Avoid the Catfish in Online Dating

Posted by in dating after divorce, dating in midlife, online dating after 40, red flags in relationships | 0 comments

kevin darneMy second radio show today was about avoiding the catfish in online dating. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, a catfish is someone who poses as someone else in online dating. Often, he/she asks for money. It’s important to recognize the signs of a catfish, and my guest, Kevin Darné, shared many great tips with us. He is the President & CEO of Conation Enterprises, helping people facilitate change within in order to bring about change without. He is the author of My Cat Won’t Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany), a dating and relationship advice book which encourages the use of introspective thinking, complete awareness, realistic expectations, and self-empowerment techniques.

Kevin is also a Chicago Dating Examiner for Examiner.com providing advice and guidance in the tricky world of dating through his published articles. Following are highlights of our radio show. To hear the entire episode, click here.

1. Why do you think online dating gets such a bad rap?Online dating didn’t invent liars and cheaters. They existed before. When something makes the news, we have a bad reaction towards it. The stories that make the news about online dating are often the ones about cheaters and liars. The problem is, many people don’t take responsibility for their own choices in online dating. For example, if you go to the grocery store and buy an onion instead of an apple, do you blame the grocery store? No, you learn to make better choices next time.

Many people go to the free sites first because there’s no charge. You will have to do a lot of digging to find quality people on the free sites.

All sites are not all the same. You wouldn’t consider a night at the Four Seasons Hotel to be the same as a night at Motel 6 because they are both hotels and both have tv’s and beds.

Check out datingadvice.com for a good unbiased list of the online dating sites that are out there.

To find the best site for you, figure out the kind of person you’re looking for. Then figure out what sites those people might be on.


2. Is online dating worthwhile for someone over the age of 40?

If you went through the disco era of dating, you probably don’t want that at this age. And you don’t want to be the senior citizen at the bar. Another good option for meeting people is going to meetup.com. The people you meet might not all be single, but they will have the same interests as you.

3. Red flags: What are some things we should beware of? And is it possible to research and verify information you’ve been given?

Most romance scammers are a long distance relationship so you can’t easily meet in person.

One lady who was recently on Dr. Phil sent $63,000 to someone she never met! Anyone asking for money is a major red flag. You can check scammers out on http://www.youreittoday.com

You can enter or check photos, even phrases from emails.

To prevent a catfishing experience where the person is not who they say they are, use video chatting with a long distance relationship. You can use Google Hangouts and Skype Google images is also great for searching photos.

Many people post fake Facebook profiles. Look for inconsistencies.

In the older age groups, check LinkedIn to see if something different comes up on their profile.

Create a folder for that person to keep track of email conversations or chats. That way you can check for the little lies. They’ll eventually trip up.

Another red flag is anyone who tries to rush you to give them your cell or who wants to meet right away.

If they only have one photo, that can be a red flag.

Click here to listen to the entire episode.

Please share any experience you may have had with an online scammer.




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