Dating Then and Now

Posted by in dating after divorce, single women over 40 | 3 comments

When I was sixteen, one of my favorite movies was Jeremy, starring Robby Benson, my high school celebrity crush (one of many, including Davy Jones from the Monkees). You may not have heard of Robby Benson, and frankly, I almost forgot about him until my twenty-year-old son told me that he had recently watched Jeremy on Netflix. Pretty obscure that he found that movie, but it jarred a memory of a scene, the one where the teenagers, Jeremy and Susie, make love for the first time on the floor of his bedroom on a rainy day. That romantic scene became my template for relationships for many years to come. Why?

First, a brief synopsis of this movie: awkward teenaged boy, Jeremy, plays the cello at school. He meets a cute girl, Susie, who’s new to town and dances ballet. They slowly, awkwardly, painfully, fall in love. Kind of like my life as a teen.

As I watched Jeremy again last night, I realized a few things.

1. This movie kinda sucked. Bad writing, bad acting.

2. I can’t believe I had a crush on Robby Benson! He’s awkward, his teeth are weird, and his glasses are huge!

3. Of course I had a crush on Robby Benson! He’s romantic, sweet, goofy, smart, talented…

4. I remembered what I loved most about that love scene. It was the way Jeremy and Susie built up slowly to lovemaking, and how they tenderly touched each other’s faces, stroking a cheek, touching a lip. That’s how I wanted my relationships to be, loving and tender.

That was then.

This is now. 

Dating again after divorce, I am smarter, more savvy, not as starry-eyed. But, that teenage ideal of tenderness still applies.

Many of us want to fall again. We want real love, the kind that lasts.

I know that I want to cherish someone as they will cherish me, for my talents, for my personality, for all of me, the good and the not so good.

So, while this movie was a little boring and painful to watch, I remembered why it stuck in my memory for so long. I still want a relationship that’s as tender-loving and sweet as the one in the movie, Jeremy.

I may be grown up now, and some of my needs might have changed, but deep down in my core, I am still that teenage girl who doesn’t want to settle for anything less than real lasting, tender, sweet love. How about you?




  1. Jeremy indeed is an awesome movie. Reminds me of old time ahh Memories!

  2. really good information about dating keep it up.

  3. Thank you, Mukesh!

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