Gaslighting Recovery For Women

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gaslighting recovery

Gaslighting recovery is possible for women who have experienced this type of emotional abuse and manipulation. Learn more here.

Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist, author, podcaster and researcher. Her specialties include; Art therapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), EMDR and Brainspotting as well as being a certified meditation and Yoga instructor. Her work focuses on women’s issues, empowering survivors of abuse and relationship trauma, Highly Sensitive Persons, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD. She’s also the author of the new book, Gaslighting Recovery for Women: The Complete Guide to Recognizing Manipulation and Achieving Freedom from Emotional Abuse. 

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

  • Signs that you’re experiencing gaslighting
  • Signs that it’s NOT gaslighting 
  • Tools to effect change when gaslighting and other manipulative tactics are at play in a relationship
  • How to recover from gaslighting

EP 592: Dr. Amelia Kelley – Gaslighting Recovery For Women

What are some signs of gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse. Some examples are:

  • Disagreeing with someone or having a different opinion, so you undermine or belittle their ability to have valid views
  • Outright denying events that have proof or evidence, or hiding proof to alter their memory of a situation
  • Blaming them for all your personal issues and problems because they are a (bad, difficult, worthless, thankless, etc) person
  • Hurting someone’s feelings by minimizing that their feelings are valid
  • Conflict itself does not constitute gaslighting – unless it is done to purposefully distract someone from expressing themselves or their needs. For example, you try to confront a gaslighter and instead they cause other conflicts to distract and confuse you, often trivializing your emotions around the first conflict
  • Telling the person they have poor or faulty memory or even go so far as to say they have issues with their sense of reality and sanity
  • “Diverting” — when someone questions the credibility of another person by questioning their source of information. For instance, telling someone, “you don’t know what you’re talking about because you get all your information off the Internet.”

What does NOT constitute gaslighting?

Gaslighting is not being in conflict. Disagreeing, remembering things differently, having a different perspective. These are not forms of gaslighting.

What are some of the tools you teach to effect change when gaslighting and other manipulative tactics are at play in a relationship?

  1. Identify that it is gaslighting
  2. Distance yourself if you can
  3. If you can’t get away from the gaslighter, find a safe person to help connect you to your ego strength
  4. Do fact tracking to measure the behavior – emails, texts, etc.
  5. Lodge a complaint if it’s safe to do so

What are some of the evidence-based tools for recovery that you teach?

It’s important to reconnect with your confidence and self-esteem. Know that you deserve to be safe and treated well. Confidence is about succeeding out in the world. Anything you can do to enhance both is crucial.

You can do art therapy where you remind yourself about what you love, what preferences you have. Be willing to disagree, but not with gaslighters. 

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Lean back into disagreeability. Remember to have your own emotional individuation, your boundaries, and your opinions. Don’t be a chameleon. Don’t shape shift. Those relationships will not work.

Watch This Episode on YouTube

Connect with Dr. Amelia





Free Gift: One copy of the book, GASLIGHTING RECOVERY FOR WOMEN: THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO RECOGNIZING MANIPULATION AND ACHIEVING FREEDOM FROM EMOTIONAL ABUSE. Follow @drameliakelley on IG and like and DM that you heard her on my podcast, and one winner will get a free book. Available until January 23, 2024

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