Are You Dating in Goblin Mode?

Posted by in dating in midlife, online dating after 40 | 0 comments

goblin mode

Goblin Mode was the buzzword of 2022. In this video, I explain what it means and why many people believe it’s the perfect way to date.

In 2022, the Oxford word of the year was ‘goblin mode’, which means being unapologetically you without worrying about what others think. It was inspired by living through the pandemic, and realizing the only way to live is in goblin mode. According to a TikTok post in December of 2022, it’s “when you wake up at 2am and shuffle into the kitchen wearing nothing but a long T-shirt to make a weird snack, like melted cheese on saltines. It’s about a complete lack of aesthetic.”

How to Date in Goblin Mode

As a dating strategy, it means approaching every date as your authentic self. After living through the pandemic, what do you have to lose? And by showing up this way, you give your date permission to do the same. 

It means showing your quirkiness from the beginning, instead of bringing your zipped up representative to first dates, where everyone is on their best behavior. It means removing your mask of perfection and showing your vulnerable side.

In an article in, the recommendation is to bring a ‘whatever’ attitude to dating. Update your online dating profile to say you’re in goblin mode. Love me or leave me is the message here!

Next, when preparing for your date, don’t spend as much time getting your hair or nails done. Come as you are. If your date doesn’t like it, too bad. This is you, and it’s better to find out sooner rather than later. 

My thoughts…

While Goblin Mode has some upsides, like being more authentic and not being fake on dates, it can go too far in the ‘let it all hang out’ department. It takes time to reveal all the parts of you, and if you share too much too soon, you can sabotage a potential relationship.

So, I vote YES on being more authentic, not spending tons of time preparing your hair and makeup for a first date, and revealing more of your true self, including some of your quirks early on in dating. I also believe in not attaching to the outcome of every date, and letting go of expectations when dating.

However, I vote NO on having a ‘whatever’ attitude in dating. Full on Goblin Mode would have you show up to dates with pajama pants, unwashed hair, and sharing your biggest flaws. No one benefits from that!

How do you feel about dating in Goblin Mode? Please share your thoughts.

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy and explore how private coaching can help!

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