Do You Love Yourself First?

Posted by in dating in midlife, love after 40, self-esteem in dating | 0 comments

love yourself firstLove yourself first? The first time I read about the importance of self-love, I didn’t buy into the concept. We’re living in the “me” generation. Don’t we have enough navel gazing? Isn’t our society saturated with enough narcissists? What’s up with all this self-love? We were taught to be humble. “Don’t talk about yourself.” “Be nice to others and put yourself last.” Those were the messages of my childhood, and I’ll bet you can relate. So, why must you love yourself first before attracting a healthy romantic partnership?

This quote by John Lennon sums up the importance of self-love.

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”

– John Lennon

Do you love yourself first?

This type of self-love is about confidence. It’s about believing in yourself. It’s about honoring your needs and feelings. It’s about self-care – whatever that looks like to you. Maybe it’s about finding your passion and following your bliss, instead of following someone else’s vision of what you ‘should’ be doing with your life. It’s about taking care of your body, mind, and spirit so that you’re always striving to live your best life.

It’s also about self-compassion. It’s about forgiving yourself for your mistakes and imperfections. It’s about falling in love with those imperfections and learning from the mistakes.

Let’s face it – if you don’t love yourself first, you can’t receive the love that is your birthright. You can’t give from an openhearted place. You’ll always be running on empty and you’ll become depleted. Ever been with someone who parses out love in tiny bits and pieces, each one so precious they’re afraid to let go? Those people aren’t filled with abundant love. Their love is scarce. They believe, “If I give it away, I’ll lose a part of myself.”

I used to feel that way before I loved myself more. After my divorce, I started to pay attention to my needs and desires. I knew I was in charge of creating my life exactly as I wanted it, and I set out to find what made me happy and filled up with joy and love.

I knew that in order to attract my last first date, I’d have to fall in love with myself first. I have found work that fills me up, friends that feed my soul, and a life that fills me with more love than I ever imagined.

Do you love yourself first? What can you do today to love yourself a little bit more? Please share your thoughts below.

With abundant love,





Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

AlphaOmega Captcha Classica  –  Enter Security Code

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.