10 Tips for First Date Success

Posted by in dating after divorce, first date success, single women over 40 | 0 comments

first date successToday’s post is by guest blogger, Joshua Pompey. He has been helping men and women succeed with online dating at a success rate of over 99% since 2009.  Learn more about Joshua Pompey’s coaching services here. I look forward to interviewing him on Last First Date Radio this summer. I was drawn to his tips for first date success because it echoes many of the points that my colleague, Bobbi Palmer, and I will be teaching in our ACE THE DATE telecourse. It’s coming up June 1st-8th, and it’s jam-packed with compassionate, down-to-earth, wise tips for making every date positive and getting asked out by the men you like. If you want to be in the drivers’ seat in your dating life, make sure to check it out, and sign up for this unique telecourse combining the wisdom of two of the world’s top dating experts for women over 40! 

10 Tips for First Date Success

A lot of men and women out there make the mistake of going on dates without any preparation whatsoever.  They arrange a date, meet up, and hope for the best.  While this may work at times, the truth is, dating is a skill just like anything else in life.  In order to ensure success, one should be fully prepared and equipped with the right knowledge, because the truth is, men aren’t all that hard to please.

In this article I am going to discuss 10 common traits that men look for when meeting a woman for the first time.  The more of these you follow, the more likely you will receive that coveted second date!

1.  Smile upon arrival.

As tough as men like to appear on the surface, many are just as nervous as you are when meeting for the first time.   A nervous date will make for potentially un-engaging and awkward conversation.  A warm and friendly smile will instantly help to disengage these fears, thus, starting the date on a warm and friendly note as well.

2.  Do not shake your date’s hand.

This is a date, not a business meeting.  A firm handshake creates a business like feeling to the date, when it should have a romantic feel.  Go in for a kiss on the cheek, and if that is out of your comfort zone, try a gentle hug instead.

3.  Don’t make your date feel as if he is on a job interview.

Be careful about asking rapid-fire questions, one after the next, in ways that make your date feel as if he is on the hot seat.  Let the conversation evolve naturally and over time you will be able to gage all the important information you are looking for.  The goal should be to have fun.  Not to check off your entire list of deal breakers within the first hour of meeting.

4.  Avoid questions that create pressure.

You may be in a rush to have kids, but if you make a man aware of this on a first date he may just be in a rush to leave, regardless of whether or not he wants kids as well. When guys feel pressured, they tend to get scared and run.

5.  Don’t be an open book.

As the old saying goes, people always want what they can’t have.  It’s cool if you like a guy, and even better, if you feel that instant chemistry that you haven’t felt in months, maybe even years.  But don’t verbally express this.  Show your interest through your body language, smile, and general attitude instead.

6.  Avoid talking about your ex.

When a woman talks about her ex on a first date, this immediately triggers the thought that she may not be over that person.  If it comes up organically or he asks, don’t be rude, but be brief with your answer, and then move on.

7.  Avoid small talk if possible.

One of the most frustrating complaints that guys who have been dating for a long time relay back to me is the monotony that dating brings.  Most people get asked the same questions every single date.  Try to be fun, playful, and creative with your questions. Discussing bad date stories often makes for great conversation.

8. Let him wave you off.

When the bill comes, reach for your wallet and offer to pay.  Nine out of ten guys will wave you off.  They don’t want your money.  But they do want to know that you are generous and not spoiled.  This is something a guy will remember long after the date.

9.  If you like him, kiss him!

It is 2014.  Don’t avoid kissing a man strictly on the principal of some unspoken rule about not kissing on the first date.  Kissing is a great determinant of just how much chemistry the two of you may actually have.

10.  Text him within an hour of the date.

If you had a good time, send a text message with a polite thank you for the date.  Ideally, you want to also add a little humor that relates to something you were both laughing at earlier in the date.  Combine a thank you, humor, and a smiley-faced emoticon, and you have the perfect triple threat end of night text.


What do you think of these tips? I agree with most, especially the overall message about being positive and flirty, not business-like, boring, or offensive. The jury’s out on tip number 10. I don’t believe in texting after the date. I believe a woman over 40 should thank the man for the date at the end of the date. Let him text you or call you next. Otherwise, you’re the take charge person in the relationship, which is a potential turn off to men.

Do you have any first date success tips to share? What helps you get called for a second date? Please share below.


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