Dating in Midlife: Does Age Really Matter?

Posted by in communication skills in dating, dating after divorce, dating in midlife | 0 comments

dating in midlifeJeff Zeth is a social worker, parent, coach, mentor, and musician. With 25 years of experience helping people change, he’s also just your average guy who figured things out, with the help of some wise teachers who challenged and inspired him. He’s a published author in the area of men’s issues and addiction, and he blogs at

Following are highlights of our radio interview about dating in midlife: does age really matter?

Dating in Midlife: Does Age Really Matter?

What are the biggest differences between dating as a young adult and dating in midlife?

I can speak from personal experience and the experience of a lot of the people I work with. In your twenties and thirties, it’s kind of okay to drift along and not know what you want. That’s the kiss of death in midlife. Men are expected to know what they want at this age. If you don’t address this, you can find yourself at a disadvantage in dating and relationships. It’s relatively easy to meet people when you’re in college. When you’re out in the world at this age, you have to take initiative to meet your life partner.

A big part of meeting someone special is knowing what you want. Know who you want to meet. Choose to put your attention on it. Then put yourself in the environments where you’re most likely to meet your ideal partner. I want men to think about women in real life, not in the abstract. I help men feel better about their bodies and have the confidence to find love.

What do men at this age believe about women?

They often think that women are narcissistic, stuck up, and only want wealthy, good looking guys. Most women will tell you it’s not about the money or the looks. A lot of men take their own shallow side and see that in women. It’s sad when a guy can’t get past that.

What mindset is helpful when dating in midlife?

It’s important to play to your strength and be who you are —someone who’s seen and experienced things in the world. Don’t try and emulate the behavior of young people. Don’t dress like you’re 25! Instead, choose clothes that express who you are. Put yourself in environments that will let you shine. Date online. Online dating is growing. Go ballroom or salsa dancing to meet good people. is also a great way to meet quality singles. 

How can you handle sexual issues at this age?

There are many medical interventions that are now available. For guys, you need to be willing to admit that you’re not the same man at 70 as you were at 20. Then you can get the help you need. Being openminded is important. Safety and comfort are important. There is a certain amount of risk that’s necessary in relationships. I believe it’s incumbent upon a man to take risks in dating. In The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida, he discusses masculine-oriented people who grow through challenge. Feminine-oriented people grow through praise. Showing vulnerability and getting out of your comfort zone is the task of a man. Women need to figure out a way to express their strength in a way that’s not emasculating to men.

To listen to the entire episode, please click here. 




  1. How I Fell in Love With an Online Dating Profile - - […] begin to write about myself in a profile essay, and where would I find current photos to post? I was…

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

AlphaOmega Captcha Classica  –  Enter Security Code

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.