If you’ve ever dated toxic people, my co-host Rhoberta Shaler and I created a video just for you.

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As a dating coach, it’s my mission to keep you away from toxic people, to keep you safe and sane as you navigate the often confusing world of dating after 40. Controlling people, which Dr. Shaler calls ‘Hijackals’, put on a good show to win your heart, and it’s easy to fall under their intoxicating spell. Notice that the word ‘intoxicating’ contains the root word ‘toxic’? I just realized that as I was typing. Hmmm. That should tell you a lot about who NOT to date, right?

Technology is ever-changing, and it’s a challenge to keep up with all the new social media tools out there. Most people my age are not even comfortable with Facebook—forget about Twitter and Google plus, Pinterest and Instagram!

I love learning about the latest in technology, and I’ve been intrigued by a new social media platform called Blab, defined as “a place to watch, join, and interact with live conversations about the topics that matter most to you.” It’s like a public Skype with up to four screens streaming live at the same time. Anyone can join and ask questions in the live chat. It’s super cool, and the quality is excellent.

I thought it would be a fantastic platform for sharing my message about smarter dating to a wider audience. So, I invited my good friend and colleague, Bobbi Palmer, CEO of Date Like a Grownup, to co-host a blab with me about the 5 dating red flags every woman over 40 should know before they get involved.

Today’s guest post is by Sarah Williams, a lifestyle writer specializing in dating advice. Her mission is to help busy men of all ages to find true fulfillment in social life.

Women often behave irrationally when it comes to dating and emotions. I’m a prime example of this. I would never admit that I like to date jerks, but somehow I keep ending up with them. Perhaps I subconsciously eliminate the good guys and feel attracted only to the biggest jerks.

Hi Sandy,

I need your advice on how to help my 17-year-old daughter stop dating a textbook narcissist. He is controlling, manipulative, and a relentless mental abuser.

She is addicted to his texts, even though he calls her a slut and curses. She stands up to him a bit but always ends up apologizing. She constantly tells him how great he is and that she loves him so much. 

Speaking up in dating is challenging, especially when feelings are hurt. Find out what this woman wished she could have done differently with her rude date.

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I’m sharing something I read on Facebook. The woman who wrote it is a successful entrepreneur who went on a date that ended terribly. She regrets that she didn’t have the courage to speak up and let this man know that it wasn’t okay to do what he did. It’s a great illustration of the challenge of speaking up in dating, even on the very first date…

Dear Sandy,

I’ve been dating Alan for three months. For the first time in years, I feel a very strong connection. I love talking to him. He is exciting, thoughtful, and fun. He “gets” me and I “get” him. With this strong chemistry comes fire and passion. But every once in a while, he says or does something that makes me concerned about his character.

For example, I recently sent him an email in which I shared something very important to me. Instead of responding with thought and kindness, he sent back a stupid, insensitive, crass, sexually explicit email that shocked me.