Online Dating Emails

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Before

…reading your profile interested me…although you might consider me “GU” (geographically undesirable), I think we have a lot in common…if you find any interest in my profile and are not uncomfortable to venture outside the box, I hope you might consider a return contact. 

All Best, 

Cindy

This email has a few no-nos. Grammatically, there are no caps and it’s filled with multiple ellipsis, those annoying three dots. Use good grammar in your emails. Spellcheck is your best friend. You will be judged for every word you write. This is your first impression. Cindy also used a lot of negative language (you might consider me “GU – or geographically undesirable”). Be positive. And finally, there is nothing specific about why she was interested in his profile. It feels generic, and could have been written to anyone.

After

Nice to see a well-written profile with a focus on good values and continued growth. You mention that you like to tell off-the-wall stories. I love a good story. I’ll share one of mine if you share one of yours. 

Looking forward to hearing from you,

Cindy

Notice how she is specific about what drew her to his profile. She’s a little flirty and asks a question. This type of email gets noticed and evokes a response.

Before

Read your profile and I think you are terrific. 

Am 66, a lawyer by training into other ventures – build small shopping centers, live nicely in a northern suburb of PHL, play golf at one of the areas clubs, fly, been diving and sailing all over the world (G. Cayman was the best), sit on several charitable boards no kiddies unfortunately and am looking for a partner with whom to share life. 

Just finished a yr long restoration/expansion of a FLW home here in XXXX in which I live. To me a relationship is based on a tripod – trust, respect and ‘juice.’ Easy to describe tough to find all three in one person. 

Have a place in Boca on the water -am here- where I spend time in the winter. . If I have evoked some interest you may reach me at XXX-XXX-XXXX. 

Wish you a happy and healthy New Yr. 

Regards, 

George 

This guy is not specific about why he is writing to her. It feels like a form letter. He could have written it to anyone. All the information in this email should have been in his profile essay, not his initial email. He gives his phone number in the first email. She doesn’t write him back because he hasn’t touched her heart in any way. And the way he portrays himself feels desperate and needy; showing off his assets, defending his lack of children, sending his phone number.

After

Hey there! I noticed that you traveled to Bryce Canyon in your twenties. Me, too! What a gorgeous part of the US, huh? My bucket list includes Barcelona, the Greek Isles, and Ireland. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?

Best,

George

He obviously has read her profile and picked out something that is important to her. He tells her why it resonated with him, and ends with a provocative question. This email will get a response. 

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