6 Tips for Successful First Date Conversation

Posted by in single women over 40 | 4 comments

If you’re both interested in each other, a successful first date leads to a second date. Plain and simple. And yet, so many people say or do things that are a turn-off. First impressions matter. A lot. So be careful about the words you say and the gestures you make. In a recent episode of Millionaire Matchmaker, a guy on a date was asked, “What do you do to relax on the weekends?” His response: “I read the paper and stay home alone. I hate people.” This last line was the deal breaker. Who wants to date a person who hates people? What does that say about him? I have provided some great tips so you don’t have to take your foot out of your mouth again.
6 Tips for Successful First Date Conversation

1. Laughter is a key component to most relationships, and people are looking to connect through a common sense of humor. Don’t force the humor, but relax and let your natural sense of humor come through. No off-color jokes please!
2. Neediness is a turnoff, so one should not appear to be too clingy or needy. Ideally, you should be both be fairly whole before being able to be a couple. Even if you are a psychologically healthy person, saying the wrong thing can be misleading and give your date an inaccurate impression of you.¬†For example, in the example above from the Millionaire Matchmaker, saying that you hate people, even if you’re just being sarcastic, can scare off a potential partner.
3. Don’t reveal your whole life story. Mystery is sexy. Ideally, your date will be curious about you and¬†desire to learn more about you.
4. Be positive. There should be no ratting on exes, family members, or friends. No whining or victim talk.
5. It’s not all about you. Listen well. Don’t dominate the conversation with ‘me’ talk. Relationships are about ‘us’, not ‘me’. Show that you are ready for a relationship by the words you say and the actions you take. Which leads us to tip number 6…
6. Be nurturing and kind. A nurturing woman is an attractive quality that most men are looking for. Show your caring, loving nature by the questions you ask, the concern you have for his comfort during the date. For example, if he is sniffling and you are out to dinner, ask if he’d like to order chicken soup. A man shows his ability to care for a woman by being a gentleman, opening doors, holding out her chair, taking her coat. As old fashioned as these things might seem to the modern couple, chivalry is alive and well and these seemingly archaic ways of relating to the opposite sex are still quite relevant today.

Happy dating! Any tips you’d like to add to this list? I’d love to hear your ideas.



  1. These are good ideas for what to say and do on a first date, can you give us the list for what NOT to say?

  2. Hi Susan,
    What NOT to say on a first date is the topic of my blog today. Please check it out and let me know what you think. Thanks for your comments. I value your feedback.

  3. I can’t believe you are saying the guy should have lied about himself! What he does and likes should be upfront and honest!!

  4. I advocate for honesty, but not a full reveal on a first date. I never said that a man should have lied. What I said was that he shouldn’t reveal his negative character traits on a first date.

    I advocate for being positive on a date. You are making a first impression. If you do get into a relationship, you will have plenty of time to reveal the good, the bad, and the ugly.

    The right relationship is built on trust, and once that trust and love is developed, a person can accept the other in totality.

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