Getting Over Feeling Rejected

Posted by in dating after divorce, dating in midlife, self-esteem in dating | 0 comments

dating after divorceDear Sandy,

I was married 30 years when my husband divorced me. I struggle financially and find it really difficult to meet any quality men at my age -54. My ex right out of the gate got a 43 year old girlfriend. He is 55. How do I get over feeling like an old used car that no one wants?

Dee Dee

Dear Dee Dee,

You haven’t shared much of your background except your age and the age of your ex-husband. I don’t know why he asked for a divorce, but frankly, it doesn’t really matter.

What concerns me is that you feel like ‘an old used car that no one wants’.

I can understand why you are feeling rejected. You feel like your husband moved on ‘right out of the gate’ with a much younger woman. a) That doesn’t mean he’s happy or that the relationship will last. b) I don’t trust a relationship that blossoms immediately after divorce. His relationship may have started before he left you. But again, it doesn’t really matter.

Dee Dee, the problem is that you’re feeling like that used car. You’re feeling old at age 54. ‘Old’ is a relevant term. I’m 57, and I’m feeling energetic, happy, and vibrant.

Your thoughts are in the toilet, but you don’t have to be.

So, please pick yourself up and stop telling yourself that you’re all washed up. You’ll only be unappealing to a man if you’re not appealing to yourself.

Start building a case to support your self-love. And stop looking outside and comparing yourself to anyone else.

Ask a good friend or two what they love about you. Start taking better care of yourself. Get a makeover, a new haircut, a new outfit or two. Get yourself to the gym or on some kind of exercise regimen. Find a hobby. Do things you love with people you love, and you’ll soon be feeling 54 years young.

You’ll gradually stop feeling rejected, and you’ll be a woman that men want to be around.

xoxo

Sandy

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