Creating Relationship Patterns that Work
One of my radio guests this week, Danyelle Beaudry, is the author of several books, including; “I’m right, You need to Change”, “Successful Partners in Life” and 3 more books. She’s been coaching individuals and couples for over 20 years. She speaks in the US and in Canada and teaches the Voel program, designed to empower individuals to achieve their life goals by releasing old patterns (mind, heart and body) and creating new empowered patterns of behavior. Most importantly, she’s a mother of 3 and a grandmother of 6. Danyelle spoke to my radio audience about creating relationship patterns that work. Following are loosely transcripted highlights of yesterday’s show.
|1. How do I identify the dating/relationship patterns that haven’t worked in the past?
First, take your power back. The relationship ended. Be honest about that relationship. Did that person really work for you? Don’t just ask what you did wrong. Ask yourself, did he/she represent what i wanted? Maybe they were abusive. Did you compromise your personal needs and wants? Be grateful for the gifts of that relationship. If you did have your needs met, look within. Serial daters go from one relationship to the next without stopping, so stop and breathe deeply. Pay attention to the signs. Maybe you contradicted him in the relationship? Maybe you didn’t support their dreams? Identify those patterns and work on changing them.
2. How can I transform these into new empowered patterns?
There are four actions to release old patterns and create new ones.
1. Take the time to transform yourself and change your pattern. Your pattern took a long time to develop.
2. Take the time to do some healing work so you transform. Find the anchor. Why do these patterns keep repeating themselves? Maybe you were modeling your relationship after your parent. Look within and figure out where the pattern came from.
3. Release the anchor. For example, re-experience how was it for you when you watched your parents fighting. Imagine you’re a little girl and you’re watching your parents fighting. Let go of the fear within so you can heal.
4. Create new patterns that work modeled after what you were not doing. The anchor is the fear you’re holding in your body.