Cultivate Your Relationship by Creating Unique Customs
When does a romantic relationship jump from being casual to serious? Do you stop saying “hello” when you answer the phone and just pick up the conversation where you last left off? Do you stop calling it a “date” and start calling it “dinner”? When do you start tracking the milestones?
No matter what the status of your relationship, you know the moment where everything changes — where it stops being “me” and “you” and starts being “we.” From that point on, you’re working to build a future together and trying to enrich your relationship with customs and traditions that are all your own. The best of these are born naturally out of your relationship — your common interests and favorite places — but there also are ways to create meaningful ones that you can share for a lifetime. Here are just a few ways you can cultivate your relationship by creating unique customs.
3 Ways to Cultivate Your Relationship by Creating Unique Customs
1. Start by Being Yourselves
Each person in a relationship shows up to the table with a distinct identity that is formed by cultural customs and family traditions. When you’re just starting out, it’s important that you each respect the customs and traditions of the other while also taking the time to learn more about them. As the relationship grows more serious, find ways to incorporate each other into these traditions or find ways to combine them into all new ones. Even if you come from different backgrounds, many customs have a lot in common. For example, what culture doesn’t love to get together with family for a large meal? You learn pretty quickly that it’s only the flavors and accents that change.
2. Be Your Own Historian
When your relationship is new, it’s easy to remember the milestones. But as time moves on and the list of important events grows longer, you might need some help. Of course, you can always use a calendar or day planner to help keep time, but if you really want to capture the distinct moments that define your relationship, pick up a copy of Q&A a Day. This 5-year journal contains exactly 365 pages with a single question on each and room for five year’s worth of responses. So with some time and patience, you end up with an incredible document that shows how your relationship has evolved over the span of a few years. Make it a habit to answer a question with your partner every day and buy a new book every five years to watch your relationship grow.
3. Don’t Be Afraid to Be Unique
When trying to develop customs and traditions, it can be difficult to shut out the influence of the outside world. You want to be unique and be true to your relationship. Remember, creating traditions doesn’t mean that you have to stick to a script.
For example, when it’s time to tie the knot, choose rings that show off your personalities. Choose a colored diamond or the stone of the month of your anniversary. Custom design a ring for your partner or choose your rings together. No matter what you choose, whether it’s traditional, modern or somewhere in between, be sure your special moment says something about you as a couple.