4 Tips to Reignite Your Relationship

Posted by in communication skills in dating, dating in midlife | 0 comments

your relationshipBeing in a relationship can be incredibly rewarding and wonderful. Many people who are single daydream of someday having a partner they can share everything with, from their most mundane thoughts to their life’s goals and dreams. That doesn’t mean that being in a relationship is all peaches and cream though, and it certainly doesn’t mean that it’s always easy. I know this from experience in my own relationships.

In fact, experience has taught me that relationships are hard work, and even when you do your best to maintain them, that spark that you had early on in your relationship can feel like it’s starting to fade from time to time. It can happen even if your relationship isn’t having any problems.

Call it malaise, call it boredom – call it anything you want. Just make sure you address it before that spark is gone for good.

4 Tips to Reignite Your Relationship

1. Go on Dates

It might sound obvious, but if you feel like the spark in your relationship is starting to die out, you need to go back to what brought you two together in the first place. For most people, that was dating, and it’s something you probably need to be doing more of.

If you have kids, a family and stressful jobs that you didn’t have when you paired up, you’re certainly not alone, and it isn’t always going to be easy to find time to date. However, if keeping the spark in your relationship burning bright is important to you, you’re going to need to make that time.

You don’t need to do anything crazy for date night. Go to a favorite restaurant or try a new one. See a classic movie or check out a silly horror flick during a weekend matinee. Don’t get stuck thinking each date has to be a big thing. Make time when you can to go out and have some fun together.

2. Small Gestures Matter

When is the last time you wrote your partner a love note? What about bringing them a favorite treat or their favorite flower? The gesture you make doesn’t have to be a big one, but sometimes doing a little thing for your partner is really the best possible idea for your relationship.

In many cases, small gestures can put both of you in a good mood and you’re more likely to do nice things for each other the next day, the next hour or even the next minute. A favorite flower can lead to a shared glass of wine, a meal, and a romantic evening in bed. That can lead to a love note in the morning or a sweet phone call on a lunch break.

That’s the kind of snowball effect you want in a relationship, and all it takes is starting with something small. like a bar of chocolate.

3. Be Polite

Of course you’re polite to your partner, the person you live with, the person you’ve chosen to spend the vast majority of your time with, right? You probably think you are, but if you’re like many people, you aren’t being as polite as you could be.

Remember the old saying “familiarity breeds contempt?” While that might be true, you probably don’t hate your partner, even on a subconscious level. You might be taking them for granted though, and that can be just as bad when it comes to extinguishing the spark between the two of you.

So what should you do? It’s actually pretty simple. Be polite and kind, and make a concerted effort to think about what you’re saying and your tone of voice before you speak.

You might be used to shooting from the hip with your partner because you’re so comfortable with them. That can lead to resentment.

If you feel like your partner is taking you for granted, sometimes a simple talk is all that’s needed for them to realize that you both need to be kinder to each other.

4. Take a Vacation

Going on vacation is something you’re going to have to plan in advance, but getting away from the daily grind of life at home, even if life is generally good, can do wonders for any committed long-term relationship. Why? Because a change in scenery is basically like hitting the reset button for most people, even if you don’t realize it at the time.

Plan a simple weekend trip or schedule that once in a lifetime vacation that you’ve always wanted to take together. Sometimes just planning the trip and packing together is the first step in relighting that hot flame between you and your partner.

Do you have any favorite tips that helped rekindle the spark in your relationship? Please share them!

Photo by Oliver Berghold

This article was submitted by Colgan and Associates, a divorce law firm in York, Virginia.


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