3 Ways to Build Trust in Relationships

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build trust

Trust is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship. How do you build trust? My podcast guest, Karen Aberle, shares actionable tips for you!

Whether you’re single, married, or searching for love, you’re sure to be inspired by my podcast guest. Karen Aberle is the author of Love’s Invisible Dance, inspired by her own juicy 30-year marriage, 3 decades of researching relationship and the philosophy of language, and an 18-year apprenticeship with shamans of central Mexico. She’s coached teams in Fortune 100 organizations on building strong professional relationships using the same skills she and her husband have taught in couples’ workshops.

Check out highlights below for episode 334: Karen Aberle on 3 Ways to Build Trust in Your Relationship

3 Ways to Build Trust in Relationships

Listen to/download the entire episode below.


Show highlights:

Your book offers 7 keys to building a healthy relationship. What are they?

The first key is, who is this person in front of us? Is this person a treasure? And how do we honor that treasure?

The second key is to recognize we’re created in language. Who you are to me is something we design by our shared values. We need to be able to see how we each see the world, and assess the possibilities that exist.

The third key is about learning. We tend to look at the other as the source of our joy or pain and don’t necessarily take responsibility for creating our own level of mastery in love. What is love? We fall into love, and when the hormones settle down, what is love then?

Love is a domain of action. It’s the way we act to care for another and be tender for another. When we act with care and tenderness, we create love. We learn to master love.

The fourth key is declaring and defining partnership. What partnership are we in? What are we building? There needs to be clarity and a plan with commitments.

The fifth key is creating passion. How do you create and recreate passion?

The sixth key is radical authenticity, or dancing naked. It’s about being loved for who you are, not who you pretend to be.

The seventh key is mastering the dance of conflict. People who never fight have dry dead relationships.


What are 3 ways to build trust in your relationship?

The first piece is accountability. Ask this question, “What can I count on your for?” Authenticity and honesty are key. If we can’t count on each other to tell the truth, who you are and how you feel about me, the more authentic we can be, the more we can build trust.

The second piece is competence: I need to count on you for what you’re capable of doing, not what I want you to be doing. Be willing to acknowledge our incompetence.

The third piece is reliability: How well do you manage your promises? Make, fulfill, and communicate when you can’t keep your promises.

What’s the best way to have difficult conversations with a partner or date (like losing weight or having bad breath) without hurting his or her feelings?

Lose your attachment to having anything happen. Think: My perception about your body image is my perception only. We need to get the real conversation on the table before we offer up assessments. Sample conversation: “It seems to me that you’re suffering about your weight. Do I have that right? Is that a concern for you?” Wait for his response, then ask, “Are you open to my perspective? I’d be happy to share it with you.” Get his buy in before sharing your perspective, and unhook the negativity from it.

Find out more about Karen and buy her book here: karenaberle.com

Please take a moment to rate and review our show on iTunes here. Thank you!

Want to learn the keys to finally finding and keeping the love you desire? Schedule your complimentary 1/2 hour Love Breakthrough Session now: https://lastfirstdate.com/breakthrough


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