Are You Codependent?

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are you codependent

Are you codependent? In this video, I define codependency behaviors and how they show up in dating and relationships.

Are you codependent? When dating or in a relationship, do you tend to put a man’s needs before your own? Do you lose a sense of self? If so, you may be behaving in codependent ways. In this video, I reveal the signs of codependent behavior and how you can have healthier relationships.

Are You Codependent?

What’s codependency?

Codependency refers to any enmeshed relationship in which one person believes they need to tend to someone else’s needs while losing their own sense of autonomy.

Codependent behavior generally involves:

  • Self-sacrifice
  • Focusing on others first
  • A need for control
  • Difficulty expressing emotions and setting boundaries

Signs of codependency:

  • Difficulty trusting yourself or others
  • The desire to fix/save people in order to feel needed
  • Putting others’ needs before your own
  • Discomfort with conflict and decision-making
  • Fear of losing a partner and other relationships

If you’re codependent, it can be hard to express your feelings, because you are so used to making other people’s needs more important.

You feel valued when others need you or can’t live without you. And that’s why you end up choosing partners who are needy, unhealthy, inconsiderate, and/or have addiction or mental health issues.

What can you do to heal codependent behavior?

  1. Before doing for others, pause and ask yourself, ‘What’s important to me? What am I giving up to support others?’ 
  2. Find a list of core values on the web, and choose your top ten. Then narrow it down to your top five. Those are the values you must honor from now on, no matter what.
  3. Create healthy boundaries to protect those values, so you don’t lose yourself in support of others.
  4. Stop the auto-yes. When someone asks for a favor, practice the 24-hour rule. Waiting a day before answering provides you with time to process what you really want to do, rather than what they want. 
  5. When making decisions throughout the day, ask yourself, ‘Does this feed me or drain me?’ If it’s healthy for you, it will feed your soul. If it’s codependent behavior, it will drain you.
  6. Practice healthy ways to take care of yourself. 

Over time, if you practice these six steps, you can break the pattern of codependency and have healthy relationships.

If you need more support, join the Woman of Value Club today. We’re featuring a special guest, Jessica Baum, who will be hosting a 1 1/2 hour masterclass on Monday, July 11th, on codependency and anxious attachment. Join here for only $7 the first month!

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to find your last first date, sign up for a complimentary 1/2 hour breakthrough session with Sandy

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook

Get a copy of Sandy’s book, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love.


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