Better Communication for Authentic Relationships


I am the proud host of Last First Date Radio. I can’t believe I’ve taped 179 episodes! I’m honored to have interviewed top colleagues in the field of dating and relationships in midlife. As much as I love being a host, sometimes it’s nice to sit on the other side of the table, as a guest on other peoples’ podcasts.

Last week, I was a guest on the Better Human Show with David Rachford. I spoke with David about how to communicate better for more authentic relationships. We went deep. I revealed what inspired me to became a dating coach, my biggest fear in divorcing, and how my life has transformed since my divorce. I even talk about an ex boyfriend and what I learned from that relationship!

We covered many topics such as:

  • When to start dating after divorce
  • How to talk about feelings and needs
  • How to spot red flags in new relationships
  • Is it ever okay to ask your date about his/her ex

You can listen to the episode by clicking on this link. It will take you to the iTunes page of the show. Click ‘view in iTunes’. Then click on episode 008 to listen in.

Please leave a comment below and let me know your favorite parts of the show.

Click here to rate/review/subscribe to the Last First Date Radio show. Thanks for your support!




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5 Ways to Survive – and Thrive – After a Breakup

after a breakup(This article first appeared in They say that breaking up is hard to do. It was difficult in your twenties, and it doesn’t get much easier when you’re over 50. The days and weeks after a breakup can take a toll on your mental and physical health. In extreme cases, the breakup can be physiologically similar to withdrawing from an addiction. So, yes, breakups are hard to do. But with the right tools, you can survive and even thrive after a breakup.

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Letting Go of Your Ex

letting go of your exEllen and Jim dated for six months. In the beginning, their relationship was wonderful. The attraction was strong, and they shared many common values and interests. By month six, Ellen realized there was one red flag she could no longer shove under the rug. Jim had unresolved anger issues, and his last outburst was the final straw. He wasn’t in therapy and didn’t think his anger was a big deal. If he wasn’t going to take responsibility for his anger issues, Ellen wanted out. She got together with Jim and told him it was over.

He was devastated and shocked. He said he didn’t see it coming, even though Ellen had discussed her concerns with him many times. He wouldn’t take “no” for an answer and began stalking her. He wrote her long emails, professing his undying love, pleading with her to take him back. Then he began to text her daily. His obsession with Ellen had the exact opposite effect than the one he intended. Ellen felt annoyed and unsafe. She told him to leave her alone, but he wouldn’t listen. That’s when she reached out to me for support.”Help! My ex won’t leave me alone! What can I do to make him stop?”

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What to Do When Your Ex Finds New Love

your ex finds loveWhether you left him or he left you, it can be upsetting when your ex finds new love  and you’re still single. Recently, my client “Doris” learned that her ex got remarried. Even though she left him, she was filled with many mixed emotions: Shock that only a short time after their breakup, he was getting remarried. After the initial shock, she felt joy for him, that he found a woman who seemed like his perfect match in so many ways. And she felt a sense of peace and affirmation that she had made a good decision by breaking up  with him. They were not a good match at all, which is why she left him in the first place. But when you watch your ex move on and find love, it’s easy to second guess yourself. Am I too picky? Why is everyone falling in love but me?

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How Much Is Your Relationship Costing You?

how much is your relationship costing you(This article was first published in Better After 50 September 4th.) My client *Annie has been seeing someone for about six months. If you’re imagining a hot romance, think again. The person she sees once a week is a warm, loving therapist. *Lisa is helping Annie get over an abusive ex-boyfriend.

Well, boyfriend is a bit of a stretch. Annie may have been in love with *Joe, but Mr. Hot and Cold was not in love with her. He sent her sexy texts and slept with her when she came to his place, but hardly ever made the 40-minute trek to see her. He bought himself $600 suits, but refused to pay for coffee or a movie. And Annie kept coming back for more.

They dated on and off for over a year. To complicate matters, they were co-workers. What began as a flirtation on an online dating site ended up causing Annie considerable emotional damage. Two years later, she’s still ruminating about why he broke her heart. She spends her evenings stalking his online dating profile. Her anxiety has led to a dependency on sleep medications.

How much is your relationship costing you?

When a person needs to heal from trauma from their past or any form of psychological dysfunction such as addiction, I recommend that they see a therapist, often while continuing to coach with me. Annie’s obsession with her ex is a form of addiction. That, combined with the negative experiences she’s had with most men in her life (including her father), are holding her back from opening her heart to a healthy loving man, someone who will treat her with the respect she deserves.

To read more, click here.

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