Finding a Date in a Rural Area

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finding love in a rural areaDear Sandy,

 I live in a rural area of Central Kansas.  Farm country.  The town I live in has 3300 people, and it is considered a “big” town.  I work on my own farm and am literally related to many of the people who live here.

I’ve tried several dating sites that match you up with a compatibly matched person.  Usually, my results show men that live 4 hours away in Kansas City or 3 hours away in Wichita.  I understand, that, like going to the grocery store, I’m going to have to have to make a drive, but 3 to 4 hours is a bit much!   I’m incredibly frustrated, as most dating advice assumes you live in a well-populated area where finding people to date is an easy task.

I suppose if I have to consider people from a 4-hour radius, then that is what I will have to do.  However, I can’t wrap my head around how to make that happen and having a “quality” relationship.

What dating tips can you give people who live in rural areas?

Thank you,


Dear Heather,

This is my first dating question from someone who lives in such a remote area. I love this question, because it also applies to people who don’t live nearly as remotely as you. They are struggling with similar issues.

For example, I live 45-minutes from Manhattan, but for many of the men I meet online, I might as well live in a foreign country. Some don’t want to have to cross a bridge for a date. Many don’t want to travel out of their 10-block radius!

The main issue, Heather, is not whether you live on a farm or a small town with few eligible singles.

This really boils down to: what is love worth to you?

If you’re serious about finding a man for a long-term relationship or marriage, wouldn’t you be willing to make a big effort to make it work?

Finding love is a big deal. It’s not about convenience. It involves making some compromises, like traveling, and sometimes relocating.

Look at it this way: If you had your eye on an exciting career opportunity that would change your life, would you be willing to travel? Would you pick up and move to a new town or travel a few hours for interviews, if it meant finding the job of your dreams?

Finding a Date in a Rural Area

This is not really about finding a date in your rural area. It’s about deciding if you’re serious about forging a lasting, loving relationship.

What is that worth to you? A 2-3 hour drive? Meeting a man halfway (which is what I would recommend for the first few dates)?

I would hope so. Especially if the end result is a relationship. In that case, the driving would only be in the early stages of dating. If you were in a long distance relationship, you’d soon be spending evenings and weekends together, and eventually one of you would be moving to the other person’s town.

Once you make up your mind that you want a serious relationships, you can make it happen!

Ways to make long distance relationships work

1. Stay connected and intimate despite the distance. You can do this by connecting over the phone, text, Skype or Facetime. It’s amazing how intimate you can be through all of these vehicles of communication. Where there’s a will, there’s definitely a way.

2. Make the relationship your priority. When you both prioritize each other and take the time and effort to deepen the relationship, you build trust, intimacy, and connection. You won’t date other people. You won’t give each other cause to be jealous.

Yes, it definitely takes time and effort to build a relationship, no matter if you live around the corner or 3,000 miles apart.

Finding a date in a rural area is not your biggest problem. When you make finding a man to love a priority, the rewards will outweigh the distance. 

And remember, if you want to immediately turn around your online dating success, sign up here for my FREE report. Happy dating!







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