Communication Hacks for Dating and Relationships

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This new app can help with communication and flirting with your online dating match. Check it out…

Ray Christian is the founder and CEO of Textpert, an app for “Drama Solved Anonymously”. You ask questions about dating, you get answers. You’ll also improve your communication skills in texting and emailing dates.

After years in the corporate world, Ray founded Textpert as a platform for young adults to get relationship advice from anonymous friends. He has become an expert in the dating world and social media, and has been featured in the Huffington Post, BuiltInLA, and many other outlets.

Ray was a recent guest on Last First Date Radio, discussing how the communication landscape in dating and relationships has changed.

Highlights of the show below…

Communication Hacks for Dating and Relationships

Why did you start Textpert?

It started with a girl. I was smitten. I had a few dates with her, but I couldn’t get the third date. I’d call and she wouldn’t pick up. I’d text and she answered 12 hours later. I finally gave up, thinking she was out of my league.

I met with my sister, and asked her to text the girl. A response came back in five minutes. Then it came back instantly! Then she said, “I want to see you tonight!” My sister knew exactly what this woman needed to hear. 

The right advice can make all the difference. 

How have communication and technology changes affected dating?

We’ve done some focus groups and polls to find out why people asking so many questions about dating. We found that there’s a lot of advice out there, but people don’t want awkward communication on social media.

Also, texting has gone too far. It should be logistical at the beginning. People start writing novellas back and forth instead of getting off text.

I use this line with women I’m texting: “It’s a rule of mine to get on the phone before meeting on a date. How do you feel about that?”

On a second or third date, you can say, “Let’s play a game and look at our most commonly used emojis.” This makes dating fun instead of feeling like an interview!

What is your company doing to make dating easier?

Let’s say you have a challenge or opportunity in dating. For example, you need to choose between two men. Or there are logistical issues with distance or a newly divorced man. You go on Textpert, post your question anonymously, and get answers.

If you’re flummoxed about a text, you can take a screen shot and ask how to answer it. You may get advice from 4 or 5 people, and choose the one you like the best. You will get objective, unbiased advice. 

How can the over 40 daters be better at using technology with dating?

  1. You can send statements about something funny that happened to you that day and then a question. For example, “I just saw a kid get an ice cream cone and it fell. It was the saddest thing. Hey, how’s your day.” You’re building rapport. 
  2. Use more emojis. One or two every few texts.
  3. Don’t write big paragraphs. Write big sized chunks. No more than five lines. Break it up.
  4. Don’t always text back immediately. Men like the chase. Leverage it to your benefit.
  5. Don’t always be available. When he’s asking you out for  the second or third date, whatever night he suggests, be busy. Offer a different night. Give the illusion of scarcity. Let a man feel like he’s chasing.

Listen to the episode here. 

Or here in iTunes, where you can download any of our archived shows. We’ve got over 220 shows!

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