7 Things You Can Do if Your Partner Refuses to Wear Condoms

Posted by in dating in midlife, single women over 40 | 0 comments

Sexually transmitted diseases are rampant among midlife daters. Why? Your partner refuses to wear condoms. Here’s how to get him to change his mind.

Sexually transmitted diseases are rampant among midlife daters. Why? Your partner refuses to wear a condom. Here’s how to get him to change his mind.

Unfortunately, many midlife daters think they can have unprotected sex. Can’t get pregnant? Why wear a condom? Three words: sexually transmitted diseases.

Still, many women feel powerless when their partners decide not to wear condoms during intercourse. If your partner refuses to wear a condom, here are some things you can do to change their mind and lead a healthy, satisfying and safe sexual life.

7 Things You Can Do if Your Partner Refuses to Wear Condoms


1. Communicate with your partner

This is a delicate matter, so the way in which you communicate is crucial. Ask your partner why he doesn’t want to use a condom. When he gives you the answer, make sure that you have a response ready.

Your partner knows about the dangers of unprotected sex. So don’t fall into lecture mode and tell him the basics of protected sex. That won’t get you closer to solving the issue.

Instead, tell him how you feel about it. Tap into his emotions and encourage him to reconsider his position.

2. Having sex with a condom can be more pleasant than you think

Many men claim that condoms spoil their enjoyment of sex. If that’s why your partner doesn’t want to use a condom, tell him that you can’t enjoy sex unless you feel that you are completely protected.

You should let him know that many condoms have extra features that boost sensations. In general, you’ll have better sex when neither of you is worried about STDs or unintended pregnancies.

If a condom feels uncomfortable, you should get a different type or size. Have various types of condoms ready to show your partner – they might not be as bad as he thinks!

Researchers are now working on developing new condoms that are safer and more pleasurable, but it pays to have some fun trying out different kinds of condoms until you find one that allows you to enjoy sex and keep you healthy.

3. If you loved me, you’d trust me not to transmit a disease…

Your partner might say something along these lines: “If you really love me, you should trust me”. The best way to respond is telling him that it is precisely because you love him that you want to be sure you’re both protected and healthy.

If your partner reads your suggestion to wear a condom as lack of trust (as you might be thinking that you might catch something from him), assure him that this is not true.

Finally, be sure to tell him this: “Consider that when we’re having sex together, we’re also having sex with each other’s partners. And while I trust you, I can’t extend that trust to your previous partners”.

If you had sex without a condom before and your partner decides to bring that up, tell him that it was a bad decision and you don’t want to do that again because you spent the entire month worried that you might be pregnant.

4. But, condoms don’t always work…

If your partner tells you that condoms don’t really work and most of them actually get busted, it’s best to confront him with statistics. If used the right way, condoms are 98% effective.

Sure, sometimes they might break. But that usually happens when you’re not wearing the right size or put them on incorrectly. So be sure to figure out your partner’s size and pick the best one for him.

5. What if you’re already using birth control?

Another thing you might be hearing from your partner is that it’s pointless to use condoms when you’re already using another form of birth control like the pill. That’s when you should tell him that these measures don’t protect from STDs that you might not even know you have – emphasize that you’re talking about the both of you. Condoms will give you that protection. Plus, it never hurts to have double protection.

6. Educate him about STDs

Don’t assume that your partner knows about STDs as much as you do. Tell him that using condoms is really the most effective way of reducing the risk of spreading STDs.

If one of you has ever been sexually active, it’s possible that you have an STD – even if it’s not showing any signs or symptoms right now. If you and your partner haven’t been treated or tested for common STDs, you should get tested together. And until you know each other’s STD status, you should use condoms – or wait to have sex.

This is a logical argument, and it’s bound to resonate with your partner. Remember to talk about this topic in a calm and factual manner. Encourage him to get tested together as a way of getting what he wants: sex without a condom.

7. How to deal with other excuses

If he says that a condom decreases his pleasure, consider getting him another type. Don’t forget to always come prepared with your own condoms. Become more creative with the act of putting it on. You can use your hands or lips to do that. That’s how you make up for the lost excitement.

There is no reason why your partner should refuse to use a condom. Condoms are the easiest, safest, and most effective birth control method and sexual health guarantee available today.

Use these 7 tips to convince your partner and lead a healthy sexual life.

About the author:

David Beeshaw is a health blogger, currently supporting raTrust – a non-profit helping those at risk of HIV and STIs. Believing that proper education is one of the keys to stopping sexually transmitted diseases, David might often be found sharing his tips and suggestions online.

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