The Value Of Missing Your First Date

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first date

Ever have a disastrous first date? What happens on that date is not as important as the lessons you learn and apply on your search for true love.

Today’s guest post is by Bob Lancer, founder of the Love Method.

What happens on a first date is not important. Whether we end up with the man or woman of our dreams as a result of it doesn’t really matter. We are destined to find all the love we want in our lives as we live true to who we are and learn to love and respect ourselves and others unconditionally.

What is important is that we learn from each first date. Recently I had a first date set up with a very special lady whom I admire very much. We agreed on the place and on the time and I was very much looking forward to it.  Well, have you ever had a brain freeze without drinking something cold? Apparently I did, and boy was it disturbing. 

Despite the fact that we reviewed the time for our get-together several times before the big event, for some unknown reason I had the wrong time in my mind when the day for the date actually occurred. Now this date felt important to me and I was eagerly anticipating the experience. And then I received her text letting me know that she was there and I wasn’t! 

Imagine how I felt. You’ve been there. We all have. My anxiety level went through the roof. I felt hurt over hurting her. I felt very angry at myself. It just didn’t make sense. This is something that I really wanted and here I had sabotaged myself. In my heart and mind I believed that I had shattered her trust in me forever and blew the potential that could have been there.

The Value Of Missing Your First Date

So I did what we all eventually do when things don’t work out the way we want. I turned toward the lesson. What was it that I can learn from this?

I’ve been a practitioner, teacher, trainer, and coach in meditating for inner peace and power for many years, so I found myself able to let go of the stress and move into a zone of loving inner peace quite quickly. As I went into this deep inner state of harmony I found my consciousness presenting me with a clear message.

All of my stress had been based on a negative vision of myself and of my possibilities.

I was believing that I was not worthy of a relationship because I had blown this opportunity. I was believing that I was destined to be alone. I then realized that as logical as these thoughts might be, they were still imaginary. With that realization I was able to let them go and live in the peace and harmony of present, unimaginable awareness.  

Then my next realization occurred. I was fearful based on a belief in my dependency upon another person for my happiness. 

My lesson here was that I am human, and human beings make mistakes, and I don’t have to be other than who I am to find love, peace, happiness, health and prosperity.  In fact, the key to real peace and power is freely being who I am, authentic and real, kind, and naturally myself.

So the outcome of this situation turned out to be quite inspiring. 

I was able to recognize and release from a state of false dependency—or codependency—in my relationship life, and I found myself feeling love for myself and for the woman I disappointed, as well as faith in both of our potential to lead lives that we truly love.

And it turned out that she forgave me!


What’s your worst first date story? And what’s the lesson you learned from that dating disaster?

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