Divorced on Father’s Day. What’s an ex to do?

Posted by in understanding men over 40 | 0 comments

Divorced on father's dayToday is Father’s Day here in North America. You’re divorced. How do you celebrate? There are many options, and most of them are complicated. Divorced on Father’s Day. What’s an ex to do?

Divorced on Father’s Day. What’s an ex to do?

Option A
Join your ex for a barbecue at his house. You, the kids, your ex…and his new girlfriend and her three kids. One big happy family, right? Could be awkward, unless you all have a great relationship. But that doesn’t happen very often.

Option B
The kids spend the day with their dad. You spend the day with YOUR dad. Everyone is happy. But, not necessarily. Depends on the kids’ relationship with their dad, your relationship with your dad, and whether or not there is a dad in the picture.

Option C
Dad has a contentious relationship with the kids, and they don’t want to spend Father’s Day with him. So they don’t. Sounds like a great plan. But, it is Father’s Day. Your kids might feel bad that their dad has abandoned them.  And even though Dad is not in the picture much, he might get angry that they have rejected him on his special day. Not so easy…

Father's Day giftGift or No Gift?

Then, there’s the issue of whether or not you give your ex a gift (or buy one for the kids to gift to Dad).

You send flowers. Or a tie. Or tickets to a game. Or a box of chocolates. Or have the kids make him a card. Or do nothing at all.

Yes, being divorced on Father’s Day can be complicated. There is no ‘right’ way to do things. I believe each person needs to decide what works best for him or her.

For the record, I am doing option B. Kids are kayaking with Dad in the morning, joining me in visiting my dad in the afternoon. Works for me and the kids.

What will you be doing this Father’s Day?

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