9 Ways for Men To Date Successfully After Divorce

Posted by in dating after divorce, dating in midlife, love after 40 | 0 comments

date successfully after divorce

Guest post by Jonathan Bird, managing director of Warehouse Dating

It’s a sad fact that divorce rates are rising all the time. Most divorced men are terrified of the idea of re-entering the world of dating. Once their chins and chests sag, their hips or waists thicken, and their bellies rise, the concept of flirting, let alone trying to find a new romantic partner, seems like a world that has passed them by. Well fear not, because these simple tips will ensure that you date successfully after divorce.

 

9 Ways for Men To Date Successfully After Divorce

 

1. Less is more

Don’t date. Yes, you heard me right; I said don’t date. Think about a traditional ‘date.’ It’s full of pressure, awkwardness, evaluation and it just plain sucks. What do you do on a traditional date? Dinner, movie, kiss goodnight, and then she doesn’t return your calls, or texts, or rocks through her living room window (inconsiderate or what?). Trust me, it’s much better (and cheaper) to meet for coffee. It’s fun and relaxed with none of the normal dating expectations.

 

2. Have Courage

When it comes to dating, it might take courage to meet someone for a first coffee date. And, be mindful that there will be the possibility that your date will leave after just 10 minutes and explain that they are not attracted to you. Nevertheless, it says more about them than you. Oftentimes, about half of first dates do not result in a second. Therefore, you should have the courage to keep putting yourself out there once you are clear about what you want in a special woman in your life again.

 

3. Stay quiet

The less you do and say, the more she’s attracted to you. Most guys try to impress beautiful women, or ‘lay a rap’ on them. Women have heard it all before. But, if you ask her about herself, shut up and listen, and display a SMALL degree of interest, she’ll begin to wonder why you’re not slobbering all over her. She’ll want to discover more. Now you’re a challenge, and beautiful women love challenging guys.

 

4. Have a sense of humor

Be a gentleman but also be a ‘naughty boy.’ Remember the ‘class clown’ in school – the guy who was cool and funny at the same time? When you’re talking to women, make unexpected and mischievous comments. Leave them thinking, “I can’t believe he just said that… but I like it.” This shows women you’re NOT impressed by their looks and you need to see more. And because this is so different from what they’re used to, they can’t help but be attracted.

 

5. Avoid the worn out clichés

Avoid all canned pickup lines or any type of acting. Women have heard it all before. As soon as you spout one, you’re instantly what I call a JAG (just another guy). And JAG’s don’t get a second date!

 

6. Stay alert

Look out for her tests. Women will test you to see if you’ll stand up to them. If you can’t stand up to her, you can’t stand up for her. If she asks you to buy her things, that’s a test. It’s also a perfect opportunity to be a ‘naughty boy’ as described in dating tip 3. Say something like, “What do I look like, an ATM machine?” Say this in a playful, yet firm manner that lets her know you’re onto her. When you pass their tests, you are definitely closer to another date.

 

7. Get online

The internet can be a bewildering place at the best of times. When it comes to cyber-dating, however, the rules haven’t changed that much. The internet has given us a whole load of new ways to meet people, but the best parts of the internet are the ones that fit snugly with the traditional ways of doing things. Always be sure to keep an eye out for any singles online dating sites that you think might be a good fit for you.

 

8. Network

Instead of hitting the bars, statistics suggest that networking is a good way to meet potential dates. Just like you would spread the word if you’re unemployed and looking for friends to hook you up with a potential job, tell everyone you know you’re interested in dating again. This is how you’ll meet the best fit.

 

9. Remember your age

For men 40 or older, the relationship you are seeking is mature(ish), so act like it. This is not all about the crush or flirting techniques. It is serious. Yet, that does not mean you should not flirt, but you always want to be mature about it.


 

date successfully after divorceJonathan Bird is the Managing Director of Warehouse Dating, a group of unique dating sites and informative blogs which strives to make online dating just a little better. A published author, writer for The Huffington Post and a keen Boxer dog owner. You can follow Jonathan on his blog, Twitter, LinkedIn and Facebook

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