the right ones? And how do I stop obsessing on whether he’s the “one” on every date?

Thank you,

Janet (more…)

Share this!

Don’t Wrap Your Life Around a Man

Posted by on October 21, 2014 in dating after divorce, self-esteem in dating, single women over 40 | 0 comments

wrap your life around a manWhen a woman abandons herself for her boyfriend, she is heading down a dangerous path. This is one of the most common mistakes I see single women over 40 make. Actually, it’s a mistake I see single women of any age make. I understand what it’s like to twist yourself into a pretzel for a man. I’ve been there. I was guilty of this type of self-abandonment for a man throughout my twenties. When I met a man I was very attracted to, I’d often give up my own needs for him. I’d drop plans with friends when he made a last minute date to see me. I’d keep my feelings and needs hidden, fearing that he’d reject me if he knew how I really felt. I wouldn’t let him know that I wanted to be exclusive, because I thought that would feel like pressure to him. As a result, I’d be anxious and feel devalued when I imagined he was seeing other women. I’ve spent the past 5 years studying what makes relationships work and how to make love last. Relationships are complex. There are many components to a loving relationship that lasts. But what I know for sure is that you must begin by first loving and honoring yourself. If you don’t know and appreciate your own value, how will he? So please don’t wrap your life around a man! This video that I filmed for Pink Wisdom tells you what to do instead. (more…)

Share this!

Why a Sukkah is Your Secret Path to Love

Posted by on October 14, 2014 in dating after divorce, dating in midlife, love after 40 | 0 comments

path to loveDid you notice a bunch of strange-looking huts springing up in your town about a week ago? Perhaps they have canvas walls with bamboo roofs. Maybe you’ve seen some with pine branches on top. A few are constructed of wooden panels. These temporary huts, or sukkahs, are built every year in celebration of the Jewish holiday of Sukkot. Why do Jews build these backyard huts? During biblical times, when the Israelites were wandering for 40 years in the Sinai desert on their journey from slavery in Egypt to the Holy Land of Israel, they couldn’t have permanent homes. The bible says Clouds of Glory protected them from harm. In gratitude for that protection, the Jewish people celebrate the holiday of Sukkot and dwell in these huts, or sukkahs, for seven days and nights. (more…)

Share this!

Confident and Sexy From the Inside Out

Posted by on October 14, 2014 in love after 40, self-esteem in dating, single women over 40 | 0 comments

confidence from the inside outConfidence is sexy and attractive. But so many women don’t feel confident because they are at war with their bodies. My radio guest, Nina Manolson is a certified psychology of eating coach and holistic health coach who helps women over 40 end their war with food and make peace their bodies. She works with women who want to create a healthy, positive relationship with themselves. She specializes in helping smart women make healthy choices consistently and sustainably in their busy lives. Nina shared how women can be confident and sexy from the inside out. Following are loosely transcribed highlights of our radio show on Last First Date Radio.

(more…)

Share this!

An Open Letter To The Man Who Left Me Because I Said No To Sex

Posted by on October 13, 2014 in breaking up with grace, dating after divorce, red flags in relationships, self-esteem in dating | 0 comments

I said no to sexThis article appeared today in Your Tango. Whether a man disappeared after a first date, after sex, or after two months, it can hurt. But it’s OK. Especially if you can learn from the experience. Here’s what happened when I said no to sex.

Dear Disappearing Man,

I want to thank you for waking me up. After going on so many first dates with men who were trying too hard, who were not strong, who didn’t have much of a personality, who had little depth or consciousness, you showed up with your passions, your zest for life, your keen intelligence, your manliness, and your sexiness. You awakened me to the exhilaration of being with a man who is not afraid to express his opinions. You seemed to be balancing your home life (great cook, loving dad) with your work life (moving up in your company, saving and planning for your future). You weren’t afraid to express a strong manliness and desire for my womanliness. And that turned me on. You woke me up to the possibility of having found the mature life partner I have been seeking since my divorce. (more…)

Share this!

Take Off Your Mask of Perfection & Unleash the Amazing YOU!

Posted by on October 13, 2014 in dating after divorce, dating in midlife, self-esteem in dating | 0 comments

mask of perfectionDebra Smouse is an Intuitive Life Coach, Writer and self-admitted Tarnished Southern Belle. She believes in order to live life the way you were meant to live, you must fall in love with the day-to-day activity of living. Aren’t you ready to lay down the shackles of perfection and become enchanted with yourself? Isn’t it time you release the shiniest (and sexiest) version of yourself and become the person you were born to be? Darling, it’s time to become smitten with your own fabulously imperfect life. Time to take off your mask of perfection and unleash the amazing YOU. Following are loosely transcribed highlights of my radio interview with Debra.

(more…)

Share this!

The Keys to Successful Midlife Relationships

Posted by on October 12, 2014 in dating in midlife, love after 40, self-esteem in dating | 0 comments

keys to successful midlife relationshipsI had the honor of interviewing John McGrail, PhD on Last First Date Radio. He is a renowned hypnotherapist, personal success and relationship coach, spiritual teacher and a leading media expert in personal improvement. Through his exclusive Synthesis process, he has helped thousands of people— clients and workshop students—bring lasting change, growth and transformation into every aspect of their lives, including the creation of life-long relationships. Dr. John’s expertise is often featured in national publications, on-line, and on radio and television programs across the country and abroad. His book, The Synthesis Effect, is receiving rave reviews. He resides in Los Angeles California. His websites are www.drjohnmcgrail.com and www.hypnotherapylosangeles.com. Following are loosely transcribed highlights of our radio show, The Keys to Successful Midlife Relationships.

(more…)

Share this!

Love Cycles: How to Make Love Last

Posted by on October 8, 2014 in communication skills in dating, dating after divorce, love after 40 | 0 comments

There’s a new book, Love Cycles: The Five Essential Stages of Lasting Lovethat outlines the 5 cycles of love. Author Linda Carroll writes about the key components that make love last. As a dating coach for woman over 40, many of whom have been unsuccessful at lasting loving relationships in the past, I was excited to learn about this book. Since my divorce, my quest has been focused on how to make love last. Why do so many relationships fail? And how do relationships succeed? As Linda Carroll says in this Huffington Post Live interview, couples cycle through many stages. If you can work through your issues, the end result is wholehearted love, which gives you the same high as new love, or the “merge” stage of love, when everything is exciting and almost perfect. I was honored to be asked to submit a video question for the author on this Huffington Post Live segment today. Please leave a comment below with your thoughts on how to make love last.

 

Share this!