Why You’re Not Finding Love Online (And What You Can Do About It)

Posted by in dating in midlife, online dating after 40 | 0 comments

Ever wonder why you’re not finding love online? It’s probably because you’re making this huge mistake in your online profile.

Do you hate online dating? Ever wonder why you’re having so much trouble finding love online (or offline)? It’s probably because you’re making the number one mistake most people make in their online dating profile. I came across a personal ad on Craig’s list that illustrates the key mistake that most people are making in their profiles without even realizing it.

The following profile is a bit extreme, and you’ll quickly see why this woman is having so much trouble finding love. By studying her profile mistakes, you may recognize a few ways you’ve been unknowingly sabotaging your love life and discover how to improve your profile and attract in a quality man. Are you making any of these mistakes?

Last First Date

height: 5’10” (177cm)

age: 55

Are there any men left that are not into games, bat crap crazy, or just cheating on their wife AND serious about a relationship? So far NOT, haven’t found one yet and most likely on here won’t but have hopes the someone will see this posting and be true and for real.

It seems anymore that true love is joke to most and that love in general is as well, No, love is not dead in my heart, just need to find that right person that will spark it back to life, I’m not burned on love or a life partner yet, but getting there. I’m not looking for, as it was put to me before, a hookup, looking for something a little more real and genuine than that. Too old for games and have been burned by a relationship where he cheated and don’t need or want the games anymore.So If you are looking for real and for sure you are looking for an faithful woman, who has a vehicle, a means of support and has her own place to stay. get in touch. A picture would be nice and I will response with the same and no, I don’t need your phone number to speak with you right away, who knows I might be a crazy or something like that LOL.

I’m looking for a Friend first and take some time to get to know one another and see if we click. then we can move on from there. I enjoy hiking, day trips, I love big adventures out or just staying at home with that one special man. I love kissing and cuddling and holding hands in public. Looking for a man with similar interests who is looking for long term relationship. I want someone that wants me for me and not for how they think I should be, a friend, and If it works out, a lover and life partner. If you want to know more about me just write and ask… I don’t bite …well maybe just a little nibble.

Why She’s Not Finding Love Online (And What She Can Do About It)

Let’s analyze her online dating profile. Grammar mistakes aside (which are hard to ignore, but that’s not the focus of this article), she begins her profile by stating her standards. Or at least she thinks she’s showing her value by stating the following:

Are there any men left that are not into games, bat crap crazy, or just cheating on their wife AND serious about a relationship? So far NOT, haven’t found one yet and most likely on here won’t but have hopes the someone will see this posting and be true and for real.

A man who reads this is not going to say to himself, “Wow, that woman sure has standards. I’d like to date her. She’s definitely a woman of value.”

Nope. He’s probably going to think, “Hmmm…this woman has been hurt by men in the past, and she hasn’t moved on. She’s sharing her baggage, and that’s a big turnoff. She’s blaming her exes and pretty much all men for her inability to attract in a good guy. Too much trouble for me. Next!”

We’ve all been hurt and had our hearts broken. Stop sharing your baggage in your profile.

Many people have been cheated on, lied to, or ghosted. A true woman of value takes responsibility for herself, and learns how to recognize red flags early on in dating. She knows who to trust, and she balances her heart and head. She certainly doesn’t sleep with a man before they’re exclusive, and then blame him for leaving her.

She goes on to say:

I’m not looking for, as it was put to me before, a hookup, looking for something a little more real and genuine than that. Too old for games and have been burned by a relationship where he cheated and don’t need or want the games anymore.

Again, she’s stating what she’s NOT looking for.

No hookups, she’s too old for games, she’s been burned before, yada, yada, yada. If she’s looking for the real thing, she needs to learn how to recognize a quality man. That’s on her. Stop blaming men, and learn how to improve your man picker!

And then there’s this:

I’m looking for a Friend first and take some time to get to know one another and see if we click. then we can move on from there.

What’s wrong with looking for a friend first?

Absolutely nothing. Except that when you write it in an online dating profile essay, it stinks of distrust. She might as well be saying, “I don’t trust you. I don’t trust men. So, if you think I’m a cheap date, a hookup, or a sex buddy, think again! If you pass my friend tests and I learn to trust you, then MAYBE I’ll let you into my heart and MAYBE you can have sex with me.”

Of course you should develop a friendship.

Without friendship, a relationship will crash and burn. Do get to know one another as friends, But develop that friendship along with physical touch and intimacy. Balance your heart and head. If you go into the relationship guarded, you will never be able to find true love.

Make sure you know your must haves and deal breakers. And don’t let just anyone into your life. Know your value, and express it through POSITIVE actions and words. State what you DO want in a relationship, not what you DON’T want.

It’s also important to let a man know what you will bring to the relationship.

What will you do for him? This isn’t all give me, do for me, show me that you care. Relationships are a two-way street. For the right guy, will you bake your famous apple pie or give him a massage at the end of a long day? Will you be an amazing listener, a true supporter of his dreams? Whatever gifts you bring to the relationship, let him know.

There are many more mistakes in this profile, such as this line:

…and no, I don’t need your phone number to speak with you right away, who knows I might be a crazy or something like that LOL.

Now that you know some of the key mistakes people make in their profiles, what can you do to attract in the right man? Write an effective online dating profile! To learn how, check out the posts below.

And please leave a comment and let me know which mistakes you have made in the past in online dating. Fix those mistakes, and you’ll be amazed at the results!

Online Dating Success With the Catch Your Match™ Formula

Transforming Bad Online Profiles – From ‘Ow’ to ‘Wow’

What to Share on Your Online Dating Profile

 

 

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