4 Dating Blocks Keeping You From Love
If you’re struggling to find lasting love, you might have one of these 4 dating blocks. Learn more in this podcast episode with Veronica Grant.
My podcast guest, Veronica Grant, is a Love Coach for successful women. She helps them uncover the dating blocks keeping them from love.
Through her binge-worthy podcast, free challenges, and coaching, she’s here to shake up how you find love, even in our swipe right, swipe left world.
A few of her guilty pleasures (a must-have for recovering perfectionists!) include: binge watching HGTV, hiking with her husband and pup, and sushi everything.
Listen to/download Episode #351: 4 Dating Blocks to Finding Real Love, and check out the show notes below.
4 Dating Blocks Keeping You From Love
What inspired you to become a love coach?
It happened by accident. I spent my whole life being interested in fitness, health, and eating, to a point where it wasn’t healthy. In 6th grade, I first thought I looked fat and had to lose weight. I took fitness classes in college, and after college, I took a job in a non-profit. I started doing health coaching. I though it would be a perfect career.
It was great, but I got bored. I was working with a life and business coach on my branding, and I told her my friends wanted me to write their profiles and talk to me about their relationships. They wanted to lose weight to go on dates. My coach connected the dots for me, and I realized my issues around body image and struggle to lose weight were about validation from boys and men. It made so much more sense to me. And I’m not bored yet!
What was your ‘bathroom floor’ moment?
I had just moved to Washington, D.C. and started seeing a guy who I thought was amazing. He was a friend of a friend, and he swept me off my feet. He took me on really nice dates. Things were great for a few weeks. Then, we had a date planned, and he texted me that he was sorry he was too drunk to take me out. He asked if I would take a cab out to his home and meet his friends. So, I went to him.
We made plans to meet the next weekend. He texted me that he had too many drinks at lunch and that night wouldn’t work out. There was silence after that. Three days later, he called to apologize. And then he broke up with me.
He had been my source of validation and confidence, and it felt like everything deflated. I was devastated. I sent him a sappy email saying I believed in him. I was in the bathroom sobbing, when a friend called and said I should get over myself. This guy didn’t even stay sober enough to go on a date with me. My friend was right.
In that moment, I realized I had been outsourcing my confidence to men. I had to let go of that and focus on me and create a life that was exciting for me first. That’s when I started my first business, changed my spiritual practice and began nourishing myself. A few months later, I met my husband!
What are the 4 love blocks you’ve uncovered?
The pleaser: This is the most common. Women are taught to be pleasers by parents and society. The problem is you’re a perfect match for someone with narcissistic tendencies.
The poor me: Can come across as victim-y saying things like, ‘online dating sucks’, or ‘the world is out to get me’, and ‘I’m not wired for love’. When you’re in that energy, it’s hard to attract a healthy relationship.
The saboteur: Always worried the other shoe will drop. You don’t trust easily. You sabotage by acting crazy to get someone to not be interested, or you say something that will hurt him.
The future tripper: Worried about the second date even before the first date. Wondering if he’s marriage material. It’s hard for you to stay present, which makes it hard to tell the difference between what’s real and what’s right in front of you.
Once we identify a dating block, how do we begin to clear it?
Become aware of your part in the block. Understand where your patterns are coming from. Ask yourself why you have these blocks. Who or what does this remind you of? Where did you learn that this was normal?
Everything always goes back to your relationship with your parents. If you grew up in a volatile household and got positive attention for getting good grades, but you didn’t want to rock the boat, you learned to not ask for things and you walked on egg shells. How does that look as you get older? Connect the dots.
What’s your best advice for how our listeners can go on their last first date?
The more self-awareness you can have about why you do what you do is your best bet, AND going on dates to be present, curious, and have fun.
Learn more about Veronica Grant here.
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Want to finally attract the epic love you deserve? Schedule your complimentary 1/2 hour Love Breakthrough Session. Learn how coaching with Sandy can help you fall in love with a partner who meets you on every level. https://lastfirstdate.com/breakthrough