12 Tips to Win a Guy Over (or keep him from leaving)

Posted by Sandy Weiner in dating after divorce, single women over 40 | 10 comments

How do you win a guy over? These 12 tips, from a man, will help you attract the right man and keep his interest.

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Want to know how to win a guy over? The best authority on what men want is – you guessed it – a man! I watched a video made by a man on how to keep your relationship alive and healthy. The delivery was crass, but the words were wise. I have paraphrased his message, because when men talk, I pay attention. There is much to learn, not only about keeping a relationship from falling apart, but also about the keys to attraction.

12 Tips to Win a Guy Over (or keep him from leaving)

1. Don’t listen to your single girlfriends’ advice. Especially if they’re unsuccessful in their relationships, your single girlfriends are probably giving you the wrong advice about men. Actually most people will give you bad advice about dating. Seek out the expertise of someone like a dating coach or therapist, as they will give you unbiased information.

2. Compliment him. How many of you are in a relationship for any length of time and have forgotten the importance of compliments? Doesn’t it feel great when he says nice things about you? Say nice things about him, too. It’s so easy to lose sight of the importance of acknowledging what’s great about each other.

3. Don’t try to change him. This is a biggie! So many people go into relationships with the thought of he’d be great ‘if only’ he’d be less messy, more spontaneous, more motivated, more outgoing, etc. This type of thinking is toxic to a relationship. I’m referring to wanting him to make core changes to his personality, not little tweaks, like updating his wardrobe or turning off lights when he leaves a room. You either accept him for who he is or find someone who has the qualities you want.

4. Know what your guy likes and learn it. If he loves football, make an effort to learn the game. Sit with him while he watches the Superbowl. He won’t expect you to love football in the same obsessive way he does, but you’ll get many brownie points for being willing to learn the game.

5. Curb your jealousy. If you start obsessing about every female friend or business acquaintance he has, you’ll most likely turn him off. You will come across as needy and controlling. As long as he doesn’t cross the line to inappropriate behavior, it’s okay for him to have female friends and appreciate other women.

6. Keep in shape.Eat healthy, exercise, and take good care of yourself. It’s easy to become complacent when you’re in a long-term relationship. Here’s my advice: take care of yourself for both of you. It has the dual effect of keeping him loyal to you and keeping you feeling good, inside and out. And the same goes for him – make sure you’re with someone who takes care of himself, too.

7. Stay fresh. Just because you’re in a long-term relationship, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t shave your legs, tweeze your eyebrows, and keep yourself smelling good. (Same goes for him, by the way). And every once in a while, buy yourself some sexy underthings. Surprise him, because that keeps the relationship sexy. 

8. Be spontaneous. Use your imagination. Take initiative. Go with the flow. Take some risks. Have fun. Relationships require some risk to keep things exciting.

9. Don’t tell long stories. Most women love to talk. Most men don’t love to listen to long meandering stories. They can’t follow. Tell those stories to your friends. Have meaningful conversation with your man, but make sure to get to the point so he can track how to respond.

10. Be open in the bedroom. Expressing what you want and need in bed is so important. Encourage him to do the same.

11. Be supportive. He has dreams. Support them. Even if you don’t believe in the practicality of his dreams. Let him figure it out. He needs a cheerleader on his side. Ask him to do the same for you.

12. Don’t force a guy to do what he doesn’t want to do.

Want to know how to win a guy over? The best authority on what men want is – you guessed it – a man! I watched a video made by a man on how to keep your relationship alive and healthy. The delivery was crass, but the words were wise. I have paraphrased his message, because when men talk, I pay attention. There is much to learn, not only about keeping a relationship from falling apart, but also about the keys to attraction.

12 Tips to Win a Guy Over (or keep him from leaving)

1. Don’t listen to your single girlfriends’ advice. Especially if they’re unsuccessful in their relationships, your single girlfriends are probably giving you the wrong advice about men. Actually most people will give you bad advice about dating. Seek out the expertise of someone like a dating coach or therapist, as they will give you unbiased information.

2. Compliment him. How many of you are in a relationship for any length of time and have forgotten the importance of compliments? Doesn’t it feel great when he says nice things about you? Say nice things about him, too. It’s so easy to lose sight of the importance of acknowledging what’s great about each other.

3. Don’t try to change him. This is a biggie! So many people go into relationships with the thought of he’d be great ‘if only’ he’d be less messy, more spontaneous, more motivated, more outgoing, etc. This type of thinking is toxic to a relationship. I’m referring to wanting him to make core changes to his personality, not little tweaks, like updating his wardrobe or turning off lights when he leaves a room. You either accept him for who he is or find someone who has the qualities you want.

4. Know what your guy likes and learn it. If he loves football, make an effort to learn the game. Sit with him while he watches the Superbowl. He won’t expect you to love football in the same obsessive way he does, but you’ll get many brownie points for being willing to learn the game.

5. Curb your jealousy. If you start obsessing about every female friend or business acquaintance he has, you’ll most likely turn him off. You will come across as needy and controlling. As long as he doesn’t cross the line to inappropriate behavior, it’s okay for him to have female friends and appreciate other women.

6. Keep in shape.Eat healthy, exercise, and take good care of yourself. It’s easy to become complacent when you’re in a long-term relationship. Here’s my advice: take care of yourself for both of you. It has the dual effect of keeping him loyal to you and keeping you feeling good, inside and out. And the same goes for him – make sure you’re with someone who takes care of himself, too.

7. Stay fresh. Just because you’re in a long-term relationship, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t shave your legs, tweeze your eyebrows, and keep yourself smelling good. (Same goes for him, by the way). And every once in a while, buy yourself some sexy underthings. Surprise him, because that keeps the relationship sexy.

8. Be spontaneous. Use your imagination. Take initiative. Go with the flow. Take some risks. Have fun. Relationships require some risk to keep things exciting.

9. Don’t tell long stories. Most women love to talk. Most men don’t love to listen to long meandering stories. They can’t follow. Tell those stories to your friends. Have meaningful conversation with your man, but make sure to get to the point so he can track how to respond.

10. Be open in the bedroom. Expressing what you want and need in bed is so important. Encourage him to do the same.

11. Be supportive. He doesn’t like book clubs? Don’t make him attend yours. He doesn’t like the same music as you? Take your girlfriend to that concert and let him have a night with the guys. You should each have your own interests, and sometimes his will be completely different from yours. That’s great! It means you won’t get bored of each other.

Some of these tips may seem old fashioned or sexist, but after coaching women for almost 15 years, I can tell you they work. What are your thoughts on these 12 tips? Let me know in the comments!

He has dreams. Support them. Even if you don’t believe in the practicality of his dreams. Let him figure it out. He needs a cheerleader on his side. Ask him to do the same for you.

12. Don’t force him to do what he doesn’t want to do. He doesn’t like book clubs? Don’t make him attend yours. He doesn’t like the same music as you? Take your girlfriend to that concert and let him have a night with the guys. You should each have your own interests, and sometimes his will be completely different from yours. That’s great! It means that you won’t grow bored of each other. 

So, what do you think? Agree? Disagree? I want to hear from you! 

Watch the video here

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