10 Ways Women Emasculate Men (without even realizing it)

Posted by in understanding men over 40 | 3 comments

emasculate men

Women can emasculate men without even realizing it. Here are ten ways you might be emasculating men, and why it drives men away.

What does ’emasculate men’ mean? Dictionary.com defines emasculation as castration, but that’s not what we’re talking about here. I’m referring to The Urban Dictionary definition of emasculation: “…the removal of a male ego, pride, empowerment.”

Women are often unaware when they do this. They wonder why men get so angry, defensive, or shut down. A common example of emasculation is when a man is driving with his significant other. He turns left to get on the highway, and she says, “You’re going the wrong way. The back roads are faster.” She’s making him wrong and herself right, and this leads to a big fight. “But, I was just trying to help”, she says. By trying to help, she’s subconsciously trying to control him. He feels emasculated, because he now believes he can’t do anything right in her eyes. This can lead to the fracturing of many relationships.

Watch this video to learn how to stop emasculating men and create the loving relationship you want.

10 Things Women Do That Emasculate Men

  1. Withhold respect or kindness to motivate him to do better.
  2. Keep repeating how childish he is.
  3. Complain about his job or salary.
  4. Mistrust his ability to handle things on his own.
  5. Ask him for help, then tell him he’s doing it wrong.
  6. Nag him or boss him around.
  7. Treat him like he’s a neanderthal with no feelings.
  8. Compare him to her exes.
  9. Offer him unsolicited advice.
  10. Criticize how he spends his down time.

5 Ways to Stop Emasculating Men And Create Healthier Relationships

  1. Stop trying to control. Trust your man to figure things out HIS way.
  2. Look for the best in him. When you’re constantly criticizing his job, the way he drives, the way he does anything, he will feel defeated and shut down. When you focus on what he’s doing well, he will rise up.
  3. Don’t give unsolicited advice. Check in before advising.
  4. If you ask for help, accept how he supports you. Otherwise, he won’t offer to help again.
  5. Be direct instead of nagging. Tell him what you want and need, and then give him the space to provide.

Here’s my call to action: Identify the ways you might be unconsciously emasculating men. And then choose to take one step towards having the relationship you want.

If you want my support in finding the right partner for you, there’s nothing like group coaching to keep you accountable and give you dating tools that really work. The Woman of Value Club is my monthly membership group with a one-hour monthly topic-based master class about dating over 40, and a private forum for women to connect and share their experiences. All calls are recorded, and you get a free article and exercise every month to deepen the learning. Check it out and join here.

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  1. It’s so sad how wounded we are and how we behave in response to our woundedness. We can help eachother though, we’re not enemies and we don’t have to feel like enemies. Thanks for the article.

  2. @Chris, thanks for your thoughtful comment. I agree. It would be wonderful if we could see each other as allies instead of enemies.

  3. I agree. Men have disempowered women for millennia. No argument there. But, women have abused their newly found equal opportunities by unapologetically weaponizing ‘equality with men’ as a strategy to dominate them. By using their superior verbal skills, women strive to extinguish their past subjugation by molding men into obedient, soft-spoken, politically correct people-pleasers who are expected to work hard and be little more than silent ATMs. Modern men have been raised by mothers, girlfriends, wives and teachers to be invisible enablers who echo their female partner’s concept of what society should be. The goal of ‘happy wife, happy life’ has become the adult version of ‘be seen, not heard’.

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