Crazy Things People Do When Dating
My first radio guest last night was the lovely Lisa Renee. She is a singer and song writer turned published expert on relationships. Lisa Renee is the author of the relationships books “Silly” and “Faking the Funk”. She is an Associate Director for a high profile company. She’s been in leadership for over 14 years, and has learned that employees wouldn’t be at their best if their personal relationships were not doing well. She used her own personal dating struggles and unique talents to connect with them. She showed genuine concern, and inspired and motivated employees through the crazy things people do when dating.
Following are highlights from the first half of last nights’ show. To listen to the podcast, click here.
|1. How did you get into writing relationship books?Every day, I dealt with employee relationships, and I realized I couldn’t get them to function well unless I understood what was happening at home. I learned to focus on the person and the results come. John Maxwell said “People don’t care how much you know. They want to know how much you care.”
2. What are the Silly/Crazy things people do when dating?
When I divorced, I could relate to the crazy things people do when dating. I learned several things while dating.
Dating adaption. You’re on a first date and you’re excited. You’re looking at him, and he’s looking at you. You’re looking at him, he’s looking at his phone! We adapt those behaviors and excuse them. When people show you who they are, believe them. If you don’t have their undivided attention, that’s who they are.
Another crazy thing people do when dating is when on a first date, many women and men think too far down the line. Think of dating as a sales call. All you need to be concerned with is, ‘Am I going to see this person again?’ Don’t reveal too much at the beginning.
When someone breaks up, what’s the first thing you hear? I’m a victim. Get over it! Put yourself first. When something doesn’t turn out the way you thought it would, it’s for a reason. In a Tango dance, there’s a leader and a follower. You played a part in the relationship. Change happens within. Ask yourself, ‘What could I have done differently?’
I like to think of breakups like Baskin Robbins ice cream. When I put too big of a scoop on a cone, it falls off. Don’t pick it up – it’s dirty. Go back into Baskin Robbins and get a new scoop. Leave the old scoop.
People are in your life for a reason or a season or a lifetime. If it didn’t work out, it’s probably not conducive to your lifetime.
3. Can people find love over the age 40?
Yes! I’m 41 and I got remarried to a great guy. When I was single, I asked myself, what can I do differently? I learned to point the finger back at myself and stop blaming being single on the lack of good men. They are out there. Examine your part in a break of a relationship that didn’t work out. Ask, how’s that working for you? Change starts from within. I knew I was a beautiful package, but I didn’t know how to teach men to treat me well. I went celibate, had a marriage proposal and turned him down. He was pissed off, so I tried online dating. I went on ChristianMingle.com. Steve reached out to me and it was fast!
4. How do good relationships work?
Text less, talk more. this will lead to clear communication. My husband have a date night every Friday and we put all gadgets away.
5. Lisa Renee, do you have a last dose of advice for us grown, successful, sexy singles?
It’s possible to find love, but it takes work. Love grows when you find the right partner.
As Lisa promised my listeners, with the purchase of “Silly”, she will give them a copy of my first book, “Faking The Funk” for free. Once they purchase “Silly”, they can contact Lisa Renee through her website. In the subject line, put promo code “Sandy” and in the bottom of the email. Add your order number, name and address for shipment. This is her way of saying thank you and giving you another resource for dating success!
The book will be available at 6pm, PST at www.tsimohent.com
Listen to the whole episode and download the podcast here.