A Midlife Crisis Leads to a Timeshared Lover!

Posted by in dating after divorce, dating in midlife, love after 40 | 0 comments

midlife crisisBorn in Zimbabwe and educated in South Africa, author and artist Yana Stajno enjoyed an artistic and eclectic start to life. Graduating in English and Drama at Cape Town University, Stajno was politically active, joining the anti-apartheid movement where she met her future husband in the middle of a riot.

She now lives in London, where she practices as an acupuncturist, is an artist and writer. Stajno has written several plays and short stories. This is her first novel.

Following are loosely transcribed highlights of my radio interview with Yana about her new book, Rules for Thursday Lovers, a story about midlife crisis and timesharing a lover…

What gave you the idea for the novel?

I was talking to a dear friend who was down in the dumps. She was in midlife, her husband wasn’t noticing her anymore, and her kids were gone. She had nothing to look forward to. I said, “Why don’t you take a lover?” She said, “I don’t have time.” So, I said, “Why don’t you timeshare one?” I hope she didn’t take my advice, but that’s how I got my idea for the story.

Do you feel women potentially have the same midlife crisis as men have?

I think men have very open midlife dramas – they buy the new sports car, etc. Women are always responsible for running things, so their adolescent dream of excitement in midlife doesn’t always happen. {She has hopes and dreams in midlife, too,} but women don’t do the crisis or the drama so well. They don’t have the time. These two women in my book did. In a spectacular way! 

Do you think timesharing a lover would ever be a good idea?

I think there are some circumstances where it could be a good idea. You’d have to consider doing it with a very very good friend and have unbreakable rules. Rule number one: it must be fun. Dating is so tricky that it might be nice to share in an equal and rule-driven way, because you’d always have someone to talk to about it.

What’s your book about?

Two women meet on a barge in a timeshare. They were childhood friends. They haven’t seen each other in ages. They decide they want to share an adventure. And they get a little drunk and decide to timeshare a lover. Where will they find this man? They run an advert and have to interview them. They take on more than they can handle. They’re distracted by their passions, which has a positive effects on other characters in the book. 

What message would you like people to take away?

Let a little passion into your life. Never be afraid of failing. Let that absurd thought take root. Share it with a friend. Do some version of timesharing, even if not in this particular way. Life is sweet but very short. If something in your life isn’t working, take another brush and use another color. 

To listen to the entire episode, please click here.

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