8 Biggest Turnoffs on a First Date

Posted by in dating after divorce, first date success, online dating after 40, self-esteem in dating | 0 comments

I consider myself to be a positive person. I am not out to spread negativity about the masculine race. Quite the opposite. I think women often don’t give a good guy a chance. But there are some qualities in a man (or a woman, but I am coaching women on this site) that can really turn you off. What are those qualities? Are they deal breakers for you?

Have you ever had a horrible first date with a guy? If you’re like most women, the answer will be yes. You might have made some excuse to get home to your sick kid. Your dog needed an emergency visit to the vet. You’ll make any excuse to get out quick.

Sometimes, the turnoff happens before the first date. A guy can turn you off over the phone or even in an IM before getting to the first phone call. The other day, a client had a guy who IM’d her, said ‘Hi’ and disappeared. She signed off, scratching her head. He sent her an angry email, mad at her for not hanging around to talk to him even though he had taken a call from his daughter and ignored her on the IM. Next!!!!

Based on client experiences shared with me, following are the 8 biggest turnoffs that show up at the start of a connection online. These are the things you should run away from.

8 Biggest Turnoffs

1. Bitterness towards the ex. A guy who starts out a conversation slamming his ex is a huge turnoff. I don’t know any woman who wants to be with a victim. It’s draining. My advice to these bitter guys ~ get therapy and get over it before dating.

2. Lack of confidence.¬†When a person has low self-esteem, they are not attractive. It’s hard to be in a relationship with someone who does not feel good about himself. Confidence is sexy. Figure out how to up your self-esteem before dating. It doesn’t really matter how you look. What matters most is what’s inside. With confidence, you become magnetic and will draw in the ideal partner.

4. Fakes. A guy who’s trying to be someone he’s not is a big turnoff. Keep it real, fellas.

5. Bad hygiene. A scruffy beard, bad haircut, sloppy dresser, smelly guys, and bad breath all fall into this category. Make an effort. You’re supposed to be trying to make the best impression on her, not show that you can’t be bothered to try and make it work!

6. Sucking all the air out of the room. You know the type ~ he talks throughout the entire date. He toots his own horn, touts his accomplishments, and doesn’t ask much about you. A relationship involves two people, not one, buddy.

7. Bland and boring. If you’re checking the clock after the first twenty minutes, it’s not a good sign! You know the guy who is repeating stories on the first date? This category also includes the bobble-head, the guy who nods at your every word, and looks at you like you’re a demi-goddess. You end up holding the fascinating conversation, and he is your loving audience. When he puts you on a pedestal, the only place for you to look is down!

8. The control freak. After one date, he wants to be exclusive. Wants to move into your house. Run for the hills. This guy wants to control you, and this type of relationship will not be healthy.

As I’ve said before, it’s important to go into every first date with your eyes wide open. If any of these warning signs occur, check in with yourself to see how you feel. If you feel icky, get out before you become entangled.






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