An Insider’s Look Into Modern Dating

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modern dating

Listen to Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick, the DateAble podcast host’s opinions about modern dating on this week’s Last First Date Radio episode.

Who knows more about modern dating than Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick, hosts of Dateable, one of the top rated podcasts about dating, love and sex? As active daters turned dating sociologists, they’ve talked to thousands of real life daters and experts to explore modern dating culture and why people date the way they do. Before the podcast, Yue was a dating coach with clients all over the world. Julie was an app designer and researcher using technology to help people form connections. Together they have been #stayingdateable since 2016.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

  • The biggest struggles in dating this past year
  • The difference between ‘relationshipping’ and ‘relationshopping’
  • Why you should take yourself on ‘masterdates’
  • The new dateable mission: date without hate
  • The three ‘whys’ and how they help you bust limiting beliefs
  • Some surprises that Yue and Julie have discovered through making the podcast

An Insider’s Look Into Modern Dating

What have you noticed as some of the biggest struggles of dating this past year?

Some of the struggles we noticed were the Isolation, feelings of loss, and mourning life before covid. But the biggest struggle now is how to get back into the dating scene. Social skills and cues are rusty and blurred. How do we progress in a relationship where safety is a big concern? Many haven’t gotten date-ready in a year. It’s daunting.

Many are also re-evaluating where they’re living. It can make dating challenging if you’re struggling with who you are and where you want to live.

How will these struggles shape dating once we re-emerge into post-vaccine life?

We’ll do more ‘relationshipping’ vs ‘relationshopping’ (term from EP 450: Logan Ury – How to Not Die Alone). We’ll have more conversations around why is this my type? People are opening up their filters around their type. We’ll date without hate. 

Also, some people realize they don’t want a relationship right now, and they’re taking themselves on ‘masterdates’. Entertain yourself. Don’t wait for the right partner. 

What are some of the biggest mistakes you see people encounter while trying to date in these times?

Some things people should be more cautious about are not getting into the swipe culture again and thinking everyone is disposable. Make your swiping an event. Give yourself a limit. Only talk to two or three people at a time, and set a time limit. 

I think people are looking for a quick fix. A lot of us are fixated on the wrong things, like having the perfect profile and message. There’s nothing wrong with just saying, “How was your weekend?”.

What are some of the surprises you’ve experienced since starting the podcast?

We started the podcast as a funny dating stories podcast. We’re now providing a space for perspectives on how different people view dating. Our content has changed so much, like our recent episodes on Toxic Masculinity and dating with mental health issues. Dating shines a mirror on ourselves. So much is about self work.

I was surprised about our audience. I thought it would be straight women. The group is so varied, and includes men, the LGBTQ community, and married people. There are similarities between all our experiences in dating and relationships. 

Yue and Julie’s photo credit: Larry Wong

Watch the video here:

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