Excellent Tips For Intimacy and Emotional Connection
My radio guest, sexpert Gail Crowder, shared her best tips for having better sex and building a deeper emotional connection in relationships.
My radio guest, Gail Crowder, shared her tips for building intimacy and emotional connection with a partner. She is a certified master sexpert, marriage and life coach plus best-selling author. She dedicates her time to building the self-perception, public image, spiritual values and individual life purpose of her clients. She has been on television and radio shows for her expert advice on relationships. Her company focuses on ‘Bringing Sexy Back to the Marriage’ and provides a safe space dedicated to the spiritual and sexual enhancement of marriages. She has five books; Your Purse Sized Fashion Guide, Chronicles of Real Sexy Wives, Tall Glass of Water, Bringing Sexy Back to Your Marriage, and Keep Your Legs Open.
Download, listen to, and read highlights for episode #317: How to Reconnect With a Partner Emotionally, Sexually and Spiritually.
Building Intimacy and Emotional Connection
What inspired you to do this work?
I got married at 21 and had no business getting married! I came from a long line of women who were ‘bosses’. I didn’t have any idea what a healthy marriage looked like. There was chaos. I treated my husband horribly. He left and said he won’t come back until I said I was sorry and meant it.
I had never said I was sorry before. I realized I had abandonment and anger issues and had taken that out on my husband. I also realized other women were going from relationship to relationship, but not doing the work to understand why they repeated patterns. That’s where my work began.
My husband and I celebrated 30 years in July of this year!
What happens in relationships that disconnects couples?
The first thing is a lack of effective communication. That started the ripple effect in my marriage. I didn’t know what to say, when to say it, and how to say it.
The second thing is when a couple is on two different paths. How do you bridge that gap? Both don’t want to give up what’s important to them.
The third thing is not having enough activities and interests in common. How do you find things that you enjoy together? Having fun is a key component to a successful relationship. Take time to dance!
What happens to the ‘sexy’ in relationships?
Having amazing sex and staying connected takes work. Couples are often tired and have nothing left to give. When they first meet, they have great chemistry.
Couples have to learn to reconnect and start taking things off their plate and schedule sex. If you don’t schedule it, you won’t be having it.
Great sex is good for the mind and body. There are so many benefits. Do the work to stay connected and have amazing sex.
How can couples bring intimacy and emotional connection back?
Plan dates; what you’ll wear and where you will go. If you have young kids, foster the marriage as your first priority. If you have a great relationship with great communication, it leads to great intimacy, which leads to great sex.
Communication is the key to everything. If you can communicate how you feel, you can work through anything.
How did you balance the power in your relationship with your husband?
I realized I didn’t have to be the dictator in my relationship. I used to think if the bathroom wasn’t cleaned with Clorox, it wasn’t clean. I didn’t have to have control. My husband was valuable, and he brought a new way of thinking to the relationship. I also learned to not say everything that was in my head. And I learned to exercise self-control.
I was married to a capable person who didn’t need a mother. He needed a wife, an equal partner.
I had to stop thinking I had to win at everything!
What’s your number one tip to help women go on their last first date?
Be confident in your own skin. Don’t let the media define your path to love.
You can learn more about Gail Crowder here.
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