5 Warning Signs that Your “Nice Guy” Is Actually a Jerk

jerkToday’s guest post is by Sarah Williams, a lifestyle writer specializing in dating advice . Her mission is to help busy men of all ages to find true fulfillment in social life. You can connect with Sarah on her blog.

Women often behave irrationally when it comes to dating and emotions. I’m a prime example of this. I would never admit that I like to date jerks, but somehow I keep ending up with them. Perhaps I subconsciously eliminate the good guys and feel attracted only to the biggest jerks.

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Help! My Daughter is Dating a Narcissist

daughter is dating a narcissistHi Sandy,

I need your advice on how to help my 17-year-old daughter stop dating a textbook narcissist. He is controlling, manipulative, and a relentless mental abuser.

She is addicted to his texts, even though he calls her a slut and curses. She stands up to him a bit but always ends up apologizing. She constantly tells him how great he is and that she loves him so much. 

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The Challenge of Speaking Up in Dating

speak your truth in dating

Speaking up in dating is challenging, especially when feelings are hurt. Find out what this woman wished she could have done differently with her rude date.

 

I’m sharing something I read on Facebook. The woman who wrote it is a successful entrepreneur who went on a date that ended terribly. She regrets that she didn’t have the courage to speak up and let this man know that it wasn’t okay to do what he did. It’s a great illustration of the challenge of speaking up in dating, even on the very first date…

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Are You Dating A Jerk (or just a guy behaving badly)?

dating a jerkDear Sandy,

I’ve been dating Alan for three months. For the first time in years, I feel a very strong connection. I love talking to him. He is exciting, thoughtful, and fun. He “gets” me and I “get” him. With this strong chemistry comes fire and passion. But every once in a while, he says or does something that makes me concerned about his character.

For example, I recently sent him an email in which I shared something very important to me. Instead of responding with thought and kindness, he sent back a stupid, insensitive, crass, sexually explicit email that shocked me.

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Codependency Recovery: How to Stop Loving the People Who Hurt You

codependencyPsychotherapist and author Ross A. Rosenberg, is the owner and works in Clinical Care Consultants, a counseling center in the northern suburbs of Chicago. He also owns and trains with Advanced Clinical Trainers (ACT), which provides a platform for talented and inspiring trainers, leaders and experts. Ross has been a psychotherapist since 1988. He is considered an expert in codependency recovery, sex and love addiction, and Narcissistic and Borderline Personality Disorders. Ross is a licensed therapist who is also a certified addiction counselor (CADC) and certified sex addictions therapist (CSAT). He joined me on Last First Date radio for a highly informative show about how to avoid dating and falling in love with the people who hurt us. Following are loosely transcribed highlights of the show.

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Breaking the Narcissist Relationship Pattern

narcissist relationshipSandy, 

My second husband was a narcissist (more specifically a legend in his own  mind as the Emotional Vampires author put it). I very carefully read that Emotional Vampires book to try and make better decisions, but unfortunately, I got snagged by another one!

This one is much more slick and much quicker than ever before. I met him online on Plenty of Fish.  We’re in our late 40s. His last marriage lasted a year.  I am a very compassionate a person and have a strange attraction to helping broken people.  Within about 6 weeks he figured out how to play my sympathy card and moved in.  It’s been four months now. 

About a month ago, I told him I was miserable, the relationship wasn’t working for me, and I thought it best that he find his own place. All serious conversations happen over text, because he can’t even look at me during a conversation about our relationship.  Then he starts fixing a few things that were making me unhappy and pulls the great sex night card and figures the move-out subject is tabled. He has barely taken me out these four months except for a few dinners at the same restaurant.  He’s never introduced me to his friends, and has blown off every outing I’ve tried to plan.

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