I need your advice on how to help my 17-year-old daughter stop dating a textbook narcissist. He is controlling, manipulative, and a relentless mental abuser.
She is addicted to his texts, even though he calls her a slut and curses. She stands up to him a bit but always ends up apologizing. She constantly tells him how great he is and that she loves him so much.
Speaking up in dating is challenging, especially when feelings are hurt. Find out what this woman wished she could have done differently with her rude date.
I’m sharing something I read on Facebook. The woman who wrote it is a successful entrepreneur who went on a date that ended terribly. She regrets that she didn’t have the courage to speak up and let this man know that it wasn’t okay to do what he did. It’s a great illustration of the challenge of speaking up in dating, even on the very first date…
I’ve been dating Alan for three months. For the first time in years, I feel a very strong connection. I love talking to him. He is exciting, thoughtful, and fun. He “gets” me and I “get” him. With this strong chemistry comes fire and passion. But every once in a while, he says or does something that makes me concerned about his character.
For example, I recently sent him an email in which I shared something very important to me. Instead of responding with thought and kindness, he sent back a stupid, insensitive, crass, sexually explicit email that shocked me.
Psychotherapist and author Ross A. Rosenberg, is the owner and works in Clinical Care Consultants, a counseling center in the northern suburbs of Chicago. He also owns and trains with Advanced Clinical Trainers (ACT), which provides a platform for talented and inspiring trainers, leaders and experts. Ross has been a psychotherapist since 1988. He is considered an expert in codependency recovery, sex and love addiction, and Narcissistic and Borderline Personality Disorders. Ross is a licensed therapist who is also a certified addiction counselor (CADC) and certified sex addictions therapist (CSAT). He joined me on Last First Date radio for a highly informative show about how to avoid dating and falling in love with the people who hurt us. Following are loosely transcribed highlights of the show.
My second husband was a narcissist (more specifically a legend in his own mind as the Emotional Vampires author put it). I very carefully read that Emotional Vampires book to try and make better decisions, but unfortunately, I got snagged by another one!
This one is much more slick and much quicker than ever before. I met him online on Plenty of Fish. We’re in our late 40s. His last marriage lasted a year. I am a very compassionate a person and have a strange attraction to helping broken people. Within about 6 weeks he figured out how to play my sympathy card and moved in. It’s been four months now.
About a month ago, I told him I was miserable, the relationship wasn’t working for me, and I thought it best that he find his own place. All serious conversations happen over text, because he can’t even look at me during a conversation about our relationship. Then he starts fixing a few things that were making me unhappy and pulls the great sex night card and figures the move-out subject is tabled. He has barely taken me out these four months except for a few dinners at the same restaurant. He’s never introduced me to his friends, and has blown off every outing I’ve tried to plan.
I have a 14-month old baby girl with a man who left when she was only 6-weeks old. I wouldn’t agree with him on certain things, and he was hurtful, cruel, and very vindictive. He came back when she was 6-months old. But now he’s moved out and left me with the baby again to chase success and the millions he says he’s going to make. Of course he blamed the parting on me. I now know better than that. I know now that this is a good thing, but I’m so sad for our daughter. Before he left, he admitted that he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and ADD. He has no compassion nor empathy. How do spend the next 18 years dealing with him coming in and out of our life? I tried being kind and nice so we wouldn’t fight. I even asked him to sign over his right to her so I wouldn’t have to go back and forth with him, but of course he said no. How do I deal with a deadbeat dad for the next 18 years?