A Positive Mindset is Key to Dating Success

Posted by in dating after divorce, dating in midlife, first date success, love after 40 | 2 comments

positive mindsetThe #1 key to finding love is a positive mindset.

For many people, dating can be very daunting and the prospect of rejection makes them choose the safest path, which is never leaving the sofa and going out into the dating world. That way, you can’t get hurt or embarrassed, right?

Well, perhaps nothing bad will happen, but it’s going to be pretty hard to experience a loving relationship unless you’re prepared to go on a few dates. Adopting a positive mindset with dating will not only boost your confidence about finding the right person, but by being confident and outgoing in your dating attitude, your attractiveness will shine through and make you even more of a catch.

A Positive Mindset is Key to Dating Success

1. Be the cool kid on the block

One specific way to approach dating positively is to adopt a slightly devil-may-care attitude. Think of all those dates you’ve refused to go on, those blind dates that you wouldn’t take part in, the party invites you declined. Where has this led you in your search for love? Nowhere. But if you said yes instead, what’s the worst that could happen?

Many people shy away from saying yes to a person who invites them on a date because they don’t happen to tick all the boxes on their ideal partner list, or because they fear it will not go well. Bear in mind that there are few perfect people out there, so you shouldn’t be afraid to say ‘yes’ to a date even if you’re not 100% sure whether you can see a relationship developing with that person.

All you need to do is get over the hurdle of that first meeting, and you’ll soon know if you’re on the right track. Of course, you should always take sensible precautions when meeting someone new – opting for a busy and public venue.

You’ll soon know how you feel about a person, but how do you judge what they think of you? Sometimes, it’s obvious in the way they interact with you or whether they suggest another date.

However, if you’re having difficulty gauging what your date thinks of you, check out the signs from their body language. You can tell a lot about a person from their posture, eye contact and the way they handle themselves in your company.

2. Keep on dating

It would be unusual to find the perfect partner on your first date. You may be lucky, but don’t count on it. People on the dating scene often get disillusioned if they have a few dates that don’t work out or don’t lead to any kind of relationship.

The old saying about ‘plenty of fish in the sea’ is a good way to be realistic about your dating mindset. Life rarely turns out the way it does in fairy tales, with boy meeting girl as if by magic. It can take time and many dates before finding someone with whom you really click.

If your date is not interested in you, or vice versa, chalk it down to experience and move on. Don’t waste any time brooding over what could have been. Instead look forward to the next date. All it takes is one special person.

Keep up your dating momentum and positive mindset and you’ll meet the right person soon enough. And when you do, you’ll be able to think back and remember all those other dates that finally got you to your last first date!



Photo:Flickr/Matt Wharton




  1. Totally agree with what you’ve written. The person you’re dating would remember how he/she “felt” during the date and this is influenced to a large extent by your positivity. And, yes, there are plenty of fish, so one needs to keep trying!

  2. Iris,

    Well said. As Maya Angelou so beautifully said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

    Keep on going…It only takes one!

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