Your Online Dating Profile

Posted by in understanding men over 40 | 0 comments

How important is an online dating profile? Warning: I am going to make some gross generalizations based on my interviews with male and female clients. I believe these points of view to be fairly accurate for the majority of men and women who are dating online. Men and women seem to be split on their opinions about what’s important in an online profile. I have found that men don’t read as much as look. The online profile photo is the first thing they see, and they make dating decisions based largely on how attractive a woman is. Women are much more forgiving of looks. They may not date a guy who is a total turn-off, but if an online profile essay is well-crafted, my strong, successful female clients are interested in a first conversation. A handsome hunk with an illiterate essay is less likely to grab their attention.

If you are dating online to find a life partner, why would you spend so little time and effort crafting a good essay? Why would you post a photo that is out of focus or does not best represent you? Seems counter intuitive, yet so many people do just that. A few weeks ago, a client received an email from a guy who had not posted a photo. He offered to send his photo to her private email address. It came  with this message: “hope you’re not disappointed”. Yikes! Not very positive, are we? The photo made a poor first impression as well. The guy looked as if he had just smelled something foul. I believe that no matter how blessed we are with good looks, we can make the best of our appearance. This guy made a lousy first impression and blew any chance of a date.

Tips for writing a better online essay:

1. Show don’t tell. If you’re funny, say something humorous, don’t say “I have a good sense of humor.”

2. Don’t ramble. The first thing people see is the first line or two of your essay. Grab their attention. So many essays begin with, “This is hard for me.” Or “I have never joined an online dating site before.” Or my favorite, “I am tall, dark and handsome.” (women should be able to figure that one out from your photo.)

3. Brand yourself. What sets you apart from other people online? Say something unique about you. Last week, two women on JDate lifted a whole paragraph from my online profile! Word for word. What they were looking for in a relationship was exactly what I was looking for! I felt a little violated at first, but then realized the positive message: Imitation is the best form of flattery!

If writing a catchy online profile is out of your realm, you might want to hire a professional. I have written snappy online profiles that have gotten my clients noticed. Just contact me at and I’ll be happy to give you a free consult!

What is your online profile pet peeve? Please share with me!


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