Are You Choosing Your Pet Over Your Partner?

Posted by in dating after divorce, dating in midlife | 0 comments

This guy has been attracting women who have a pet priority problem. Are you subconsciously choosing your pet over your partner?

Hi Sandy,

Being a recently divorced man starting out to find my second and hopefully final true love, I enjoyed listening to your podcast and started reading about the reasons men pull away.

One reason I pull away from women is that they put far too much energy and time on pets and treat them like their children. Should my first date questions include, “Are you choosing your pet over your partner?”

One woman I’d been on a few dates with finally invited me to her home, and I spent the night.  I was awakened several times by her Yorkie breaking out into a full on BARK! YAP YAP YAP!! because a cat was crossing the yard outside. After I asked her to not let the animal interfere with our “one-on-one time”, she wouldn’t kennel the animal to prevent further disturbances.  It got to the point where we could not get 15 minutes of intimacy without her turning to the animal screaming, “NO!” because it wanted attention and was sticking its nose in our faces while we were kissing. 

Another woman I hadn’t met yet but had been talking online for a few days, told me her life is devoted to rescuing dogs. I thought that was a great thing, caring and nurturing.  Then she told me she spent over $10,000 doing cancer therapy for a recent rescue, and now she barely has enough money to eat. She asked if it’s okay if I don’t ask her to go dutch on our first date.  It’s one thing to give to help an animal rescue if you have the means, but not if you become destitute yourself. I never spoke with her again.

Put yourself and your man above your animals…or else this man will disappear!


Are You Choosing Your Pet Over Your Partner?

Dear Richard,

I love hearing from men, so thank you for taking the time to listen to my podcasts and read my work, and for writing in about your experience with women and their pets.

To be honest, this is the first I’ve heard of women choosing their pets over their partner. It makes so much sense. When you’re looking for a relationship, you want someone to prioritize your needs and balance their love for their pet with their growing love for you.

I guess pets are a potential red flag for you, and you need to check out whether a woman will prioritize you over her animals. I sure hope so. You sound like a quality guy (with a great sense of humor)!

Bark bark,


Are you subconsciously choosing your pet over your partner? Please comment below!


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