Breaking the Cycle of Abuse

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breaking the cycle of abuse

Kimberly Blackburn’s new book tells the story of breaking the cycle of abuse in her marriage. Tune in to learn how she healed.

Author Kimberly Blackburn shares her story of breaking the cycle of abuse in her new book, Dirty Love. She is working to build a community for women to better their relationships and feel supported while talking about serious issues that are still very prominent in our society. She hopes her work will inspire other women to live a more authentic life.

EP 534: Kimberly Blackburn – Breaking the Cycle of Abuse

What inspired you to finally share your story after 10 years?

After being in a relationship for ten years that was abusive, it was hard to leave. I had a lavish lifestyle. I also had a child, and realized I needed to build a new life for myself and my son. In the past two years, I felt unhappy in spite of having a full life. I then realized trauma sneaks up on you. Maybe I needed to share my story. No one really knew what happened to me. A book deal landed in my lap, and I took the opportunity to share my story and free myself from what happened. 

What do you hope your children will learn from your story?

I have two children now. I want them to normalize talking about hard things. I want them to know it’s okay to be vulnerable. I hope they recognize if they lose themselves in relationships. 

How did your lavish lifestyle play into the cycle of the abuse you experienced in your relationship?

I had every privilege anyone might want – a private jet, an amazing home. But, my husband was bipolar. High highs, and low lows. We moved, and I discovered that he was leading a double life and was under investigation by the FBI. He lied and cheated and abused me. I knew I needed a safe place. I needed to get out of this relationship. Many women lose themselves after marriage and children, like I did. I think that’s relatable. I had put so much value on a marriage, house, and child, that I didn’t value myself enough.

Can you talk about your writing process and giving yourself permission to revisit this painful time?

I don’t have a writing background, but I like creative writing. When I started writing, my body rejected the process. I had a hard time staying focused. A few weeks into the process, I began to evolve and be okay opening the old wounds. I now had perspective and wisdom I didn’t have before. So, I was able to write in a more objective place.

What do you want women to know about leaving an abusive relationship?

On average it takes women eight times to successfully leave an abusive relationship. For some women it’s fear of retaliation. It can be financial fears, or fears of what it will do to the kids, or the fear of losing yourself.

I had to escape a situation where I could have been implicated in the FBI investigation, and learning about the double life had left me so blindsided. He had a whole family down to a dog with the same name. They lived a mile and a half away. In my mind, I had no other option. It’s not as easy for most women.

Take one step to find someone who will listen to you. Find your power again. Get support. 

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

The most important thing as you’re looking for a partner is to love yourself, and to feel you’re your most authentic best self. That’s when you can find the person who compliments you in a way that’s beautiful.

Watch this episode on YouTube


Connect with Kimberly

Instagram @KJ_Blackburn

Book on Amazon:

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