The Empowered Guide To Communicate Effectively in Relationships

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Do you know how to communicate effectively in relationships? Sandra Fischer, communication expert, shares communication tips for successful relationships. 

My radio guest, Sandra Fischer, is a professional writer and consultant with a diverse background specializing in communications, people development and optimizing organizational effectiveness. She spoke with our audience about how to communicate effectively in relationships.

With 25 years of experience working for companies including Microsoft, Amazon and AT&T, her experiences have been as unique and broad as managing the homepage for Amazon.com to developing an online marketing campaign for a literary novel launch. 

Check out highlights below for episode #253: Expert Communication Tips for Successful Relationships with Sandra Fischer.

The Empowered Guide To Communicate Effectively in Relationships

What are the most common mistakes people make in relationships?

 1. People fail to listen well. It’s important to listen to understand, be patient, and tune into the person’s point of view. Your body language and tone of voice matter. Don’t play with your phone when you’re talking to a date or partner.

 2. People tend to want things to happen quickly in relationships. Impatience is often because of fear. When you operate from a place of fear, it’s difficult to be vulnerable and open. 

 3. People operate from old paradigms that don’t fit them anymore. Maybe your beliefs and paradigms come from your childhood or your first marriage. It’s important to step back and ask yourself, “Does this work for me anymore?” What used to work feels comfortable, but it’s ineffective. It’s important to take a positive look forward and create a better future for ourselves.

 4. We hold our relationships to a standard that’s unrealistic. It’s important to stop measuring relationships in unrealistic ways.

 5. We don’t know our own value enough, and we don’t tend to create our own self-love. Don’t expect someone to fill you up if you’re not filling yourself up first.

 6. People feel a need to be right and are less flexible. Be open. Do share your opinion and thoughts. But it’s also important to be open to your partner’s opinions as well, even if they differ from yours.

 7. People don’t understand how to provide what’s important to each other in a partnership.

What’s an exercise you can share to help people become better at listening?

Get some skills. Find resources, such as the Gottman Institute, to learn how to be better at listening and at relationships. Spend 5-10 minutes a day with your partner without technology and talk about your day. Each person gets five minutes, you look each other in the eye. And you sit with each other in that moment. 

This practice helps develop a sense of patience for one another and for the relationship to unfold in an organic way. 

What are important questions people should ask themselves before entering into a new relationship?

Understand what’s really important to you and define it clearly. Define what would create a fulfilling life for you in partnership.

Know what you bring to the table, and where do you need to do more work and invest in yourself.

Know what you’re ready for; Marriage? Dating? Putting your toe in the water?

Do you feel confident in your own life and can you meet your own needs? 

Where is your potential partner in their life? I created a tool called relationship reveal that provides good questions to ask.

If you know what’s important to you, talk to them about it and see if they feel the same way.

What are some good questions to ask when you’re getting to know a potential partner?

Be careful not to make it an interview or interrogation. Keep it light.

  1. What have you learned from previous relationships?
  2. What are you interested in?
  3. What excites you? 

How do you advise people to effectively communicate when their feelings are hurt?

Avoid blaming. Keep the conversation honest and real, and be brave enough to have the conversation.

For example, “I feel sad that the other night when I was trying to talk to you, you rolled over and went to sleep. Is there another way that we can communicate?” 

Find the right timing before having the conversation. When you think you have to have something resolved right now, it’s hard to resolve the issue.

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To order the Relationship Reveal Game: Get it on Amazon or at RelationshipReveal.com.

Working with the cards provides clarity about what goes into a successful relationship and a roadmap for your present and future together. With solidarity and rapport, you can understand how everything—whether it is shopping, sex, or skydiving—features into your lives.


Listen to the episode on Blog Talk Radio here.

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