A Short Guide to Online Dating Success

Posted by in dating after divorce, online dating after 40, single women over 40 | 0 comments

online dating successOnline dating has become the most popular way for singles to meet—especially if you are over 40. But how do you date online successfully? On the one hand, dating online will open up your dating world to a vast number of people, most of whom you would never have met any other way. On the other hand, if you have a profile that misrepresents you, you will have a very hard time attracting the ‘right’ people. You may not even be aware of the negative  messages in your profile. That’s why I’m sharing this short guide to online dating success.


A Short Guide to Online Dating Success

The following online profile dos and don’ts are excerpted from an article in the Denver Post, Denver psychologist tells how to avoid profile pitfalls that sabotage online dating, By Sheba R. Wheeler


Describe how you behave during a relationship:

• “I am not the type to smother or restrict.”

• “I’m a very open person. If something is troubling me, I will share it with you.”

Make profiles stand out with atypical descriptives that inform.

Instead of, “I like scary movies,” say “My favorite scary movie is ‘A Nightmare on Elm Street,’ because it freaks me out to not have control of what happens in my dreams.”

Writing “I’m a professional” is a good way of mentioning your work without specifically revealing what you do for a living. [note: I think it’s okay to state what you do, but you need to add why you love what you do. This isn’t your resumé]

Make a reference to being close to your family, but don’t go on for paragraphs. Just one sentence can let someone know you care about your family.

Use words like integrity, commitment and monogamy.

Share what some of your favorite travel spots are and why, but don’t say you are looking for someone to travel with you. [You’ll sound like a cliche].

End with a “call to action,” i.e., “I look forward to hearing from you,” or “E-mail me if you think we are a match.”


DON’T be negative about online dating.

The following statements imply there is something wrong with you and/or the reader for engaging in Internet dating.

• “I can’t believe it’s come to this.”

• “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

• “Well, it’s taken my friends about six months to persuade me to try online dating.”

DON’T be negative about yourself.

• “It’s always so hard to write about yourself without sounding dumb or conceited. So what to say?”

• “I’m not good at this and most of you reading this probably aren’t either.”

• “I’m not the greatest-looking guy and I don’t make the most money.”

DON’T bash men or women or rehash bad relationships.

• “The last guy I was with. . . .”

• “No players or head games.”

• “I’m looking for someone who is honest and loyal.”

• “Crazy people need not apply, thank you.”

• “Are there any good guys out there? Are there any real men left in the world?”

DON’T let insecurities out of the bag.

• “Trust is a big thing for me and I can’t say that I trust easily but once trust has been established, all things are possible!”

• “I’m just a guy who is lonely and would like to care for someone.”

• “Dating can be nerve-wracking to me.”

DON’T hide intimacy issues by being arrogant or selfish.

• “I’m different from other guys.”

• “If I like your picture, I will send you mine.”

• “I’m VERY picky with guys.”

• “I haven’t found anyone who deserves me.”

• “Are you handsome, successful and able to make me laugh?”

• “As you can see from my other information, I am well-educated, very successful, very active.”

DON’T come across as too busy or unavailable.

• “My children are No. 1 and weekends are spent with them.”

• “I’m getting hundreds of e-mails a day, so be patient.”

• “I don’t respond to winks.”

DON’T bring up:

Sex: “I’m not looking for sex on the first date.”

Exes: “My exes have told me . . .” or “I’m still in touch with a lot of my exes.”

Time on dating site: “I’m a longtime single.”

Money: “I just lost a lot of money on the stock market.”


Photo etiquette

Always post an updated picture, preferably of you smiling.

Do not post pictures of a man’s bare chest or showcase a woman’s cleavage.

Do not use photos with several people in the frame.

Do not post images where someone obviously has been cut out.

Make sure photos are clear, instead of blurry or dark.

The primary photo should be a head shot, not a photo of pets, children or your car.

Once you recognize the online dating success tips, you will have an easier time composing an online profile that attracts the people you like.

ONLINE DATING WORKS! You really can attract the man of your dreams online. But only if you know how to effectively work the system. That’s why I created the Find Love Online tele-course. Learn more.


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