4 Steps to Tame Your Inner Critic

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tame your inner critic

What if you could tame your inner critic, that judgmental voice that lives inside each of us? In this video, learn 4 steps to control it – so it doesn’t control you!

We all have an inner critic. It’s that nagging voice inside our heads that expresses disapproval, criticism, and judgment of our actions and thoughts. In this video, learn four powerful steps to tame your inner critic.

4 Steps to Tame Your Inner Critic

You may recognize your inner critic as the voice that says, “You’re not smart enough”, “You look fat in that outfit!”, or “You’ll probably be alone forever.” Your inner critic can keep you from the life and love you yearn for.

Let’s challenge that nasty critical voice! But, first we must understand the inner critic’s job.

The Inner Critic’s Job

Believe it or not, it’s a part of you that’s trying to help you stay safe. It doesn’t want you to get hurt, so it tries to stop you from taking risks (like falling in love and being vulnerable and open with men). This type of safety is not good for you. It keeps you small. And it keeps you from the love you’re seeking.

Unfortunately, you can’t just abolish that pesky inner critic. She’s been with you for decades. But, you sure can tame that sucker. Here’s how: 

1. Acknowledge your inner critic’s presence. Who is your inner critic? If it was a being, what would it look like and sound like? Give it a name. What are the voices that play in your head, especially when it comes to men? Write them down.

2. Separate yourself from your inner critic. Write down what your inner critic says in the second person (as “you” statements). For example, a thought like “I can’t get a date. I’ll never find a partner.” can be written as “You can’t get a date. You’ll never find a partner.” This helps you see these thoughts as a separate point-of-view and not as true statements. Notice how hostile your internal enemy can be.

3. Respond and set a boundary every time the critic shows up.  Every time you hear the critic’s judgments, replace them with more compassionate statements. Write them in the first person (as “I” statements). For example, in response to a thought like, “You’ll never get a date” you could write, “I may struggle with dating at times, but I am lovable, smart and would make a great partner to the right man.” This exercise isn’t meant to build you up or boost your ego but to show a kinder, more honest attitude toward yourself.

4. Don’t follow the advice of your inner critic. Instead, tune in and follow your own inner guidance. Your critical inner voice may get louder, telling you to work harder or not to take chances. However, by identifying, separating from, and acting against this destructive thought process, you will grow stronger, while your inner critic grows weaker.

Practice these steps over and over until they are ingrained in your psyche. Over time, your inner critic will be tamed, and you’ll be able to access your highest, most authentic self. And that’s the wellspring of all the best choices you’ll make!

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