Five Tips for Dating Success

Posted by in dating after divorce, single women over 40 | 0 comments

Last night, I spent an hour with 6 wonderful women who have had success in all aspects of their lives except dating. These smart women are members of my new dating tele-course, Dating 101. They range in age from 32 to 55, and run the gamut from divorced to never married, with and without children, but they all have one thing in common: they are looking for success in finding love.

I believe that finding that elusive thing we call love, whether it’s a romanticized version of love or not, can be difficult. But it doesn’t have to be. Here are some tips on making it easier.

Five Tips for Dating Success

1. Change your mentality about trading up. I remember when I was a single twenty-something living in Manhattan’s Upper West Side, and single eligible men and women were everywhere; at work, at synagogue, at my friend’s apartments. And yet, dating was not so easy. I felt that men were always looking to trade up. Don’t like brunettes? Never fear, there is a blonde nearby. Too tall? Too short? Too thin? Wrong color eyes? Trade up. Today, with the plethora of online daters, it’s easy to think that the ‘perfect’ mate is out there, the one who is a buff 6′ hunk, still has all his hair, and is emotionally available. Many people think “next!” when looking through profile after profile. My advice? If you find Mr. Mostly Right, stick with him and see what happens. Mission accomplished.

2. Don’t talk too much. Ask a lot of questions on a date, and show your interest in him. Smile. People love attention. This is how we bond and feel a connection towards each other.

3. Choose an unconventional location for your date. The best first dates are ones in which being together is natural. Coffee dates can feel like an interview session. My favorite first dates have been in museums or a picnic in a park. There is something to talk about other than each other. Much more organic.

4. Don’t expect guys to pay for expensive dates at the beginning. Some resent the expectation. Most first dates are not breaking the bank, and I don’t think there should be a lot of money spent before the relationship develops. Offer to pay. A mensch will usually say no and appreciate your good will.

5. Relax and enjoy the dating process. You will meet many interesting people. If you put less pressure on yourself to meet the ‘one’ on each and every dating encounter, you will enjoy dating that much more.

I see dating as an interesting ¬†journey. It’s also a numbers game. You need to kiss a lot of toads, as the saying goes, and I think it’s essentially the truth. ¬†Except for one thing ~ most guys are not really toads. They are just not the right fit for you ~ yet. Keep on truckin’ and you’ll eventually meet the right guy.

In the meantime, have fun. Here’s to your dating success!

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