8 Steps to Speaking Up in Difficult Situations

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speaking up

Do you struggle with speaking up in difficult situations? In this video, you’ll discover my 8 step process to help you resolve conflict.

It can be challenging to speak up in when your feelings are hurt or when you need to express your feelings and needs in times of conflict. That’s why I’m sharing my 8-step method for how to have a difficult conversation.

8 Steps to Speaking Up in Difficult Situations

  1. Identify what’s going on for you. Get clear on what’s bothering you. How do you feel? What need of yours wasn’t met?
  2. Give yourself empathy. You’re upset. It’s okay to be angry. Give yourself permission to feel.
  3. Take time to process. If you’re in a highly reactive state, you will not operate from your best most rational self when you have the ‘talk’. Figure out what you need to get calmer before addressing the issues.
  4. Check in. Make sure it’s a good time to talk. If it’s not a good time for them, ask when’s a better time.
  5. Use “I” statements. When this happened, I felt…. No judgments, no “you always” or “you never” statements. Speak about how you felt when this happened.
  6. Listen with curiosity. Make believe your partner is an alien, and you’re trying to learn everything you can about the planet they comes from.
  7. Brainstorm together for a solution that works for both of you.
  8. End with appreciation.

Most of us grew up in families where conflict was either avoided and people ignored each other when they were angry, which is stonewalling, or there was defensiveness, criticism, or contempt. Arguments don’t have to be scary or avoided. They can actually bring us closer to our partner so we can share greater intimacy.

How do you deal with difficult situations? Do you speak up, or do you shut down? Let me know in the comments.

Join the Woman of Value Club, where we have a monthly masterclass on topics like this one. Learn more and join here: https://lastfirstdate.com/the-woman-of-value-club/

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find your person, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with me and explore how private coaching can help: https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join my free Facebook group for women 40+ https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Check out my books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating: Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love.


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