Don’t Plan Your Wedding on the 3rd Date!

Posted by in dating after divorce, first date success, love after 40, online dating after 40, single women over 40 | 0 comments

Do you have a vivid imagination? I do. When I first started dating after my divorce, I was overly excited to meet men online who seemed to be a reasonably good match. If he was bright and had a good job, I would probably go out with him. If he had a good sense of humor and was kind, I imagined walking down the aisle with him…even before our first date! Has this ever happened to you?

I’ve learned a lot since those early days of dating when it didn’t take much to excite me and get my imagination going.

Maybe you don’t imagine yourself getting married before the first date, but perhaps you’re projecting into the future before there is a future. It’s easy to do. And it can be detrimental to a relationship.

Don’t plan a future before there’s a present.

It can be disheartening when all the men you’ve been dating have not been a good match. And then you meet a guy who seems great. You’re dating him for a month or two, and then you start thinking to yourself, “Is this guy my potential husband? Does he have the right character traits to be a good match for me?”

As soon as you ask those questions, you can be asking for trouble.

What happens is that you project. You stop being present and enjoying the relationship you have.

There is no way that you can predict the future.

So, slow down.

Enjoy what is working.

Don’t judge him for the qualities you think he might be missing. You might be surprised that those things aren’t really important in the long run.

Relationships  take time to develop. Get to know each other through thick and thin, good times and bad.

For now, take a breath. Be present. See what happens. And enjoy him for who he is. You never know what will happen…and you really don’t need to for now!

xoxo

Sandy

 

 

 

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