12 Tips to Win a Guy Over (or keep him from leaving)

Posted by in dating after divorce, single women over 40 | 10 comments

win a guy over

How do you win a guy over? These 12 tips, from a man, will help you attract the right man and keep his interest.

win a guy overWant to know how to win a guy over? The best authority on what men want is – you guessed it – a man! I watched a video made by a man on how to keep your relationship alive and healthy. The delivery was crass, but the words were wise. I have paraphrased his message, because when men talk, I pay attention. There is much to learn, not only about keeping a relationship from falling apart, but also about the keys to attraction.

12 Tips to Win a Guy Over (or keep him from leaving)

1. Don’t listen to your single girlfriends’ advice. Especially if they’re unsuccessful in their relationships, your single girlfriends are probably giving you the wrong advice about men. Actually most people will give you bad advice about dating. Seek out the expertise of someone like a dating coach or therapist, as they will give you unbiased information.

2. Compliment him. How many of you are in a relationship for any length of time and have forgotten the importance of compliments? Doesn’t it feel great when he says nice things about you? Say nice things about him, too. It’s so easy to lose sight of the importance of acknowledging what’s great about each other.

3. Don’t try to change him. This is a biggie! So many people go into relationships with the thought of he’d be great ‘if only’ he’d be less messy, more spontaneous, more motivated, more outgoing, etc. This type of thinking is toxic to a relationship. I’m referring to wanting him to make core changes to his personality, not little tweaks, like updating his wardrobe or turning off lights when he leaves a room. You either accept him for who he is or find someone who has the qualities you want.

4. Know what your guy likes and learn it. If he loves football, make an effort to learn the game. Sit with him while he watches the Superbowl. He won’t expect you to love football in the same obsessive way he does, but you’ll get many brownie points for being willing to learn the game.

5. Curb your jealousy. If you start obsessing about every female friend or business acquaintance he has, you’ll most likely turn him off. You will come across as needy and controlling. As long as he doesn’t cross the line to inappropriate behavior, it’s okay for him to have female friends and appreciate other women.

6. Keep in shape.Eat healthy, exercise, and take good care of yourself. It’s easy to become complacent when you’re in a long-term relationship. Here’s my advice: take care of yourself for both of you. It has the dual effect of keeping him loyal to you and keeping you feeling good, inside and out. And the same goes for him – make sure you’re with someone who takes care of himself, too.

7. Stay fresh. Just because you’re in a long-term relationship, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t shave your legs, tweeze your eyebrows, and keep yourself smelling good. (Same goes for him, by the way). And every once in a while, buy yourself some sexy underthings. Surprise him, because that keeps the relationship sexy. 

8. Be spontaneous. Use your imagination. Take initiative. Go with the flow. Take some risks. Have fun. Relationships require some risk to keep things exciting.

9. Don’t tell long stories. Most women love to talk. Most men don’t love to listen to long meandering stories. They can’t follow. Tell those stories to your friends. Have meaningful conversation with your man, but make sure to get to the point so he can track how to respond.

10. Be open in the bedroom. Expressing what you want and need in bed is so important. Encourage him to do the same.

11. Be supportive. He has dreams. Support them. Even if you don’t believe in the practicality of his dreams. Let him figure it out. He needs a cheerleader on his side. Ask him to do the same for you.

12. Don’t force a guy to do what he doesn’t want to do.

win a guy overWant to know how to win a guy over? The best authority on what men want is – you guessed it – a man! I watched a video made by a man on how to keep your relationship alive and healthy. The delivery was crass, but the words were wise. I have paraphrased his message, because when men talk, I pay attention. There is much to learn, not only about keeping a relationship from falling apart, but also about the keys to attraction.

12 Tips to Win a Guy Over (or keep him from leaving)

1. Don’t listen to your single girlfriends’ advice. Especially if they’re unsuccessful in their relationships, your single girlfriends are probably giving you the wrong advice about men. Actually most people will give you bad advice about dating. Seek out the expertise of someone like a dating coach or therapist, as they will give you unbiased information.

2. Compliment him. How many of you are in a relationship for any length of time and have forgotten the importance of compliments? Doesn’t it feel great when he says nice things about you? Say nice things about him, too. It’s so easy to lose sight of the importance of acknowledging what’s great about each other.

3. Don’t try to change him. This is a biggie! So many people go into relationships with the thought of he’d be great ‘if only’ he’d be less messy, more spontaneous, more motivated, more outgoing, etc. This type of thinking is toxic to a relationship. I’m referring to wanting him to make core changes to his personality, not little tweaks, like updating his wardrobe or turning off lights when he leaves a room. You either accept him for who he is or find someone who has the qualities you want.

4. Know what your guy likes and learn it. If he loves football, make an effort to learn the game. Sit with him while he watches the Superbowl. He won’t expect you to love football in the same obsessive way he does, but you’ll get many brownie points for being willing to learn the game.

5. Curb your jealousy. If you start obsessing about every female friend or business acquaintance he has, you’ll most likely turn him off. You will come across as needy and controlling. As long as he doesn’t cross the line to inappropriate behavior, it’s okay for him to have female friends and appreciate other women.

6. Keep in shape.Eat healthy, exercise, and take good care of yourself. It’s easy to become complacent when you’re in a long-term relationship. Here’s my advice: take care of yourself for both of you. It has the dual effect of keeping him loyal to you and keeping you feeling good, inside and out. And the same goes for him – make sure you’re with someone who takes care of himself, too.

7. Stay fresh. Just because you’re in a long-term relationship, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t shave your legs, tweeze your eyebrows, and keep yourself smelling good. (Same goes for him, by the way). And every once in a while, buy yourself some sexy underthings. Surprise him, because that keeps the relationship sexy.

8. Be spontaneous. Use your imagination. Take initiative. Go with the flow. Take some risks. Have fun. Relationships require some risk to keep things exciting.

9. Don’t tell long stories. Most women love to talk. Most men don’t love to listen to long meandering stories. They can’t follow. Tell those stories to your friends. Have meaningful conversation with your man, but make sure to get to the point so he can track how to respond.

10. Be open in the bedroom. Expressing what you want and need in bed is so important. Encourage him to do the same.

11. Be supportive. He doesn’t like book clubs? Don’t make him attend yours. He doesn’t like the same music as you? Take your girlfriend to that concert and let him have a night with the guys. You should each have your own interests, and sometimes his will be completely different from yours. That’s great! It means you won’t get bored of each other.

Some of these tips may seem old fashioned or sexist, but after coaching women for almost 15 years, I can tell you they work. What are your thoughts on these 12 tips? Let me know in the comments!

He has dreams. Support them. Even if you don’t believe in the practicality of his dreams. Let him figure it out. He needs a cheerleader on his side. Ask him to do the same for you.

12. Don’t force him to do what he doesn’t want to do. He doesn’t like book clubs? Don’t make him attend yours. He doesn’t like the same music as you? Take your girlfriend to that concert and let him have a night with the guys. You should each have your own interests, and sometimes his will be completely different from yours. That’s great! It means that you won’t grow bored of each other. 

So, what do you think? Agree? Disagree? I want to hear from you! 

 

Watch the video here


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Comments

10 Comments

  1. Oh Sandy….I COMPLETELY Agree!!! These are ALL good points! Sometimes I think we forget…that although we like to “be a couple”…we are still INDEPENDENT of one another…and you have to hold both positions in a healthy way!! 🙂 Great post!!

  2. Thanks, Leann! Your comment means a lot to me. Especially since you are happily married again. You seem to know the ‘secret’ to making it work. You give hope to people looking for love the second time around!

  3. The Secret…is remembering that we are ALL HUMAN. We are all on a journey of learning, and if we love unconditionally from the heart…we are guided. Neither my husband nor I are by ANY means PERFECT…LOL In fact, FAR from it! But we are respectful of each other’s learning processes. AND…no matter what happens in our relationship…we do NOT take it personally. That can sometimes be hard… and let me add…there are NO lessons we have not learned together. 😉 Now to quote my teens…”nuf said!” LOL Wishing everyone who reads this much love and laughter in life’s learnings…. XO

  4. Leann, you express the truth about some real relationship success secrets – not taking things personally, accepting imperfection in each other, and growing together. I hope my audience takes these important lessons into account. There is no fairy tale relationship. Love is grand, but it takes a load of hard work to make it thrive. xoxox

  5. well said!

  6. Good! I need some help! At least I know I shouldn’t drag my bestfriend/crush to car shows and museums.

  7. I love 1-5 the most. I made some mistakes when i was younger, but then i was very immature still. I believe to have patience is also a very important one too. You can’t force someone to like you, and guys need their space. If you rush things through he is most likely to loose interest and move on.

  8. I need to win my ex back! Thanks this should help.

  9. Hmmmm….some interesting advice.
    Staying in shape keeps a guy loyal to you? Uh, no, not a guarantee. Just ask all of the gorgeous women with tight bodies who were left by and cheated on by their boyfriends and spouses. (Sandra Bullock, Elin Nordegren, Princess Diana, Jennifer Aniston, Sienna Miller, Christie Brinkley, etc etc to name just a few famous beauties)
    How about staying interested in growing and learning and being an interesting, kind and loving person,with goals and a love for life? The guy who wrote this is a shallow selfish ass.

  10. Comment *I just reconnected with this guy friend. I knew when I was in my teens. We both want each other. But live five hours away.can’t see him until summer after he’s done with college.it’s so hard. He ask me out five different times, I finally said yes to him. He don’t like to talk about things that are like going to happen. He likes to be patient. I have a hard time with that. But men are always patience. I just wish I knew how to learn to not be fast.I really am starting to want to be with him all the time. By texting. I never done this before either. So to me it’s very exciting for me. How do I have him to say I love you back.he says to take it day by day.but welling to take my time for him. But just need tips on how to get him to want me more. Even though I have to wait to see him in summer.

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