First Impressions Really Do Matter

Posted by in dating after divorce, single women over 40 | 0 comments

Whether you are meeting a potential date for the first time online or in person, on the phone or by video chat, first impressions matter. People are generally quick to judge, so make sure to put your best self forward. The ability to judge is both a good and bad thing. It is quite helpful to possess the skill of being able to discern a person with good character, a truth teller, an overall good person from a liar, cheat, or charming snake. It’s important, too, to steer clear of being overly judgmental, jumping to conclusions without enough information to back you up.

If you’re dating online, you might have had this experience. You’re perusing the guys who have viewed your profile, and what do you see? Guys with blurry or outdated photos (high school graduation? Come on, we’re not that dumb), overly posed professional company photos, and guys with their shirts off trying too hard to impress in all the wrong ways. And then, every once in a while, you feel like you’ve found the golden ticket, a guy who looks sweet, handsome, grounded, approachable! You read his profile essay and he can not only spell and correctly use grammar, he also seems to have a lot of depth, intelligence and kindness. Wow! Exciting!! Now what?

Do you write him first? Open his profile and hope that he’ll notice and write you first? Play hard to get and do nothing, then wait and see what he’ll do next? He made a good first impression on you. Here’s where your first impression on him matters.

First, make sure that your profile is up to par. Are you looking your best? Are you putting more than one photo up on the site, preferably including both close-ups of you looking directly at the camera, warmly smiling, and a shot or two of your whole body, so he can see more of you? Remember, men are quite visual, so those first impressions matter a lot.

Second, make sure your profile essay is well-written. Did you put the time and effort into best representing yourself? Are you showing more than telling (“I am very intelligent” is hardly as powerful as “The last book I read was War and Peace“)?

If your profile isn’t up to speed, consider editing it yourself or hiring a professional who can help you make a great first impression. Feel free to check out my three online profile essay packages here.

Okay, so your profile is fabulous, and you want to know what to do about the cute guy who looked at your profile? I believe that women should feel free to make the first move. Send him a brief email addressing what you liked about his profile. Let him know that you found him interesting, funny, liked his values, or whatever it was that attracted you to him. But don’t address his appearance. Get to the heart of who he is, and you’ll more likely touch his heart.

I have spoken with many men who are dating online, and they are not usually the first to write to women. They wait and see who emails them. While I find this to be frustrating, it’s good information for you women online daters. Men are waiting for you! Make that great first impression and let me know how it goes.


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