Turning Conflict Into Connection Through Conscious Love

Posted by in communication skills in dating, love after 40, understanding men over 40 | 0 comments

All couples argue. The trick is to be able to turn conflict into connection. Here’s how…

What’s conscious love? Imagine having the relationship you’ve always desired. After being stood up on her 30th birthday by her drug addicted boyfriend, Deborah Morehead was determined to figure out this relationship stuff. And she did. She is co-author of Conscious Love: Enlightened Relationships and Soulful Sex. And along with her 20 years experience as a therapist and her effective Happy Relationship Success System you will have the power to create your own happy, amazing relationship.

Deborah Morehead was my guest on Last First Date Radio, where she shared her thoughts on how to turn conflict into connection through conscious love. Check out the highlights below. 

Turning Conflict Into Connection Through Conscious Love

What does Conscious Love Mean to You?

Conscious love is really about living and loving from a place of choice. It’s about self-awareness, empowered actions that come from a place dedicated to pure love.

We all grow up in our environments and learn from our experiences. We end in unconscious relationships. I hep people to look at the patterns that they keep creating from an unconscious place. We meet our needs in ineffective ways. We cause damage to ourselves and others.

Is it really possible to turn conflict into connection?

Conflicts are opportunities to learn and grow within ourselves and within the relationship.

When we can hold that position, we’re able to stay more open to unconditional love.

What are the three steps to be able to take any conflict and help create connection through conscious conflict?

1. You have to have your own self-awareness. When there is conflict it’s that my needs and wants bump up against yours. That’s where we tend to get defensive and emotional. So, be aware of yourself. Recognize your feeling. Tune into them. 

2. Step into openness and curiosity. I have my perception and you have yours. There’s probably bits of truth to both pieces. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Don’t label. Stay in the benefit of the doubt place. Find out what was going on for them. 

3. Use a structure. I have a conflict to connection cheat sheet. One person stays in the speaker role, and the other person is listening. The person who is speaking uses “I” statements. When the speaker feels heard, you switch roles. Use this structure to build up muscles of going slower, understanding one another, and connecting. 


Listen to the entire episode here.

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