Fall in Love Again: Summer Edition
It was magic the moment you met. The conversation was effortless, your interests so complimentary it was almost eerie, and, well, the sparks—right away you were hot for each other. Things only got better from there: the romantic dates, the conversations that went deep into the night, the vulnerable revelations about past hurts, the building of trust so secure you knew you could rely on this person to always be there for you. Maybe it only took months, or maybe it was years, but at some point you knew: this was the person you were meant to spend the rest of your life with. And so, one day you got married. You began a whole new life together, and you just knew this bliss would go on and on. Forever.
Then something happened. Months and years passed, careers and kids took up more and more of your time, and you found out what nobody told you back in the heady days you and your partner were dating: life has this way of coming between you and your marital bliss. Once the best of friends and the deepest of lovers, sometimes it now feels like you and your spouse are little more than roommates raising a family together. Admitting this to yourself hurts, no doubt about it, but know this: there’s hope. Divorce is far from inevitable. It’s never too late to rekindle that fire that brought you and your significant other together so long ago.
It might seem obvious, but the first and most important thing you can do for your relationship is to spend time together—without the kids. To help you with that, we’ve put together a list of summer date ideas that will get you out of the house, away from the kids, and alone together again.
4 Tips to Help You Fall in Love Again
1. Rent a convertible and go for a long drive.
This one might seem strange, but think about it. The sun shining down on you, the wind brushing up against your face, beautiful scenery passing by: with so much inspiration from the world around you, you’ll feel your heart lifted. Share that feeling with your special someone and see how it brings you together. And here’s an added bonus: time alone in a car together is time to talk, and maybe your relationship needs the kind of honest bearing of hearts that your life at home hasn’t allowed recently.
2. Have a picnic.
Here again you have the beauty of the outside world to inspire you and the time together to talk. Really talk. Because remember, wasn’t it those long conversations when you first started dating that drew you together? You’re older now. Life has changed. You have new revelations to share, new developments in your hearts. So talk! Learn to be intimate again through transparent sharing over a picnic lunch and a bottle of wine.
3. Go to a concert together.
For a lot of us, music was one of the first points of connection we formed with our significant others. You both loved the same band and you could talk for hours about favorite songs and all the little nuances that made their music so transcendent. Maybe you both looked down your noses a bit at people who didn’t get it, those poor souls who hadn’t seen the light and fallen in love with your music. You’re musical taste have probably grown since then. Do you still share that together? Do you still sit together and marvel over music that moves you? If not, maybe you should. One great way to do that is to find out where your tastes still align and go to a concert together.
4. Put the kids to bed and stargaze in your own backyard.
Complacency comes in many forms throughout a marriage. But one of the most common looks like this: you’ve both had a long day with work and the kids and dinner and helping out with homework. You’ve finally put the kids to bed and all you want to do is relax. But how do most of us relax together? We turn on the TV, shut off our brains, and veg out. Not only does this not refill or restore us—it only numbs us—it effectively shuts down any opportunity to meaningfully connect with our spouse. So, turn off that TV, grab a bottle of wine, and while the summer weather permits, sit on a blanket in your backyard and take in the splendors of the night sky. Hold hands and just be together. And yes, talk! About life, about your hopes and fears and how much you miss each other each night while sitting two feet apart on the couch and watching TV.
So, there you have it. It’s never too late to fall back in love your with partner, It just takes a little work, a little attention, and a little time. And of course, don’t forget all the ways you used to say I love you. Whether it’s roses for your wife or wearing the perfume you know your husband loves, remember what makes your special someone actually feel special and do it.