Create Your Vision For Love

Posted by in dating after divorce, dating in midlife, love after 40, online dating after 40 | 2 comments

last first date radioYesterday’s radio show was extra special. I interviewed my good friend and colleague, Jane Pollak, about how she manifested her boyfriend by creating a vision for love. Jane Pollak  is a living example of how to turn a passion into a thriving business. She’s a successful entrepreneur, public speaker, author and business coach. Jane launched her business career in the unlikely field of egg decoration!

The lessons Jane learned along the way led her to share her story and give advice to women entrepreneurs, traveling the country and beyond. In 2010 she re-released her book, Soul Proprietor: 101 Lessons from a Lifestyle Entrepreneur,” with updated lessons including how to pursue your dream during an economic downturn and how to use new technology to authentically promote your business. In addition, Jane found love in midlife after her divorce, and her story is very inspiring. Following are some loosely transcribed highlights of the show…

Sandy: How would you go about creating a vision for a desirable partner?

Jane: I started by thinking of my friends’ husbands, the ones I held in high regard. Then, I created a spreadsheet of the qualities in those men that I admired, such as compassionate, kind, does yoga. Then I narrowed down the qualities that really lined up perfectly for me. I came up with 39 characteristics: sexy, compassionate, able to stay in controversy, good communicator. My boyfriend Dave hit every point on the list! Some are showing up differently than I had expected, such as financially secure. That really means that he has domain over his finances. Dave’s currency is more in service to others rather than financial gain. He’s rich in everything that’s important to me. He’s the most generous person I’ve ever met.

Sandy: Wow, I love that you found everything you were looking for! You mentioned that you wanted to be taken care of. I know you’re a very independent woman. Just to clarify for our listeners, what is being taken care of to you?

Jane: He protects me by always walking on the curbside so I don’t get splashed. He’s one step ahead of me in my food requirements. He checks to see that the restaurant has something for me to eat. He knows what I like and what I take in my coffee. That’s what I mean by taking care of me.

Sandy: Did you feel like you were being greedy asking for all those qualities?

Jane: Not really. I didn’t ask for anything from a mate that I didn’t have for myself. For example, a good listener is a good communication skill, and I wanted that. I love to read and wanted someone who is well-read, someone who brings something interesting to the relationship. Dave emails me a video or article every morning. He is interested in life. There is a certain level of being part of the human race that I want someone to share with me. Dave has that.

Sandy: Were you surprised to be able to find someone who fit your description?

Jane: Absolutely! I dated for a year and a half before meeting Dave. And I knew immediately that he was special.

Sandy: How can our listeners create their own vision for love?

Jane: Take some time. Write a list of who you’d like to be in a relationship with. Make a list of the qualities in a person that really matter for you. Have the courage to do that. Many people are too scared to ask for what they want in life. If you don’t create a vision for what you want, how can you attain it?

To listen to the entire podcast, click here. 

For more dating advice and a copy of my FREE report, “The Top Three Mistakes Midlife Daters Make (and how to turn them around to find love now)” please click here.

For exclusive articles and tips on dating, relating and mating in midlife & updates on my weekly radio show, please ‘like’ my Facebook page.



  1. I speak about the creating space (emotionally, physically, spiritually) for a new love to enter your life. Or anything to enter your life. But I focus on next steps to new love. It starts with clarity around what you want, as this article attests. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want.

  2. Mindy,

    It sounds like you are doing great work in preparing for new love. I agree, you need to create the space for love, and you need to be comfortable with asking for what you want.

    Thanks for your comment and all the best to you in impacting others.

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